Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa" (1956)

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa" (CBS-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions 1956)  Original Air Date: October 4, 1956.  Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins and Grandpa Josh Collins, Rosemary de Camp as Margaret MacDonald, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Zsa Zsa Gabor as herself, Lurene Tuttle as Dixie Yates, Paul Frees as the announcer, Bill Baldwin as Desk Clerk, Trudy Wroe as the Beauty Queen, Jim Salisbury as The Muscle Man.  Written by Shirl Gordon, Paul Henning and Phil Shuken.  Directed by Rod Amateau.

INTRODUCTION to the LOVE THAT BOB/THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide at this link.

To the amazement of his family, Bob Collins turns down an opportunity to fly back home to Joplin and judge the five finalists in the Miss Schifferdecker Park contest.   The astonishment subsides when Schultzy spills the beans on Bob's real reason: a chance to photograph (and of course, romance) the former Miss Hungary, Zsa Zsa Gabor.  

"All right you finalists, I'm ready--so show me what you got there!"

To take his place, Bobby Boy persuades Joplin's own pioneering photographer, Joshua W. Collins.  The winner already has a lifeguard fiancee, but Grandpa's girlfriend Dixie Yates--winner of the same pageant fifty years earlier--is still troubled.  She takes the opportunity to remind Grandpa that she's been waiting a half century for his proposal, and mistakenly thinks she has it.  Grandpa's "engagement" results in a bigger misunderstanding on the West Coast--Margaret not only thinks it is real, but that it is to the newly crowned Miss Schifferdecker Park!

Detractors dismissing Bob Collins as an old lecher can prepare to eat a little crow when viewing Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa.   Don't worry, our playboy is still horny--but he's bypassing five hotties young enough to be his daughter and directing seductive lines at the more glamourous and age appropriate Zsa Zsa Gabor.  For her part, Ms. Gabor (at the time freshly divorced from third hubby George Sanders) looks alluring and seems allured by Hollywood's hottest photographer. 

Bob's eschewing of the nubile lovelies is only the beginning of a third season opener than repeatedly emphasizes the value of maturity.  Grandpa ultimately travels to California with the 1906 Miss Schifferdecker Park instead of one of the reigning contenders.  The current titleholder's real fiance is a muscular bodyguard her own age who--despite being twenty years younger and ripped--appears to get the worst of a brief scuffle with fortyish but fit Bob.  Finally, Grandpa Collins gets the titular opportunity with Ms. Gabor that Bob lost in his trip to Missouri--and promptly knocks it out of the park judging by Zsa Zsa's reaction.  Forget "age before beauty": in Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa they are one and the same.

ZSA ZSA: "Missouri?  Is that the state where they show me?"

BOB: "I don't think there's anything they could show you!"

Much of the fun in Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa comes from watching our hero charm the titular beauty via telephone--Gabor gives as good as she gets (some clever dialogue throughout this season premiere) and makes one wish for a sequel in which this clash of the titans could be consummated, so to speak.  Alas, the title doesn't belie and this would be Gabor's lone LOVE THAT BOB.  Too bad, since the verbal volleys really deliver.

The premise of Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa was almost certainly inspired by one of the star's real life adventures in 1954.  Cummings Sr. was asked to co-judge a beauty contest but had a scheduling conflict, sending the seven year old junior Cummings to replace him as a gag.  Bob Jr. selected Trudy Wroe as his choice, and the aspiring actress ended up playing a model on LOVE THAT BOB's first episode, Calling Doctor Baxter.

Perhaps apropos of an episode with so much telephone action, Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa boasts two legendary voice actors in its supporting cast.  48 year old Lurene Tuttle transforms via makeup to play seventy-ish Dixie Yates, returning for Bob Buys a Plane the following week. Animation legend Paul Frees (Bob Becomes a Genius) returns to the series as the television announcer bringing us Grandpa's moment in the limelight.

This third season opener was the series sendoff for Emmy nominated director Amateau (THE SENIORS), whose stellar second season work brought him a promotion to producer/director for the final two seasons of BURNS AND ALLEN.  Amateau's association with the Burns family continued beyond that series; he married George and Gracie's daughter Sandra in 1959. Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa was also the final LOVE THAT BOB for beauty queen Wroe, who left acting in 1959 to marry fellow thespian Don Durant.

And yes, like so many other references to Cummings' hometown of Joplin, Schifferdecker Park is real, the result of Charles Schifferdecker's 30 acre grant to the city in 1913.  It has changed addresses a few times, but is still in existence some 65 years after the city's favorite son gave it a spotlight on national television.   It apparently didn't exist yet in 1906, so either Dixie has the year of her triumph wrong or was having a senior moment.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Bob has only his grandfather's confusing explanation to Chuck keeping him from his Hungarian beauty.

DID BOB SCORE?

Not onscreen, but he does appear to be set up better than ever with Zsa Zsa if he can just get back from Joplin before she leaves the studio.  In keeping with this episode's theme, though, Grandpa gets kisses from beauty queens spanning the decades and countries (lest we forget, Ms. Gabor was Miss Hungary 1936) while The King comes up empty.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

"When they get together, could I sell tickets!"  Schultzy isn't wrong.  An attention getting season opener chock full of witty lines, Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa sends Amateau off on a high note and kicks off arguably the show's finest batch of episodes.  Some of the misunderstandings are a bit strained--a girl's best friend is not a dog, it's diamonds!  (Come on Grandpa!)  But for the most part, the dialogue really scores.  (*** out of four)

Courtesy of The Allison Hayes Channel on YouTube, here's Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa for your viewing pleasure (you'll have to go to YouTube to watch it though): 

 

F TROOP Fridays: "Play, Gypsy, Play" (1966)

F TROOP Fridays: Episode 14







F TROOP: "Play, Gypsy, Play" (1966 ABC-TV/Warner Brothers) Season One, Episode 24: Original Air Date March 1, 1966.  Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Bob Steele as Duffy, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat.  Guest Stars Zsa Zsa Gabor as Marika, Jackie Loughery as Tanya, Angela Korens as Sonya. Lee Meriwether as Lily O'Reilly.  Directed by Gene Reynolds.  Written by Arthur Julian.

This week's F TROOP Fridays entry is in memory of the episode's Special Guest Star: the late Zsa Zsa Gabor, who passed away from a heart attack last Sunday at age 99.  R.I.P.


Captain Parmenter receives word that a wagon has been separated from its train in hostile Indian territory.  Sgt. O'Rourke is ordered to take a four man detail to search for it, leaving Vice President Agarn temporarily in charge of O'Rourke Enterprises.  With added incentive from the new "employee profit-sharing program", Agarn goes to talk business with Wild Eagle and Crazy Cat.

During the ensuing powwow, that missing wagon turns up at the Hekawi camp, carrying three singing Gypsy sisters: Marika, Tanya and Sonya.  Eager to make his mark as acting President, Agarn arranges Fort Courage protection for the Hungarian ladies and negotiates a 50/50 split with leader Marika on sales of souvenirs, palm readings and goulash. 

The Captain soon regrets this decision once Hoffenmueller sports earrings on sentry duty and Dobbs plays Reveille on the mandolin.  Once Parmenter informs him that the ladies have worn out their welcome, Agarn settles up--and finds himself identified by Marika as Prince Igor: the long lost successor to Laszlo, King of Hungary.  Since that's a higher rank than Corporal or Vice President, Agarn is ready to leave the fort behind.  Then Janie receives new information via telegraph indicating the "lost wagon" wasn't lost after all.

What if Corporal Randolph Agarn were running his own business?  Play, Gypsy, Play explores this hypothetical for the first time, and much like a backup quarterback who is exposed after the league gets some tape on him, Randolph gets off to a solid start but can't sustain it. 

For awhile, though, Agarn sure does his due diligence: seeing the possibilities of business with the gypsies, negotiating a fair deal, adeptly getting the Captain's approval and carefully tracking all sales to ensure that shifty Marika doesn't cheat him.  Entering Act Two, it's as if the Sarge never left.  The first crack in the Corporal's armor is his inability to prevent Parmenter from ordering the gravy train to leave, but Agarn nevertheless collects $22 in profits before the policy change.  All in all, we still appear to have a strong depth chart at O'Rourke Enterprises.

And then......

The Corporal unravels, done in not so much by Marika's charm as from his own greed.  The thought of receiving his weight in gold seems to have even more sway than the power of a kingdom ("Mine, you hear?  All mine!") with the marriage to a beautiful Romani girl appearing to be a distant third.  Agarn is so preoccupied with his impending riches, he even lets Parmenter snooker him out of his earnings before Marika can!   If Wilton Parmenter is putting one over on you, well---hey, some guys are VICE President for a reason.

Once her fair complexion and blonde hair is properly lampshaded ("We're from the northern part of Hungary, dahling!"), Zsa Zsa Gabor's Marika proves to be quite a formidable conwoman.  She doesn't even split with her sisters, and both are puzzled at her willingness to accept a 50/50 division with Agarn.  But Marika is thinking ahead, and she ends up having the last laugh, getting away from Fort Courage with her half of the profits intact.  It's the sisters' fourth consecutive success story at a military outpost.

So, does Zsa Zsa's Marika surpass Lily O'Reilly and happy go lucky widow Hermoine Gooderly as the best female adversary to visit Fort Courage?  Maybe, maybe not.  Despite her success here, it's undeniable that facing the second stringer made her task far easier.  Since O'Rourke was immune to the charms of the other two, it seems likely the Sarge could have resisted Maygarian wiles also.

Then again, O'Rourke re-emerges in the tag with a "new" line of souvenirs he found on his travels that had already saturated the Fort Courage market in his absence.  Better hope for some tourists who have yet to encounter that nomadic wagon, Sergeant!

Forrest Tucker has barely a minute of screen time in Play, Gypsy, Play.  The reason for Tuck's extremely limited participation?  Filming took place during the Bing Crosby Pro-Am at Pebble Beach (January 20-23, 1966), a tournament that the longtime Lakeside member (and 1947 Frank Borzage champ) had his own furlough approved for.  (Trivia: Texan Don Massengale was the winner, his first PGA title.)

L to R: Angela Korens, Jackie Loughery, Zsa Zsa Gabor

Speaking of champions, two former beauty pageant winners are visiting Fort Courage this segment, with glamorous Miss Hungary of 1936 Gabor overshadowing 1952 Miss USA Jackie Loughery.  Play, Gypsy, Play was Loughery's penultimate performance: after a 1969 guest appearance on MARCUS WELBY, M.D. she retired from the screen.  Ms. Loughery only has a few lines here: for much more of her (she turns 87 next April), check out these two appearances of hers on LOVE THAT BOB).  Third sister Sonya is played by Hungarian immigrant Angela Korens, who also appeared on TEMPLE HOUSTON and I SPY during her brief acting career in the mid-1960's.  

THINGS YOU LEARNED:

The Tuwatsi tribe is a neighbor to the Hekawis.  "Always dancing" per Chief Wild Eagle.  Despite that annoyance I'd assume they are better neighbors than the Shugs.

Agarn weighs a svelte 155 lbs., but has been up to 200 before.

Continuing to demonstrate that he is a talented musician, Dobbs sounds pretty good on the mandolin.  So Private Dobbs can effectively play the flute, drums and mandolin--just not the bugle.

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

Agarn earned about two months' pay in just a few days under the profit-sharing plan before it all slipped away from him. 

WISE OLD HEKAWI SAYING?

Not this time, all of the wisdom is Hungarian.  And plentiful, since Marika ends up doing 28 palm readings that we know of.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH TREASON:

Zero, partly because he was barely around.   In fact, this entry was largely free of violations, though we did temporarily face the prospect of war with Hungary over the release of Prince Agarn/Igor from the U.S. Army.

PC OR NOT PC?

Well....I'll just present this exchange without further comment:

MARIKA: Chief, dahling, you want your palm read?
WILD EAGLE: (looking at it) It already is.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

I guess I could nitpick and point out that the immigration of Hungarian Slovak Gypsies to the United States didn't start until about 20 years after the Civil War, but why bother?  Play, Gypsy, Play is a very amusing and sometimes surprising look at Randolph in charge, with Zsa Zsa Gabor's larger than life persona fitting in perfectly for a Fort Courage visit.  Arthur Julian's sharp dialogue helps Storch and Berry a great deal as they capably shoulder the comedic load in Forrest Tucker's absence.   (***1/2 out of four)