Television Reviews: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob Helps Martha" (1959)/"Bob Helps Von Zell" (1959)

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob Helps Martha" (1959 NBC-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions) Original Air Date: May 26, 1959.  Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Guest Stars: Elena Verdugo as Rosita Ballestero, Rose Marie as Martha Randolph, Harry Von Zell as himself.  Written by Paul Henning and Dick Wesson.  Directed by Bob Cummings. 

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob Helps Von Zell" (1959 NBC-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions) Original Air Date: June 2, 1959.  Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Guest Stars: Elena Verdugo as Rosita Ballestero, Rose Marie as Martha Randolph, Harry Von Zell as himself, George Burns as himself.  Written by Paul Henning and Dick Wesson.  Directed by Bob Cummings. 

Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB/THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide and overview of the series is at this link.

Schultzy's friend Martha Randolph has 'borrowed' the Spanish costume from Bob's studio without the Boss' knowledge, and had a chance meeting with a television star while wearing it--GEORGE BURNS SHOW announcer Harry Von Zell.  Von Zell thinks he's really met a Senorita, and plumber's secretary Martha tells a teeny white lie to lead him on.  Namely, that she is one of Bob's models.  Unfortunately, Martha can't continue the ruse because Bob needs the costume to photograph the much more culturally appropriate professional model Rosita Ballestero for an ad campaign.

Rosita is also much sexier (no offense, Martha) and much, much more jealous and hot tempered.  Despite Schultzy's warning that Rosita won't take the gig without a little romance from Bob, our playboy is willing (even eager) to do whatever it takes to get the job done.  What a pro!

But you know what they say about the best laid plans (or plans to get laid--however you look at it).  Von Zell drops by Bob's office, hoping to see the Senorita Bonita sans mask and veil.  Naturally Rosita is confused with Martha by the snooping Harry and sometimes it's better to be lucky than good, as Harry ends up with Rosita as his evening's date after the smoke clears.  Martha is angered and Bob is none too happy either but plots to put things back in place before the night even gets young. 

"You mean he traded me like a sack of flour???"

A Paul Fonda (or even a Bill Lear for that matter) wouldn't have been so innocent in creating the misunderstanding with Rosita, but the fictionalized Von Zell of the BURNS AND ALLEN universe is certainly clueless enough to seem unintentional.  For sure, "turned you over to me" should have been offensive enough wording to shoot both Von Zell and Collins down in Rosita's eyes and Von Zell doubles down: "I got you for nothing!"

"She is a doll, you are a dog, and he is my new sweetheart!"

Yep, ignorance is bliss, and Von Zell doesn't even realize he's being used by Rosita to get back at Bob.  The first half of this Henning/Wesson two parter has an amusing springboard that builds for a while as the action moves back to the Collins household as our playboy attempts to get the right puzzle pieces in place for the evening: Bob with Rosita and Harry back to Martha.  Lucking into outkicking his coverage doesn't give Harry a clue: he arrives for his date dressed like a mariachi guitarist.  (At least Von Zell does have a musical background.)  Bob knows how to play to one's strengths, and he gets Martha and Harry together by surmising that the way to Von Zell's heart is through his stomach.  

"Between the flippin', flatterin' and flamenco-in', I'm too pooped to park!"

In the star studded (and gimmicky) final season, Elena Verdugo made three appearances in all, with these episodes following Bob and the Ravishing Realtor.  She was Bob's special guest star for a reason, hot off PANAMA SAL and her own long running CBS series MEET MILLIE.  Verdugo as Bob's latest model was a real coup, but it's too bad her material wasn't better; the earlier segment was marred by improbable silliness better suited to less sophisticated sitcoms, and this two parter really seems padded out--particularly in its second half hour.

As a standalone, though, Bob Helps Martha has its moments, with the confusion at the Collins studio providing the best laughs.  The slapstickier Act II at the home front suffers in comparison--as game as Cummings is with the physical humor, Martha's inedible pizza is one more fifth season setpiece that doesn't live up to the standards of the show's prime.  Second part Bob Helps Von Zell shifts the focus to the playboy's effort to get Harry to make his moves on Martha, but unfortunately has fewer laughs and more obvious padding.  Even the planned payoff of George Burns' guest appearance (stealing Schultzy away to replace Gracie!) doesn't really deliver.  Both episodes are thankfully sans Tammy Marihugh (a.k.a. this series' Cousin Oliver) but have the other problems we frequently see in 1959 LOVE THAT BOB segments: an overreliance on meta guest stars, all-too-conventional situations and Dwayne Hickman's M.I.A. status.  Wesson and Henning still have some verbal wit in them but the end is in sight.  (Bob Helps Martha: **1/2 out of four; Bob Helps Von Zell: ** out of four).

DID BOB SCORE?

How we really know LOVE THAT BOB is nearing the end, just five episodes from it: Collins' aforementioned line about being too pooped to park.  With Elena Verdugo????  Dude....Lothario is losin' it.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Von Zell, inadvertently, though Bob loses interest after removing the unwitting obstacle.  What show is this again?  (The fictional Von Zell of the BURNS universe was single, but the real Von Zell had been married to wife Minerva for 34 years(!) at this point, and remained so until his death in 1981.)

END OF AN ERA:

For McCadden Productions for sure.  LOVE THAT BOB was nearing the finish line and THE GEORGE BURNS SHOW had already aired the final installment of its one and only season a month earlier.  Burns was making his second appearance of this season (Bob Butters Beck, Beck Butters Better was the other) but all the crossovers didn't help Burns and Von Zell keep their show going sans Gracie Allen.  

If you'd like to watch this two parter for yourself, here it is, courtesy the YouTube channel of yours truly:

Television Review: GET CHRISTIE LOVE!: "A Few Excess People" (1975)

GET CHRISTIE LOVE! "A Few Excess People" (ABC-TV/Universal 1975) Season One, Episode 21: Original Air Date: March 26, 1975.  Starring Teresa Graves as Detective Christie Love, Jack Kelly as Captain Arthur Ryan, Michael Pataki as Sergeant Pete Gallagher, Dennis Rucker as Detective Belmont.  Guest stars: Phil Silvers as Uncle Harry Phenergan, Rose Marie as Mitzi Trousedale, Robert Donner as Bernie Karp, Bob Random as Willie Beamon, Val Bisoglio as Joe Thurston, Herbert Jefferson Jr. as Louis Turner, Troy Melton as Security Guard.  Written by Peter Allan Fields.  Directed by Bruce Kessler. 

Unwilling to be put out to pasture, Gallagher's Uncle Harry has bolted the Sunset Retirement Home in Newark to travel cross-county and see his nephew.  First problem--Harry thinks he's visiting Captain Gallagher of the LAPD.  Second problem: Detective Love and Sergeant Gallagher are the closest to respond to a warehouse alarm--with Harry as a passenger, giving the elder civilian a chance to elbow his way into a dangerous case.  Not something that is going to ingratiate him to the real Captain--Ryan.

While many prefer Murder on High C, which reunited Teresa Graves with several of her LAUGH-IN co-stars, I think the brief, gimmicky Glen Larson Era reached its comedic apex with A Few Excess People.  As fun as it was to see Arte Johnson driving the action in the former, we get the King of Chutzpah himself this time around, and Silvers doesn't disappoint.  Did he ever?

Long time freelancer Fields got his start on THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. and obviously did his homework, making sure to give the guest star plenty of Bilkoesque material.  Uncle Harry seizes credit for a license plate number from a fast-thinking security guard, takes over the real Captain's office (first inadvertently, then advertently), bluffs information out of seedy Karp and flatters Rose Marie's department store clerk out of her car (twice) and into a date.  For starters.  

It's all wonderful fun whenever Silvers is onscreen, and neither Fields nor director Kessler (RIPTIDE) can be accused of not utilizing him to the fullest.  Unfortunately, the writer goes a little overboard when Uncle Harry steps further into peril than seems logical by going to the robber's hideaway alone.  Not only out of character in terms of what would seem an acceptable level of risk to Harry, but also defeating what seems to be Harry's primary motivation up until then (even more than proving himself)--assisting the young Sergeant in reaching his full potential in the ranks.  Gallagher can't get any credit if he's not there, right?

Speaking of our Sarge, at least he isn't blurting out important case secrets on live TV this time.  It's still readily evident to us if not to his proud Uncle why he Pete is stuck in the ranks.  And while it was often lost after the mid-season tonal change, David Wolper's original intent for the series is subtly on display.  Harry waxes eloquent on his nephew's progressive qualities as a Captain, but only in reference to Christie's gender--her race goes unmentioned.  (That was usually the case on Silvers' own show, too, a rare 1950's sitcom to consistently cast African-American actors.)

Silvers' dominance usurps center stage from our star, something that became a problem more than once after Larson brought more contrivances to the show.  Christie Love again loses her maverick cop status, being reprimanded only for indulging her elder with nary an undercover assignment in sight.  Our star is reduced to constantly reacting to Mr. Phenergan's antics along with everyone else. 

But hey, Silvers was one of a kind, and is especially amusing when he's onscreen with Rose Marie, who makes the most of her scenes and gets the titular dialogue verbalizing Harry's need to prove he isn't ready to be discarded by society.  That certainly had to resonate with Silvers, who first saw a still-popular BILKO cancelled and then saw his prime time appearances getting scarcer in his middle sixties after failing to land another hit.  In fact, A Few Excess People is probably his lengthiest and most enjoyable prime time appearance in the years following his 1972 stroke.   Seeing one of the medium's comedic geniuses in fine form is well worth our star ceding the spotlight on this one occasion.

ONE LUMP OR MORE?

Louis Turner is the only one who gets sugared, when he is incredulous to find out Love is "the Man".

MISSED OPPORTUNITY:

Too bad we couldn't fit a poker game into the plot.  Who wouldn't want to see Bart Maverick heads up against Sergeant Bilko?

THE BOTTOM LINE:

As far as the Larson installments go, A Few Excess People mixes a worthy message with  sometimes wobbly execution in its second half.  Still, the police work doesn't suffer as much as it had in other high concept segments, and Silvers was capable of turning any appearance into a pseudo-PHIL SILVERS SHOW no matter the series.  It's a unique blend here for sure, predictably with far more laughs than usual and a case that holds up a bit longer than you might have predicted.  (**1/2 out of four)

Courtesy of the YouTube channel of yours truly, here's A FEW EXCESS PEOPLE : 

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob Retrenches" (1958)

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob Retrenches" (1958 Laurel-McCadden Productions/NBC) Original Air Date: April 8, 1958.  Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Charles Lane as S. J. Jollison, Rose Marie as Bertha, Pattie Chapman as Gertrude, Dorothy Johnson as The Model.  Written by Paul Henning, Shirl Gordon and Dick Wesson.  Directed by Bob Cummings.


Series overview for LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW at this link:


It's initially a cause for celebration when Bob Collins Photography posts its most successful year to date, beating the past year's gross income by $7426.80.  ($64,467.76 in today's dollars, btw.)  Bob generously gives Schultzy extra money to treat her friends to the day's coffee break, tells nephew Chuck to treat himself to a new wardrobe using a charge card, and prepares to pay his 1957 income tax in one lump.

Bob's trip to pay the taxman ends the party, as the net income is a different story and turns out to be insufficient to satisfy the amount levied by the I.R.S.  Every single expense now warrants Bob's closest scrutiny, from "flowers for gardener" (which turns out to be Bob's attempt to woo Ava Gardner) all the way down to that diamond needle for Chuck's record player.

In an effort to make up for lost income, coffee is no longer free and Chuck is sent out to collect on past due accounts.  But why stop there....?  Schultzy adds an idea of her own as Bob sets out to persuade I.R.S. Agent Jollison that those so-called "dates" are actually business expenditures: just research and development (of new models) which should be deductible, right?

I don't think he's buyin' it, Bob...

LOVE THAT BOB mines more conventional turf than usual in this outing (hasn't every long-running sitcom lead been questioned by the Internal Revenue Service at some point?) with the financial problems created by prosperity taking center stage over our leading man's nocturnal pursuits.  It quickly turns Bob the swingin' single into a veritable square with accounting on the brain.  Not that combining business and pleasure is completely discounted: 1955 Miss Oregon Dorothy Johnson makes her series' debut, credited as "The Model" Bob is interviewing.  While her fate is undetermined at the fade-out, she was obviously hired since Johnson became a semi-regular during the following season as model Harriet Wyle.

Dorothy Johnson at right with our loverboy

Johnson wasn't the only semi-regular-to-be making her bow in Bob Retrenches. This was also the first episode for Rose Marie, who would join the cast during the 1958-59 season as Schultzy's close confidant Martha Randolph.  As is the case with Johnson, same character/different name: she's called "Bertha" in the credits.  Whatever the moniker, Schultzy's buddy joins her in thinking that Bob is the cat's meow.  Just like the photographer's subjects and apparently most of the females in the building judging from the turnout for Schultzy's afternoon coffee break festivities (the best sight gag, expertly timed).



Charles Lane and Rose Marie

Ubiquitous (368 IMDb credits!) TV sourpuss Charles Lane is put to good use as--what else?--I.R.S. agent Jollison, whose humorously terse conversation with Bob is a comic highlight.  Lane and Marie add considerable oomph to a script that was slightly below par for the 1957-58 season.  There's a number of smiles throughout but few belly laughs, and the concept of charging admission to watch The Master in action had been handled better in the superior Bob Gives S.R.O. Performance only a month earlier.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

With money on the brain for everyone, Bob faced no resistance to his efforts to romance his prospective new model.  Hell, even Schultzy was encouraging him here, since The Show proved to be profitable!

DID BOB SCORE?

Our playboy lays one on Ms. Johnson during her audition, so he seemed on his way.  However, Jollison's ill-timed office call landed Bob in the clink for fraud at the fadeout, so in the end I'd have to say no.  (At least, he probably didn't want to score there.)  Though he did give Schultzy a noticeably longer kiss than usual earlier, when things appeared successful......

Not a bad episode by any means, just unexceptional.  A significant number of smiles, though; this one only suffers in comparison to howlers like Bob Gives S.R.O. Performance and Bob Goes Bird Watching that had aired recently.  The gags may not be gut-busters but they go down easy enough.  Cummings the director has another inspired moment near the end with his presentation of the high-demand "performance and coffee", but there's fewer of those from him and the writers than we've become accustomed to in Bob Retrenches.   (**1/2 out of four)

Film Review: DON'T WORRY, WE'LL THINK OF A TITLE (1966)

Welcome to The Horn Section's contribution to The Dick Van Dyke Show blog-a-thon, celebrating the show's 50th Anniversary today and hosted by Ivan Shreve's Thrilling Days of Yesteryear.  If you haven't checked out Mr. Shreve's blog yet, by all means do so--he offers an incredible wealth of information on classic film, television and radio.  I could single out examples, but it would make this intro to the post prohibitively lengthy, so just check out Thrilling Days at your convenience and you'll see what I mean.


And now, without further ado, our feature presentation, which also serves as the latest edition of......

"Why the Hell isn't this on DVD yet?"-- Number 66

DON'T WORRY, WE'LL THINK OF A TITLE (1966 United Artists) Starring Morey Amsterdam, Rose Marie, Richard Deacon, Jack Heller, Carmen Phillips, Henry Corden, Michael Ford, January Jones (no, not that one).  Directed by Harmon Jones.

Amsterdam, Marie and Jones work together in Deacon's diner, which is under surveillance by Soviet spies who are convinced that a "traitor" cosmonaut is hiding out there, since the defector is Amsterdam's doppelganger.  After Deacon is on the receiving end of slapstick incompetence on his birthday, he fires all three employees, and they move on to work at a bookstore Jones has inherited.  The foreign operatives trail them--and counterspies, robbers and beatniks end up tagging along as the communists attempt to apprehend Amsterdam for "Mr. Big" Heller.

Mr. Big!

I first became acquainted with THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW in daily syndication as a child of the '70's.  From the beginning, my favorite character was Buddy Sorrell, Rob Petrie's slightly sardonic, constantly wisecracking co-worker that Carl Reiner loosely based on his long-time collaborator Mel Brooks. Reiner cast Morey Amsterdam as Sorrell, and the character subsequently lived up to the veteran comic's real-life nickname, "The Human Joke Machine".

A skilled cellist and songwriter whose credits included "Why Oh Why Did I Ever Leave Wyoming" and "Rum and Coca-Cola", Amsterdam was also a standup comedian, author and frequent host on radio and TV.  He was ubiquitous in the latter medium's infancy, starring in his own self-titled series (on Dumont) and for a time hosting NBC's earliest version of THE TONIGHT SHOW, BROADWAY OPEN HOUSE.  At the time that VAN DYKE began its five-year run, Amsterdam was coming off his first dramatic feature role in MURDER, INC.  During the show's run, he further boosted his silver screen profile with the recurring role of Cappy in the A.I.P. BEACH PARTY films and recorded several comedy LP's.

These projects had given Amsterdam (then in his mid-50's) his greatest visibility to date, and during the hiatus preceding VAN DYKE's fifth and final season in 1965, the comic furthered his reputation as a jack of all trades by adding producer and screenwriter to his resume with DON'T WORRY, WE'LL THINK OF A TITLE.   The very first thing we see is the caricature of the star from his early TV ads:

Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore didn't join Amsterdam on his summer vacation, but Rose Marie and Richard Deacon signed on as co-stars and Carl Reiner joined much of TV Land in contributing a cameo.  We've all seen the usual results when the supporting players from a legendary TV classic get together to put on a show without the leads--think SANFORD ARMS or AFTERMASH, only this time on the big screen and for three times the running length.  I'd love to tell you that ever-likable renaissance man Amsterdam bucked the "second banana curse" and triumphed in yet another field with an undiscovered cinematic treasure, but I can't.  There's no way to sugarcoat it:  DON'T WORRY, WE'LL THINK OF A TITLE is very poorly written and executed.

Not finding much to laugh about, eh?

A spy spoof ("James Bond" even voice-cameos via phone) by way of vaudeville wasn't a bad idea when DON'T WORRY was filmed in the summer of '65, and few people could rival Amsterdam's encyclopedic recall of jokes--his nightclub act was centered around it.  Henny Youngman and perhaps Milton Berle (who cameos here) would have been the only people in the same ballpark.  Unfortunately Amsterdam filled his screenplay to the brim with the oldest ones he knew.  Literally.  They had to be:

"I was up all night trying to get my window open."
"There's no window in that room!"
"No wonder I couldn't get it open."

"Why are you pulling that piece of rope?"
"Y'ever try pushing one?"

Amsterdam's film ended up delayed for over a year and barely released in 1966 after VAN DYKE had ended its run.  By then GET SMART! had spoofed the genre definitively for the target audience, even beating DON'T WORRY to the punchline of "Mr. Big" being played by a little person (Heller in this film, Michael Dunn in SMART!).  Too bad, because the screenplay needed a surprise or two.

Maybe if I throw in a Tom Swiftie.....

Amsterdam, Marie and Deacon all take the opportunity to break the fourth wall.  Repeatedly in Marie's case, and Deacon lets us know that he realizes he was playing a different role earlier in the picture.  If Amsterdam was striving for a HELLZAPOPPIN' feel, he didn't succeed in making his film anywhere close to zany enough.  If he was attempting a straight spy spoof, he didn't have the budget or collaborators.  Harmon Jones had never directed a comedy before (unless GORILLA AT LARGE counts); January Jones (related to the director?) is "introduced" with a key role, but exhibits no comic timing or acting ability and even appears uncomfortable on camera.  With maybe four sets to work with and a distinct lack of any espionage staples to tweak, DON'T WORRY has the look and feel of a lazy home movie, coming across like Morey Amsterdam and friends dabbling in movie making instead of having a truly inspired idea for a motion picture.

While it may not be funny or well-made, it is a veritable treasure chest of celebrity cameos.  The production costs may not have allowed for any elaborate action or comedy setpieces, but lots of recognizable names and faces were willing to join in on the fun.  For example, Moe Howard, who unfortunately didn't bring Larry or Curley-Joe with him:

I can't poke him in the eyes!  He's wearing glasses!

Irene Ryan (THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES) borrowed the Clampett truckster from Jethro to give our two leads a lift.  Milton Berle (probably paying Morey back for a stolen joke) got the hoary aforementioned "rope" gag.  Danny Thomas ordered a meal at the diner and Steve Allen dropped by the bookstore.  Cliff Arquette joined his HOLLYWOOD SQUARES co-panelists, with no lines and two seconds of screen time, but distinctively playing Charley Weaver.

And, just to show you how persuasive Morey Amsterdam was back in the day, he even convinced The Greatest Actor Who Ever Lived to donate about a half hour of his time:

Mack Tuck!

Everything including the kitchen sink is thrown in, but to no avail: DON'T WORRY, WE'LL THINK OF A TITLE was barely a blip at the box office in 1966 and would be Amsterdam's only feature production credit and only screenplay.  He, Marie and Deacon went back to television, where they all remained welcome guest stars and game show panelists, with regular gigs on MATCH GAME, HOLLYWOOD SQUARES and THE MOTHERS-IN-LAW respectively.

So.....why isn't this on DVD yet?

It more or less vanished after barely being released in 1966, and never even received a VHS release. Until well into the 2000's few had even heard of it.  But TCM dusted it off a years ago, Netflix Instant added it in 2010 and now----MGM Archives has it available for pre-order.  So....on October 11th, according to this link--it will be!

Why it should be on DVD:

It might not be a good movie, but it is a genuine artifact of its television era, and it does give three beloved character actors a moment in the spotlight.  I'd say it's a must for DICK VAN DYKE SHOW fans to see at least once and any fan of 1960's television will probably find it worth a look as well.

As mentioned above, DON'T WORRY, WE'LL THINK OF A TITLE is available on Netflix Instant if you'd like to give it a look before shelling out the $19.95.