F TROOP Fridays: "Reach for the Sky, Pardner" (1966)

 

F TROOP Fridays: Number 42  

F TROOP: "Reach for the Sky, Pardner" (1966 ABC-TV/Warner Brothers) Season Two, Episode 38; original air date September 29, 1966.  Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane Angelica Thrift, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Bob Steele as Private Duffy, Joe Brooks as Vanderbilt.  Guest Stars: Charles Lane as Mr. Maguire, Paul Sorensen as Tombstone, George Barrows as Pecos, Mary Young as Widow O'Brien.  Written by Arthur Julian.  Directed by Seymour Robbie.

The latest expansion of O'Rourke Enterprises is a literal one of the Fort Courage saloon's banquet room, designed to attract convention business away from Dodge City.  The augmentation necessitated a loan from miserly Maguire, eager to foreclose on the lucrative property at the first missed payment.  The deadline is no problem for the Sarge....until desperado train robbers make off with the Fort Courage payroll during their latest heist.

"I guess it's true what the Apaches say about him--Wild Eagle is a cheap, miserly skinflint who wouldn't give his own mother a piece of dried buffalo!"

"Never know Apache such good judge of character!"

With trooper IOU's no longer a viable source and time of the essence, O'Rourke pulls every string he can.  Things look mighty dark after his business partners refuse to loan him the money, attempts to persuade a hardship emergency payroll are thwarted (partly since the real source of said hardship cannot be revealed to the Captain) and Maguire unsmilingly forecloses on poor old Widow O'Brien in front of them--so much for Irish sentimentality.  

"Sarge, you saved your saloon!"

"What's that, Corporal?"

"I said the train arrives at Noon!"

Just when it looks like the saloon is about to change hands, a lifeline is thrown by the unlikeliest of sources--territorial headquarters!  In the form of a second payroll via tomorrow's train.  With no margin for error, O'Rourke and Agarn volunteer Parmenter to go undercover as mail clerks to ensure safe delivery.  There's also a warning about the bandits, however: murderers wanted in four states.  So is it a lifeline or a death line?

"Oh, Wilton, I just love it when you make these quick decisions!"

Your money or your life?  The question that had Jack Benny thinking it over for a patented pregnant pause causes no such consternation for O'Rourke and Agarn--greed wins decisively.  The troopers both voluntell their boss in head spinning fashion that they'll accompany the payroll.  For his part, President O'Rourke never wavers, while V.P. Agarn separates slightly once they're on the train and reality sets in.

  

"If they get THAT payroll it'll be over our dead bodies!"

"YOU shoot it out with them, Sarge!  I'd rather reach for the sky than BE there!"

Expansion of O'Rourke Enterprises is a frequent F TROOP storyline but usually involves the creation of new souvenirs or side businesses.  This time, literal expansion of the existing cornerstone is the focus, with the Sarge looking to compete aggressively with Dodge instead of just extolling the 109 mile distance to that next saloon.  It doesn't appear that the more fiscally conservative Wild Eagle was enthusiastic about this growth from his reaction to his partner's request for a debt relief loan.  Wild Eagle's reticence to loan money to O'Rourke isn't surprising, but the Chief risking the potential loss of his lucrative whisky sales (maybe the next owner will buy Hekawi, maybe not) by not having his pal's back raises an eyebrow.  He'd normally acquiesce after negotiating himself some solid vigorish.  

While we're on the subject of the cheeseparing, Charles Lane moonlights from PETTICOAT JUNCTION and gives O'Rourke Enterprises a different kind of threat, one arguably more difficult to solve than any Inspector General to date.  You'd think he could obtain the saloon by simply threatening to expose the Sarge's clandestine proprietorship, but takeover doesn't appear to be his primary motivation.  Rightly so.  If you're a banker it's probably more profitable for less of a headache to keep the vigorish coming in without actually running the place or trying to find a suitable buyer.  Notice he shows no pleasure in obtaining the widow's property and considers it an immediate headache, wanting to unload it "cheap".

O'Rourke Enterprises seems to be a much more open secret than previously intimated, since it is used as collateral for Maguire's loan.  But as long as Captain Parmenter is kept in the dark, that's all that matters.  Nevertheless "the old man" is oh-so-close to getting in on the secret twice, once when he stumbles onto the construction (just missing the Sarge barking out instructions), and later after he smuggles himself onto the train to assist his undercover underlings.  Fortunately the President and Vice President don't engage in any shop talk during that brief time that they are unaware of Wilton's presence. 

Reach for the Sky, Pardner lacks a secondary plot, but that doesn't hurt this nimble entry from Julian, who bounces back nicely after the subpar How to be F Troop Without Really Trying.  O'Rourke's search for alternate funding leads us through the lyrics from When Irish Eyes are Smiling, September in the Rain and (best of all) Oh! That's Good, No That's Bad in the first Act alone--one song for each stop, in fact.  The only real quibble comes from killer bandits Tombstone and Pecos both being so distracted by the hot n' spicy letter that they fail to notice O'Rourke taking his gun off them while he listens.  To be fair, that's an almost pornographic letter for 1866 and even pretty interesting a century and a half later--see more below.

It's a quite venerable guest cast this time, with Mary Young making her penultimate TV appearance at 87 alongside Lane, who was 60 but always looked 87 and had another three decades left in his career (he died at 102 in 2007).  ROBOT MONSTER Barrows not only gets out of his usual gorilla suit but is also credited for a change, and Sorensen was over a decade away from his long running recurring gig as cartel oilman Andy Bradley on DALLAS. 

NAGGING QUESTIONS:

One will come later, during Bring on the Dancing Girls.  In that installment, Dan Larsen blackmails "the owner of the building" who is leasing to O'Rourke--yet here, O'Rourke must be the owner, since the saloon is his collateral for the loan.  Well, is the Sarge owning or leasing?  Which is it, Arthur Julian, since you wrote both episodes?

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

Sarge comes away with a nice windfall in the end that for once is related to his duties as a soldier instead of his illicit activities elsewhere.  While things look shaky until that point, the banquet room will come in handy when Emilio Barberini passes through later (La Dolce Courage).

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH TREASON:

Zero, in fact he's a model soldier in spite of himself here, heroically capturing two killer bandits with assists from Parmenter and Agarn.  

BAITING THE CENSORS:

Julian slyly gets a blowjob reference past them while Agarn reads the sexy letter: "you placed your lips on my mouth---(pregnant pause, turns page)---organ".  

WISE OLD HEKAWI SAYING?

Wild Eagle is slipping--he can't recall the wise old Indian saying about lending money.  The paleface have one of their own: "You don't lend O'Rourke the money, he loses his saloon!  And stops buying whisky from you, and you walk around with holes in your moccasins!"  A bit long winded, but the Chief concedes it isn't a bad little saying.  

THE ALL IMPORTANT NIELSENS:

Reach for the Sky, Pardner underperformed the season average with a 17.3 rating/29.8 share, losing to DANIEL BOONE on NBC.  Lead-out THE TAMMY GRIMES SHOW was really dragging ABC's fortunes down, posting an absolutely abysmal 9.9/16.6 in what would be the disastrous sitcom's fourth and final airing.  With GRIMES gone the following week, F TROOP rebounded to a 33.2 share and began the climb back to 1965-66 levels that took the first half of the season to complete.  Yes, GRIMES really was a debacle heretofore unseen on network television at the time. 

THE BOTTOM LINE:

This time the status quo is threatened by a menacing miser, proving that black swan events for our Enterprises don't have to come from Washington, D.C.  Wobbles a bit in its resolution but Julian has his feel for these characters back and Robbie (arguably the finest F TROOP director--close race with Rondeau IMO) camouflages the thinness of the plot nicely.  O'Rourke Enterprises in peril is always a winner for this sitcom, and Charles Lane guest starring is a winner for any sitcom.  Reach for the Sky, Pardner has both of these positives.   (***1/2 out of four) 

F TROOP airs 9 to 10 a.m. weekday mornings on Outlaw The Western Channel.

Guest posting at IT'S ABOUT TV! Today

THAT BOB, with Tania Velia!  

Very special thanks to Mitchell Hadley, author of the forthcoming DARKNESS IN PRIME TIME and several other television books.  You know his IT'S ABOUT TV blog very well from my links on the right side of your page and weekly TV GUIDE posts every Saturday, and he has kindly invited me to provide today's guest post at his blog.

The occasion?  An appreciation of THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW, a.k.a. LOVE THAT BOB, which turns 70 this year.  Yes, I previously posted an overview of the series way back when on the 100th anniversary of the star's birth, but starting the episode guide on this blog has given me new perspective on my prior thoughts.

Gratuitously showing you Lisa Gaye (2nd from L) as I am apt to do

Check out today's post at this link, and check out this one for more information on Mr. Hadley's past and forthcoming literary works.  We now turn back to our regular programming at The Horn Section, and will resume the ongoing episode guides next week.  As always, thanks for reading!

F TROOP Fridays: "How to be F Troop Without Really Trying" (1966)

 

F TROOP Fridays: Number 41 

F TROOP: "How to be F Troop Without Really Trying" (ABC-TV/Warner Brothers 1966)  Season Two, Episode 2; Original Air Date: September 15, 1966.  Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat, James Hampton as Bugler Hannibal Dobbs, Bob Steele as Duffy, Joe Brooks as Vanderbilt.  Guest Stars: George Tyne as Major Bradley and Les Brown Jr. as Lieutenant Harrison.  Written by Arthur Julian.  Directed by David Alexander.

Major Bradley is the latest visiting officer to ride into Fort Courage.  Inspection?  Hardly. F Troop has been ordered to train their own replacements, G Troop.  The entire squad is being transferred to Bloody Creek, with the exception of one N.C.O. who will remain: Corporal Randolph Agarn.  

This news is poorly received by all: Agarn doesn't want to be left with a bunch of strangers, Jane and Wilton don't want to be separated by distance, and O'Rourke surely doesn't want to be away from his lucrative side hustle (though, unbelievably, this isn't even brought up until Act II).  An order is an order, however, and this is one time Uncle Sam seemingly won't be deterred by any shenanigans.

After The Singing Mountie opened F TROOP's sophomore season with a bang, the second color entry is a huge letdown.  The weakest of the 36 segments to date, How to be F Troop Without Really Trying is almost completely incongruous with everything that preceded it--surprising since it was written by the most prolific of the show's writers, Arthur Julian.  The single biggest issue is the complete impotence of Sergeant O'Rourke, heretofore the man who ruled while Parmenter reigned.  

More fun than the audience is having, that's for sure

Much like Bilko at Fort Baxter a century after him, O'Rourke was the real mover and shaker at Fort Courage.  When we met him in Scourge of the West, he'd already eliminated two Captains and a Major before Parmenter arrived (two desertions, one nervous breakdown) and gave him his "Great White Pidgeon"--the perfect C.O. for O'Rourke Enterprises.  Presidency of that Enterprises paid well enough that a General's pay would be a salary reduction, and threats to the Sarge's business were eliminated one by one--be they from a quartet of visiting Majors (including one from the Bengal Lancers!) or from empowered members of Parmenter's esteemed military family.  He might be temporarily bowed by each obstacle presented, but O'Rourke was never surrendering his highly profitable side hustle meekly.  

That Sergeant O'Rourke is missing entirely from How to be F Troop Without Really Trying.  Previously defending his Enterprises at all costs, he's oddly submissive to this order, deferring to Wilton's formal protest via official channels.  The helplessness might be understandable, but not the apathy.  The Sarge weirdly seems more concerned with the potential breakup of Jane and Wilton than with the loss of his own business until the literal day before the move, when he suddenly realizes he has one.  Even then we get no real subterfuge from the NCO's or their partners, just a toothless threat from Wild Eagle to break the treaty which goes nowhere.  A man willing to sabotage military strategy (to the point of letting the Hekawi take over Fort Courage once!) and even risk being burned at the stake to save his beloved establishment is now ungrudgingly handing the reigns to Agarn and becoming a soldier again.  Hey...who are you, and what have you done with Morgan O'Rourke?

The impression given is that working on Major Bradley is completely useless against this bureaucratic order--one somehow superior to all the others previously faced.  Why then, is it so abruptly overturned by a few seconds of post-Parmenter ineptitude (no worse than anything we've seen previously) by....Major Bradley?  And Sarge does nothing to facilitate the eventual fatal flaw---that incompetent F Troop would produce trainees just as hopeless.  He's already ridden off to Bloody Creek, when in fact this Achilles heel should have been one of O'Rourke's first thoughts, since this was his initial counter to the threat Bentley Royce posed in the aforementioned Phantom Major.  

As for the Vice President, Corporal Agarn's response also lacks his previous greed and ambition.  Before now (Play, Gypsy, Play and Lt. O'Rourke, Front and Center) eager to prove he could provide the brains of the organization just as well as the Sarge, Agarn is also a changed man for the worse.  Yeah, he's always been gentler than O'Rourke, but never to the point of having no heart whatsoever for even keeping the Enterprises going without him.  He's always been a weeper, but an avaricious one.  Until now, that is.  

"I was told you even smoked the peace pipe."

"I didn't inhale!"

With complete changes in our characters that normally would never be found outside of a dream sequence, there's little to recommend about How to be F Troop Without Really Trying.  It is historically significant for the above line, a quarter century before Bill Clinton famously used it, and also as the very first example of the "Who says I'm dumb?" exchange that would rival the falling lookout tower as F TROOP's signature running gag.  The rest of the time, this slow moving plot give us lots of ineptitude-fueled slapstick and sappy sentimentality failing to bolster Julian's still-solid wordplay.  Fortunately, O'Rourke and Agarn would return to being their normal materialistic selves in subsequent weeks, thankfully making this dire affair an outlier.  

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

About to go bankrupt without a whimper, apparently.  We never even visit the saloon and it is as if it doesn't even exist this week.  Strangely, O'Rourke has all that merchandise surrounding him while he sits in the NCO Club while he worries about the fate of the Wilton/Jane romance.  Yes, really.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON?

He did consort with the enemy when he advised the Chief to threaten to break the treaty.  That's still a far cry from actually throwing battles or paying for easily repelled attacks, though, and not nearly as much fun.

WISE OLD HEKAWI SAYING?

Not much wisdom from anyone young or old in this.  Parmenter had a long-winded quote from his father that defended seemingly unjust Army orders, but extra verbiage didn't equal extra wisdom or humor.  

HISTORICAL FACTS:

Agarn asks Duffy to send him a letter Pony Express about his Alamo exploits, with the Private reminding him that it stopped running five years ago.  ("I know that Duffy.")  It did in fact cease operations in October 1861, so apparently How to be F Troop Without Really Trying takes place exactly one century prior to its September 1966 air date.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

The worst installment to date by far and arguably the worst of the entire series.  Other segments that didn't get the show's characters right were usually done by freelancers or first time F TROOP scripters. Writing his 15th episode here, Arthur Julian has no such excuse.  Fortunately, this was not indicative of a new direction.  Sandwiched between The Singing Mountie and Bye, Bye Balloon, How to be F Troop without Really Trying is an isolated dud best skipped over while you are binging IMO.  (1/2 star out of ****)

F TROOP is currently airing weekdays at 9 a.m. Eastern on THE OUTLAW NETWORK. 

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob and the Ballerina" (1959)

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob and the Ballerina" (NBC-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions 1959) Original Air Date: May 5, 1959.  Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Sylvia Lewis as Natasha, Lawrence Dobkin as Maestro Bert Prival, Elvia Allman as Sylvia Montague, Marjorie Bennett as Betsy Niemeyer, Larri Thomas as Daphne, Jean Willes as Evelyn Engel, Tammy Marihugh as Tammy Johnson.  Written by Paul Henning and Dick Wesson.  Directed by Bob Cummings. 

Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide is at this link.

Missing out on a beach vacation because her ladies' club is hosting a ballet, Margaret is dismayed to learn the the production of Swan Lake is troubled despite the secured services of director Prival and star Natasha.  The source of the trouble?  Here's a hint: after calling in with a "charley horse" for today's rehearsal, Natasha was observed leaving her apartment with a bearded gentleman.

"If you ask me, the horse is a wolf!"

Yes, the only one making any progress with the temperamental star is Margaret's brother Bob.  Prival bemoans that Natasha has missed multiple rehearsals, and is too pooped to pirouette when she does show.  Prival is ready to resign, but the ladies beg for patience: in a last ditch effort to save the production, they've set a trap to catch the couple and move practices to a top secret location away from El Lobo.

"Stay quiet as mice and we'll catch a rat!"

The second half of Bob and the Ballet, Bob and the Ballerina continues that installment's effort to get back to the show's basics and steer away from the Tammy Marihugh Experiment.  Over a decade before THE BRADY BUNCH crashed and burned with Cousin Oliver, THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW attempted to introduce a youngster to idolize Bob with the pending departure of Dwayne Hickman to headline DOBIE GILLIS.  The eight episode Tammy arc accelerated the show's diminishing returns both creatively (we were past 150 episodes at this point) and in the all important Nielsens, so Tammy and her aunt are jettisoned to a beach vacation in the first thirty seconds so Bob can get back to horndog mode. And as Tammy exits, nephew Chuck returns--for Act One, anyway.

Finally, after several episodes trying to woo Tammy's widow aunt Evelyn, Bob is back to being our Playboy, sweeping the ballerine leader right off her feet.  "The King" is back in top form: Natasha is miserable when she's missing practices, but her interest level trumps all and Bob's organ is beating Bert's organizing, so to speak.  Since Margaret's culture committee needs its star, Maestro Prival has a lot of backing in his efforts to reclaim Swan Lake's star attraction. 

Womanizing is back on the front burner, Chuck's back at home, Bob is in full lothario mode (just can't wait until the show is over to woo her, can he?) and facing many obstacles to his latest conquest.  What's not to like?  The problems that preceded ersatz domestication remain: creative exhaustion with over 160 episodes in the can and a reduced writing team.  In LOVE THAT BOB's prime years we had a trio or quartet of scripters but Henning and Wesson had to handle the entire 38 episodes for 1958-59 themselves.  The strain shows: while this plot is faithful to the original premise, the execution isn't as crisp as before despite Cummings' disciplined direction.  

Bob and the Ballerina isn't overly reliant on slapstick like a few other fifth season entries, but isn't quite as inspired as the show at its peak either.  Natasha remains "tired, temperamental and uncooperative" when rehearsal is moved, so Bob seems more like a scapegoat instead of the root of the problem.  The denouement seems to open up more problems for Prival--how cooperative will jealous Natasha be working with Daphne now that she thinks the latter has been trying to steal her man?  Bob's comeuppance is based on wrongful accusation; it was always funnier when he crashed and burned under his own hubris.  

NATASHA: These are legs of a prima ballerina!

PRIVAL: Those are legs of Primo Carnera!

Still, there are some terrific lines and sight gags here, and Dobkin is inspired as Prival.  The real Bert Prival started dancing in the 1920's with the Metropolitan Opera and kept his durable L.A. dance studio until 1981.  Dobkin's fictional version is meticulous, enjoying telling off his fickle star when he thinks he has a replacement, and hilariously obsequious once he realizes he doesn't.  He isn't a romantic rival for Natasha, but he sure looks envious at Bob's mastery of her moods.  

The great Sylvia Lewis is still with us at 93, and makes her sixth series appearance after playing an eponymous model during the first two seasons.  Her lifelong friend and fellow dancer Larri Thomas passed through for the only time with this two parter; a shame, she'd have fit right in as one of the many models in Bob's studio and has a funny scene throwing herself at him (Bert's idea).

The retro approach makes this one of the best episodes in the final stretch for BOB CUMMINGS; with only nine episodes to go, we had the return of Tammy (thankfully, no longer a focus) and more "name" stars playing fictionalized versions of themselves (Ken Murray, Harry Von Zell) yet to come in efforts to freshen the humor.  But what worked best for LOVE THAT BOB was simple trust in its original premise, and Bob and the Ballerina offers solid proof of that despite falling short of top tier status. 

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Outside of Chuck, who isn't given security clearance for the top secret rehearsal location, everyone is trying to stop our boy this time.  

Go away, boy, you bother me!

DID BOB SCORE?

Seems likely from the comments at this episode's outset that he already has with Natasha....see next section:

MOST SUGGESTIVE LINE:

"You can dance one length in your sleep...and a couple more nights like last night and you will!"  

See what I mean?  The mob is successful in stopping Bobby Boy from any repeat performances during this one, albeit through wrongful accusation. For once he isn't two timing!  It also seems like this comeuppance is unlikely to stick for long, Natasha's mood changes early and often. 

THE BOTTOM LINE:

It is great to see LOVE THAT BOB returning to its roots after flirting way too much with domestic conventionality for two months of shows, and Bob's carnal pursuits conflicting with his sister's charitable venture is always a winner.  All that said, inspired scripts like Bob Gives S.R.O. Performance have put up a high bar to clear in that latter area, and while Bob and the Ballerina is a decent, slightly above average effort, Cummings and friends aren't quite all the way back to top form here.  At least LOVE THAT BOB is looking like an adult sitcom again instead of coming painfully close to becoming what it spent four years lampooning.  (*** out of four)

Courtesy of Vern's 16 MM Showcase on Youtube, here's a terrific 16 MM print with original Winston commericals of Bob and the Ballerina for your viewing pleasure.  Yes, it is disabled on this site, so you'll have to click on the link to watch it there:

The WHITE SHADOW podcast with Cosmoetica

 

Yours truly returned to Dan Schneider's COSMOETICA podcast this weekend and also returned to one of The Horn Section's earliest television posts, on the woefully underrated yet fondly remembered CBS series THE WHITE SHADOW, which aired 54 episodes from 1978 to 1981.  COSMOETICA is one of the links I suggest you check out at the bottom of the right side of the page, as Dan has covered a wide range of great TV shows of the past, primarily covering the years 1965 to 1980.

Dan and Harv Aronson of Abstract Sports participated in the discussion with yours truly, in which we reminisce about the critically acclaimed and often prescient CBS series.  In preparation for the podcast, I revisited my Season Two DVD review from back in the day, and binge watched the show.  If anything, it looks even better to me today than it did in 2006.  Or even 1981 for that matter.

Anyway, here's the link to the one hour podcast.  On my second visit to Cosmoetica I was able to avoid technical difficulties this time around, so by all means check it out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzibTaiAgj0

Back with more reviews soon!

F TROOP Fridays: "The West Goes Ghost" (1966)

 

F TROOP Fridays -- Number 40 

F TROOP: "The West Goes Ghost" (1966 Warner Brothers/ABC-TV) Season Two, Episode 40: Original Air Date October 13, 1966.  Starring Forrest Tucker as Sgt. Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, James Hampton as Bugler Hannibal Dobbs, Joe Brooks as Private Vanderbilt, Bob Steele as Trooper Duffy, Ivan Bell as Dudleson, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat.  Guest Star Don Beddoe as Harry The Hermit.  Written by Arthur Julian.  Directed by Seymour Robbie.

Sergeant O'Rourke's latest scheme is arguably his biggest ever, big enough to need two new partners (Dobbs and Vanderbilt): homesteading Paradise Junction, a nearby ghost town.  O'Rourke has inside information that the railroad will soon be passing through Paradise, and the Sarge feels the upside is high enough for the men to legally buy their way out of the army.  It isn't the easiest sale to Agarn, but the two men who aren't benefitting from being Vice President of O'Rourke Enterprises already are ready to try it, and the Corporal follows suit.

"We can make a fortune here!"

"Selling dust?"

It's easy to see holes in the plan right away: Dobbs and Agarn will be the town dentist and doctor, respectively (that's what medical books are for, right?).  "Man of Vision" Vanderbilt will run the hotel while O'Rourke runs the bank.  Doctor Agarn is the largest obstacle once he's clued in by Jane and Wild Eagle that Paradise has literal ghosts roaming the grounds--those of Black Jack Crawford and Maud Fletcher.

As was the case in Captain Parmenter, One Man Army, O'Rourke decides to take his Enterprises into the civilian world.  That was planned as a temporary side hustle, though--this time it's for keeps, with O'Rourke citing the Homestead Act (1862, one would assume) and planning to leave Army life for good.  Attracting people to the abandoned former Paradise hinges solely on the Sarge's inside information on the railroad and it isn't much of a spoiler to reveal that the scuttlebutt has it wrong.

"If we believe in happy hunting ground in the sky, how tough is it to believe in ghosts?"

The President of O'Rourke Enterprises also had much more enthusiastic support from his regular partners in the previous season's venture.  Wild Eagle has zero interest, though it appears his aversion is to offering whiskey on credit rather than the rumored apparitions.  Since there are no residents in Paradise Junction yet, one must assume O'Rourke needs the red-eye advance for the regular saloon while he meets the financial requirements for the application.

"Are you sure Millard Fillmore ain't President?"

Unsuccessful at bringing life to the deserted Junction, O'Rourke does manage to solve the mystery of Blackjack Crawford: he's Harry the Hermit, who seems to be a big reason the town has no other residents.  Not that he needs to scare them away, as he seems more than capable of annoying anyone away who comes near in our few minutes with him.  Delightfully grungy here, ubiquitous character actor Don Beddoe's more than 300 credits included UNHOLY PARTNERS, the MAVERICK episode Rope of Cards, and HONOLULU LU and HOODLUM EMPIRE with Tucker.

With a pencil thin story to hang everything on and a punch line delivered long before the end, the key point of interest for The West Goes Ghost is seeing so many secondary characters in different duds.  Vanderbilt gets more to do than usual (though the "sight" gags are never far away); Dobbs is the nominal adult in the room as his running season two rivalry with Agarn picks up steam; O'Rourke and Agarn's suits from One Man Army look funnier in color (particularly the latter); but Duffy's promotion all the way to three stripes after over thirty years of service seems like it should be a bigger event.  Predictably, the new Sergeant's role model remains Davy Crockett. 

After Agarn's disastrous kitchen foray in Too Many Cooks Spoil the Troop O'Rourke doesn't take any chances--Dobbs handles the cooking in Paradise.  There's a great foreshadowing in-joke after the Bugler names the ingredients of his Louisiana roots-driven dinner: wild rabbit stew, corn fritters, mustard greens and black-eyed peas.  O'Rourke responds by quoting the signature song of Tucker's childhood hero Phil Harris: "and that's what I like about the South!"  Harris was three months away from memorably guest starring in What Are You Doing After the Massacre?  

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON:

None; can't commit many military crimes when you're not in the service for ninety percent of the episode.

NAGGING QUESTIONS:

Lots.  Why doesn't Captain Parmenter just show O'Rourke the letter requesting a railroad protection detail--proof that Paradise is being bypassed--instead of the elaborate ruse with Jane?  Why doesn't Harry the Hermit stake a claim to the town, since he claims to have lived there 20 years?  And why is Harry so quick to leave when he feels he has ghostly competition, since two decades seems like a Hell of a commitment to abandon in five seconds?

PROMOTIONS:

In Lt. O'Rourke, Front and Center the Sergeant's temporary commission resulted in equally temporary promotions to Sergeant (Agarn), Corporal (Dobbs), and Bugler (Hoffenmueller).  Agarn and Dobbs join this venture, leaving F Troop with a distressingly thin bench.  Duffy goes from zero stripes all the way to three, and Dudleson gets the bugler nod (he isn't really a downgrade, IMO).  But apparently no one left can fill Agarn's shoes, since there's no temporary Corporal.  Interestingly, the new cannon crew is able to miss the lookout tower, but unable to avoid hitting Jane's general store and the customers in it.

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

While the Paradise Junction venture yields no profits, one would hope he isn't out the cost of the homestead application yet and that he and the men get their buyouts back after the quick reenlistment.

WISE OLD HEKAWI SAYING?

Some wisdom regarding lending and the aforementioned quote on superstitions, but no literal saying this time.

PC OR NOT PC?

A stereotype is only being played up as an excuse.  Wild Eagle isn't really afraid of ghosts, just of extending credit.  Considering the success of the venture, he's proven right. 

THE BOTTOM LINE:

The West Goes Ghost goes down easy enough during its inevitable journey back to the status quo.  Some good lines by Julian and a rare chance to see everyone either out of uniform or in different positions but this one is awfully slight and seems padded well before the end of Act II.  An average entry at best.  Every Sixties sitcom needed a haunted house or town at least once and F TROOP did their comedy of horrors better with V is for Vampire later in the season.  (**1/2 out of four)  

F TROOP airs at 9 A.M. to 11 A.M. Eastern Time weekdays on The Outlaw Network.

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob's Economy Wave" (1957)

 

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob's Economy Wave" (1957 NBC-TV/ Laurel-McCadden Productions) Original Air Date: April 18, 1957.  Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Lyle Talbot as Paul Fonda, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Lisa Gaye as Collette Dubois, Maxine Gates as Maxine, Ralph Dumke as Leo the Butcher, General Clarence Shoop as Himself.  Written by Paul Henning, Shirl Gordon, Phil Shuken and Dick Wesson.  Directed by Bob Cummings.

Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB/BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide at this link.

Bob's Economy Wave is an annual occurrence after income taxes are paid each year (note the air date), so let the cost cutting begin.  Challenged to do a better job with the food budget than Margaret is already doing, Bob baffles the family by bringing home what appears to be $100 worth of meat after exiting with a double sawbuck.

Well, $94.50 worth of meat to be exact; a phone call from Leo the Butcher reveals that Bob bartered his studio time ($100 value) photographing Leo's daughter Maxine in exchange for months of prime beef.  Not wanting to give up on his original belt-tightening point, Bob enters into an agreement (overseen by Schultzy) that he will join the rest of them in sticking to a set "allowance"--a contract that may not make it 24 hours once Collette reminds him of their big date that evening.  And speaking of big dates, Maxine arrives for her studio time and proves to be a literal eyeful.

Bobby boy is in full fledged stinker mode from fade-in to fade-out in Bob's Economy Wave.  After the attempted subterfuge on his fair exchange fails he schemes to: fake Margaret out of their agreement with a phony phone call; paint the town rouge with Collette on Fonda's dime; and finally, shift that date with her to steak Chez Moi (by faking a cold).  

"The man of iron is about to be melted, how you say, down?"

Each new ruse blows up in his face, and the faked call creates a bigger misunderstanding by giving Bob a second date that evening--one he'd never set up for himself knowingly.  Bob succeeds surprisingly often during this episode guide--when he does crash and burn it is usually due to his own hubris (Bob Batches It) which often brings the same height of humor we got when BILKO overplayed a hand.  The new wrinkle in Bob's Economy Wave is that our boy never knowingly two times Collette--it really is a misunderstanding.  Bob's deadly sin this time is pride in his thrift.

"Did you photograph her?"

"With a wide angle lens..."

And, boy, is this a collapse worthy of the 21st century Miami Dolphins in December.  When the music stops Margaret is dressed up and going out with Paul Fonda, but Collette's date for the evening is the very married General Shoop (his real life wife Julie Bishop is name dropped, so no hanky panky Shoopy!), and despite her fuming once she learns of Bob's (inadvertent, this time!) "two timing" she is thrilled to learn that Clarence is fluent in her native language.  Bob?  His date for the evening is the very eager Maxine, who keeps turning the lights out on him when they're alone and looking at "shy" Collins like he's one of those steaks on the stove. 

"When Bob says he'll get a girl like that (snaps fingers) he means like that!"

Bob's Economy Wave may not offer many love lessons, but it does offer a historical lesson on the barter system.  One could use it as Bob does here to fly under the I.R.S.' radar in the Eisenhower Era.  It took another 25 years before Uncle Sam really got wise to it, with the Fiscal Responsibility Act of 1982 taking this loophole away.  It seems like everyone wins financially: Leo the Butcher is ecstatic with his side of the deal.  Hey, if daughter's happy, momma must be happy too.  Bob's ultimate victory is open to debate, but at least he has yet to cave on his three way family contest at fade-out.

Ease up there Shoopy, Julie Bishop is waiting when you get home

"Parlez vous Francais?"

"Well, not enough!" 

Bob may not be having much mirth onscreen when all is said and done, but the star obviously enjoyed directing this door slammer.  Particularly the second act, which only leaves the maison for two calls.  Suffice to say that the phone was consistently our playboy's undoing, whether the calls were incoming or not.   I guess saving money by getting rid of it is out of the question though.

Maxine Gates was likely best known for her trio of Three Stooges shorts and brought her comedic timing back to LOVE THAT BOB in similar fashion for Bob, the Matchmaker.  This was Ralph Dumke's only appearance here, but he was familiar to McCadden Productions as Mr. MacAfee in a quartet of BURNS AND ALLEN episodes.  In its ninety-third episode overall, LOVE THAT BOB is past its halfway point but solidly in its prime, with its best team of writers (IMO) and director on a roll.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Bob blocked himself with his zeal to prove his superior management of the family purse strings in the view of yours truly.  However, the final blow is delivered by "that wolf" Paul Fonda himself, who gleefully informs Collette of Bob's "other date".  The end result was a definite downgrade in his evening's plans.  To be fair, we all know Collette will be back and resuming her rivalry with Shirley Swanson in the future, but as for the present.....

DID BOB SCORE?

With Collette, an emphatic Hell no, and I'll bet old Shoopy could have if not happily married from the looks of things.  But home plate is still available to Bobby Boy if he desires.  He has the house to himself with his consolation prize, and from the looks of things he's going to need that steak dinner, since he'll be calorically depleted from running or being caught.  Possibly both.

Lisa Gaye fresh out of the bubble bath.  You're welcome.

THE BOTTOM LINE: 

After viewing this episode and the riotous Bob and Automation it feels safe to say that Mr. Collins should just lay off the austerity plans for his fam.  In that instance the end result was a swing and a miss with Millie Davis; here, it costs him what seems to be a certain score with Collette DuBois.  Those draconian income tax rates from days of yore would be mined at deadline time a year later in Bob Retrenches, but this episode has higher stakes (Lisa Gaye, gents!) and with them higher comedic peaks, outdated fat shaming be damned.  (***1/2 out of four) 

Bob's Economy Wave was originally viewed on another YouTube account; while my original source for this episode is gone, there is this colorized version still up on YouTube so you can check the episode out for yourself: