F TROOP Fridays: "Here Comes the Tribe" (1965)

 F TROOP Fridays: Number 27

F TROOP: "Here Comes the Tribe" (1965 ABC-TV/Warner Brothers) Season One, Episode 15.  Original Air Date: December 21, 1965.  Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Joe Brooks as Vanderbilt, Bob Steele as Duffy.  Guest Stars: Laurie Sibbald as Silver Dove, Makee K. Blaisdell as War Cloud, J. Pat O'Malley as Medicine Man, Jeff Lerner as Brave.  Written by Ed James and Seaman Jacobs.  Directed by Charles R. Rondeau.

While picking up the latest batch of booze for the saloon, O'Rourke and Agarn witness the kidnapping of Wild Eagle's daughter Silver Dove.  The abductor: young Shug War Cloud, who asked the Chief for Silver's hand in marriage and was rebuffed.  We all know the Hekawi are lovers, not fighters.  Knowing that and needing to keep his 50/50 partner happy, the Sarge convinces Captain Parmenter that a rescue will further strengthen the troop's treaty with their "ferocious" native neighbors.

"Shug warrior not good enough to lace moccasin of Hekawi maiden!"

Inspired by his reading of The Last of the Mohicans, Parmenter attempts the rescue via infiltration using only his non-coms.  But Silver Dove has a surprise: she isn't there against her will, and initially refuses to leave the Shug camp.  Nevertheless, her father's wish wins out and she is returned home, safe and sound.  But now O'Rourke has a bigger problem: Hekawi tradition dictates that Silver Dove must marry her liberator--the Captain.

Wild Eagle's business sense is undeniably shrewd, but the Chief has an Achilles heel with his reluctance to let Hekawi customs slide when (also the case in A Gift From the Chief) the Medicine Man prods him to observe them.  Series newcomers Al Gordon and Hal Goldman contributed that middling exploration, but with Here Comes the Tribe, F TROOP co-creators Ed James and Seaman Jacobs come up with an analysis far richer in comic possibilities.

"Why you think we make paleface blood brother?  U.S. cavalry always comes to the rescue!"

In fact, Wild Eagle might be playing 4-D chess (as he would the following week in Iron Horse Go Home).  Think about it: having the Scourge of the West as son-in-law offers far greater protection than the current arrangement with O'Rourke, and might well result in a renegotiation of that 50/50 pact with O'Rourke Enterprises.  After all, who has more to lose from the Captain finding out: the non-coms or the Hekawi?  Mind you, I'm just mulling possibilities--O'Rourke is the only one to mention the business ramifications of the arranged marriage:

"If the Captain marries Silver Dove, we might as well turn honest!"

In Here Comes the Tribe we meet Wild Eagle's daughter Silver Dove, a third child after Bald Eagle and Boy Deer.  Those sons from a prior union are severed from the tribe, but Silver Dove remains Hekawi (at least, until the end of Act Two) and her mother is still Mrs. Wild Eagle.  We know Wild Eagle's opinion of suitor War Cloud (that of the Mrs. remains a mystery) but despite disliking his daughter's choice, she remains in better standing than her brothers--Wild Eagle goes outside the family for his Chief-in-waiting, opting for Crazy Cat.

As for O'Rourke, he's clearly back from his mini-slump.  After Professor Clyde and Lily O'Reilly showed us cracks in the armor on consecutive weeks, the Sarge deftly handles the crises as they come at him furiously here.  He may indeed be a little old to be playing Indian, but he does it successfully--twice.  And doesn't even have to walk on his knees the second time, thanks to that wild horse!  

James and Jacobs did let a few groaners like that line through, but they keep the gags coming so rapidly that the clinkers go virtually unnoticed.  It helps that all three principals get superb material.  Parmenter gets to do some delicate balancing of his own, first between Wrangler Jane and Silver Dove and then taking the postponement push over from Agarn when the realization hits him at the Hekawi ceremony.  Hey, we even get a few risque lines from the JJ's--what's not to like?

"I didn't know Indians kissed!  In The Last of the Mohicans, they rubbed noses."

"Well, that's why they were the Last of the Mohicans."   

Laurie Sibbald (The Girl From Philadelphia) returns for arguably the most remembered role of her too-brief acting career.  The ballerina prodigy was retired from acting barely a year later at 22, but not before also scoring credits on TARZAN, HANK and a regular role as Sammy Jackson's love interest in NO TIME FOR SERGEANTS.  Publicity for that show indicated her indifference to an acting career.  To give an idea of her potential, she was a Deb Star of 1965 alongside Raquel Welch and Barbara Parkins.  Her romantic partner here, Makee Blaisdell (Hondo and the Comancheros) gets his first post-HAWAIIAN EYE credit as War Cloud.

J. Pat O'Malley ends his two segment run filling in for Edward Everett Horton, who departed for the Broadway revival of CAROUSEL and found himself written out as Don Diamond's Crazy Cat took over as Wild Eagle's confidant.  One could say that was the final piece of the show's puzzle, but Here Comes the Tribe reveals F TROOP to already be a well-oiled machine fifteen episodes in.

THINGS YOU LEARNED:

The Hekawi translation for "rotgut" is Nashuma Hakanuma

Private Vanderbilt is incapable of distinguishing the flagpole from a horseshoe stake, or turkeys from Indians in the lookout tower, but he can successfully identify Natives inside the fort--he's the first to spot and attack O'Rourke, Agarn and Parmenter in their disguises.

Silver Dove's eclectic kitchen specialties are Dried Otter Rump, Pickled Rattlesnake, and Candied Sumac with Hawk Giblets.

HOW'S BUSINESS FOR O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

O'Rourke Enterprises faces a more insidious threat this time, and it is much more diversified than we realized.  The bread and butter might be a tourist trap and saloon, but the Sarge also owns a laundry, a hotel, and a real estate office on Boot Hill.  Having a town full of heavy drinkers is gold.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON:

Captain Parmenter was saved from an arranged marriage by the consortion with the Shugs, so I think he'd let the Sarge slide this time.  Manual or no manual.

WISE OLD HEKAWI SAYING?  

"When field mouse see shadow, time to string beads."  Makes more sense than most even if Wild Eagle doesn't know the meaning.

"If I wise old Indian, would I have him for Medicine Man?"  This straightforward question is answered soon enough, as Here Comes the Tribe would be the character's swan song.

The big news, though, is that Captain Parmenter has a wise old cavalry saying: "There are two sides to every rock and it takes all kinds of Indians to make the west."  

PC OR NOT PC?

Agarn seems far more frightened by the "flashy quack" who 86's the wedding once and for all than the supposedly superstitious natives.  On the other hand, there's this exchange between the Sarge and the Chief:

O'ROURKE: "You can't make the Captain get married, he's not a redskin!"

WILD EAGLE: "Him pinkskin, that close enough."

THE BOTTOM LINE:

The mojo is strong with both O'Rourke and F TROOP; not many pratfalls, but superb verbal and visual humor without them.  Lots of Enterprises intrigue for the second week in a row, but a far more grounded situation this time--at least, for F TROOP.  Some of Agarn's finest moments as he valiantly tries to stall a wedding that only Wild Eagle really wants, and enough gags for everyone to get in on.  The first season kicks into high gear with an installment that, on reappraisal, is the show's finest to date.  (**** out of four)

BONUS: F TROOP 1965, RANKED:

With Here Comes the Tribe, I've now reappraised all 16 segments from 1965:

1. Here Comes the Tribe (****)

2. The 86 Proof Spring (****)

3. Don't Look Now, One of Our Cannon is Missing (***1/2)

4. The Scourge of the West (***1/2)

5. Iron Horse Go Home (***1/2)

6. Old Ironpants (***1/2)

7. The Phantom Major (***1/2)

8. Honest Injun (***1/2)

9. Me Big Heap Injun (***)

10. Dirge for the Scourge (***)

11. O'Rourke vs. O'Reilly (***)

12. The Girl From Philadelphia (***)

13.  The Return of Bald Eagle (**1/2)

14. A Gift From the Chief (**1/2)

15. Corporal Agarn's Farewell to the Troops (**)

16. She's Just a Build in a Girdled Cage (*1/2)

F TROOP currently airs on Circle TV Network 

F TROOP Fridays: "Honest Injun" (1965)

F TROOP Fridays: Number 26  







F TROOP: "Honest Injun" (1965 ABC-TV/Warner Brothers) Season One, Episode 12.  Original Air Date: November 30, 1965.  Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Bob Steele as Private Duffy, Joe Brooks as Private Vanderbilt.  Guest Stars: John Dehner as Professor Cornelius Clyde, Lou Wills as Running Bull.  Written by Ed James and Seaman Jacobs.  Directed by Charles R. Rondeau.

The latest juicer for Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke's eponymous Enterprises?  A gold strike sparked by just $75 in nuggets by salting Calico Mountain, "12 miles north by northeast of Fort Courage".  Unfortunately for the Sarge, Professor Cornelius Clyde witnesses the plant and beats O'Rourke to the punch.  Moving the bullion to Laramie, Clyde steals the Gold Rush, sells out of land claims (and "magic elixir"), and renders the Sergeant's saloon as deserted as the rest of the Fort.  O'Rourke threatens the confidence man with the clink, only to back down once the Professor counters with the threat of exposing the Sarge's own subterfuge.

The Professor is allowed to depart hastily with his ill-gotten gains, but after looking up the land plots and determining the supposed Pazo land sold is located in Yellowstone Park, even Captain Parmenter realizes his men have been had.  The CO sends his non-coms out to locate the swindler.  Too bad Clyde's blackmail material severely limits any motivation O'Rourke and Agarn have for the Professor's capture.  Needing to lay low for a few days, the troopers head for the Hekawi camp--and promptly learn that Professor Clyde has beaten them there, too.

Sergeant O'Rourke collides with TV's reigning guest conman and unsurprisingly finds his most formidable challenger to date.  MAVERICK veteran John Dehner (Shady Deal at Sunny Acres, Greenbacks Unlimited) is in fine form as the oily Professor Clyde, slyly guaranteeing "14 Karat solid gold" (i.e., 58% pure!) on each and every parcel of land.  And oh so generously throwing in three bottles of Running Bull's Magic Elixir, which keeps Clyde's native sidekick ("the last of the Pazo Indians") looking remarkably youthful for his claimed 122 years of age.

Just how daunting is Clyde?  He's the rare adversary to make O'Rourke lose his cool, once the Sarge finds that the Professor has elbowed his way into a deal with Wild Eagle that threatens the Enterprises' key partnership.   Agarn has even more trouble with the pesky Running Bull, and for once it really does look like the end of the line for the 50/50 partnership.

Key to it all is Dehner, keeping the troopers enthralled with that resonant voice as he relieves them all of their solvency.  It is a bit jarring to see him without his mustache, and if you're wondering why, well, the Professor's final ruse likely explains the need to be clean shaven.  Forsaking his signature facial hair for one half-hour role would be typical John Dehner--full commitment to the part was always a given.

With James, Jacobs and Rondeau as the creative team F TROOP gets his mojo back after two lackluster outings with Honest Injun.  It isn't quite perfect--Chief Wild Eagle seems far more gullible than one would think possible--but to be fair, we all want to live to be 143 years old, right?  Jane's coincidentally timed spying on the Hekawi camp is another eye opener: suffice to say it's a good thing she isn't there to overhear other powwows.

O'Rourke eventually seizes a small window of opportunity with that uncanny ability to think on his feet, restoring both his whiskey supply and his customers.  A commendable correction after Clyde has seemingly had the upper hand throughout, but does it last?  It's a shame we never got a return match.  Short of Phil Silvers himself making an appearance, you just couldn't get a better opposing force for one Sergeant Morgan Sylvester O'Rourke.  

THINGS YOU LEARNED:

This segment had to have taken place after 1872, the year Yellowstone Park officially opened.

An educated guess on this one: wise old Wild Eagle is 40 years old, based on his new life expectancy on the 103 years Running Bull allowed himself with that "magic elixir".  (SIDE NOTE: I'd rather hear from 147 year old Flaming Arrow myself.)

In addition to being competent on the drum (O'Rourke vs. O'Reilly) and flute (That's Show Biz), Dobbs shows decent aptitude on bagpipes and tries out the violin as well.  Hell, as a multi-instrumentalist he puts even Richie Cunningham to shame!  Too bad that bugle is outside his limitations.

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

Pretty bad throughout, with the durashun of that gold strike taking up most of Honest Injun.  Then, just when the status quo becomes king again, a new discovery near Cheyenne by the titular Chief Thunderbird empties the saloon--and town--a second time.

WHERE THE HELL IS FORT COURAGE ANYWAY?

Nagging question that deserves its own comment.  The location gets a little fuzzier in Honest Injun.  I assume that Calico Mountain is no relation to the Calicos in California, but the gold strikes in Laramie and Cheyenne and plots sold in Yellowstone Park clearly suggest Wyoming.  It's a Hell of a lot further away from Dodge City than other segments suggest, at least this week.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH TREASON?

There's other charges he could have faced, starting with fraud, but the Sergeant is safe from any suspicion of aiding and abetting the enemy thanks to Wild Eagle's reluctance to reveal their deal to Clyde.

PC, OR NOT PC?

Uh, what's this episode's title?

THE BOTTOM LINE:

After a mini-slump with two consecutive installments by first-time writers that were way too conventional, F TROOP gets its edge back with this riotous, double-cross packed entry from series creators James and Jacobs.  Watching Forrest Tucker and John Dehner go at it makes for one highly entertaining half-hour and the one-upmanship doesn't end until the fade-out.  (***1/2 out of four)

F TROOP currently airs on Circle TV Network.

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob Meets Fonda's Sister" (1955)

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob Meets Fonda's Sister" (1955 CBS-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions) Original Air Date: October 6, 1955.  Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Charmaine "Schultzy" Schultz, Lyle Talbot as Paul Fonda, Diane Jergens as Francine Williams, Lola Albright as Kay Michaels.  Written by Paul Henning and Bill Manhoff.  Directed by Rod Amateau.

Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB/THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide at this link.

Margaret is fit to be tied after Brother Bob blocks her daytime beach date with Paul Fonda, the latest interference in his sister's love life under the guise of protecting her from the "wolf".  Fonda wonders what would happen if the shoe were on the other foot and enlists beautiful starlet Kay Michaels to pose as his sibling.

And so an "accidental" meeting is set up outside Bob's studio in which Kay sprains her ankle, allowing the Wolf of wall snapshots to play doctor inside.  And, he hopes, doing it that night as well.  Little does our Air Reserve Colonel know that he's walking right into Fonda's trap--which will be sprung inside the Collins household!

Lyle Talbot's sixth appearance as Paul Fonda sees Bob's old WWII comrade finding a way to fight back against those "Wolf" accusations.  After insisting (to no avail) that he's changed (in future episodes, we learn that's debatable), he cooks up a hilarious scheme to give Bob a taste of his own overprotective medicine.  In the process, Bob Meets Fonda's Sister introduces Kay Michaels for a four-segment arc as the newest object of the Playboy shutterbug's desire.  

Michaels turns out to be more than just that, though--the aspiring movie starlet becomes the strongest contender to date to get Collins to the altar.  One can see that extra "oomph" in Bob's efforts to woo her, and all that experience in the cockpit pays off--he stays silk smooth all the way up to Fonda's shotgun search.  For her part, Kay Michaels plays her part in the plot perfectly.  Is it any wonder she ends up breaking into pictures?  Method or not, the instant mutual interest is palpable: there's no condescension when she plays hard to get.

For his part, Bob lives up to his reputation, making nary a wrong move pre-date at home or the office.  Kay continually moves up the intervention time once she gets a whiff of Bob's cologne.  Speaking of, Moustache (yes, it was around way back in 1955!) gets one Hell of a plug here, with Ms. Michaels' full approval followed by Margaret's, and finally Francine's--Uncle Bob's fragrance choice even helps young Chuck onto a smooth movie date.  

Ultimately, LOVE THAT BOB is its subversive self once again in the end.  Bob's comeuppance?  That date with Kay, starting circa 10:00 P.M., with no interference at all from any of the usual suspects.  If Fonda was trying to teach Bob a lesson, fixing him up with a gorgeous aspiring actress/model might not be the most punishing lesson, you'd think.  Oh, and if it was 4-D chess to get our loverboy married off, that didn't work either.  Too bad, Paul.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Bob--blocking Margaret, again.  Worry not, she would soon be paying her brother back in episodes to come.  Bob had little resistance in wooing Ms. Michaels--at least, in this installment.  Schultzy is surprisingly subdued in the office, letting the entire Collins sales pitch proceed and only calling him to work when Kay is gone.  Pining for the Boss but not aggressively---yet.

DID BOB SCORE?

With Kay?  Eventually, I'm sure.  Hell, she almost got a proposal eventually.  He was well on his way around the basepaths throughout Bob Meets Fonda's Sister, with unimpeded progress before and after being the butt of Paul's joke.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Lola Albright's popularity on the series kept her recurring for the next two seasons; Kay Michaels was her signature TV role before PETER GUNN came along.  Her chemistry with Cummings stayed strong through seven appearances in all, through Bob Calls Kay's Bluff.  As always, Talbot is a fine foil, and the clever Henning-Manhoff script is one controlled, consistent burn throughout.  Unfortunately, the denouement fizzles slightly, with the theatrics muting the payoff and Bob (as usual) not really getting that much of a comeuppance.  Still, Bob Meets Fonda's Sister provides more than enough hilarity to overcome a wobbly conclusion.  (*** out of four)

Bob Meets Fonda's Sister is available through Shokus Video on LOVE THAT BOB Volume IX.