The Horn Section Salutes: Jack Klugman (1922-2012)

We've had Blue Christmases in the fairly recent past, losing Dean Martin and Butterfly McQueen in 1995 and Eartha Kitt in 2008.  Sadly, 2012 joined this list, getting a lot less merry with the news that the Big Q himself, Jack Klugman, shuffled off this mortal coil at age 90.

Naturally, it's QUINCY, M.E. that we revere him for, and despite my terminal laziness we have managed a number of episode reviews from the show's final seasons.  Always keep in mind, we kid because we love and there's certainly more of The Big Q coming to The Horn Section.  Klugman's brilliant work recently returned to Netflix Instant, this time with the legendary "Next Stop, Nowhere!" included.

There was a lot more to remember him for, including four classic TWILIGHT ZONE episodes ("A Passage for Trumpet" was my personal favorite), THE ODD COUPLE (wasn't that easy for actors to score back to back TV winners back in the day, but Jack did it), and of course, TWELVE ANGRY MEN (1957, with the also legendary Jack Warden).  Sadly, Mr. Klugman was the last of the angry men standing from that classic.

Everybody loved this guy!

R.I.P. Mr. Klugman.  As always, more to come.

Film Review: TOUGH GUYS (1986)

"Why the Hell isn't this on DVD yet?" -- Number 86







TOUGH GUYS (1986 Touchstone) Starring Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas, Charles Durning, Alexis Smith, Dana Carvey, Eli Wallach, Darlanne Fluegel, Billy Barty.  Directed by Jeff Kanew.


Lancaster and Douglas are the masterminds of "America's last train robbery", finally paroled after finishing a 30 year sentence.  Lancaster is over the state's mandatory retirement age and starstruck parole officer Carvey has a nursing home residency lined up for him.  Douglas, not yet seventy, goes back to work and "dresses like Bozo the Clown tryin' to fit in", scoring a date with aerobics instructor Fluegel in the process.  Deciding they just aren't cut out for going straight or being put out to pasture, they choose to rob the still running train from their youth and "do it right this time"--unaware that cop Durning has had them under surveillance, expecting them to do just that.

Veteran tough guys grayed the action genre frequently in 1986.  Charles Bronson (MURPHY'S LAW) and Lee Marvin (THE DELTA FORCE) still got their names above the title, and even Forrest Tucker headlined a last hurrah (THUNDER RUN).  But despite the title and advertising proclaiming it "the action comedy of the Fall", TOUGH GUYS is weighted much more heavily towards the latter half of that equation.

Not that the leads aren't game for he-man feats.  In fact, the biggest problem is that Lancaster and Douglas are never seriously challenged.  Whether the two unarmed senior citizens are subduing gun-wielding bank robbers or punching out half a dozen gang members with knives, they dispatch all opposition with less difficulty than the young Steven Seagal.   Proving he's an equal opportunity ass kicker, Douglas also finishes Durning off with a single punch.

If beating up men old enough to be their grandsons (with nary a scratch in return) isn't enough for you, Douglas picks up the twentyish Fluegel at the gym within minutes of his arrival (she just gives him her number after a single joke) and makes love to her that same night.  Charles Bronson got more resistance from Deborah Raffin in DEATH WISH 3.  Then again, even Mr. Kersey didn't dare to show off his bare chest at 71 like Douglas does.  Hell, he's pumping iron in his cell in the opening scene.

What's this Electric Boogaloo you speak of?

Witnessing the oldsters pulling off one superhuman feat after another, you can't help but wonder how they got caught in the first place.  Or how that prison managed to hold them for thirty years.  The two stars amiably stroll through it all, which undermines the poignancy Kamen was obviously aiming for by opening the film with Kenny Rogers' "They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To" (which was nominated for a Golden Globe).

When Lancaster badgers Jake Steinfeld for "real food" he could just as easily be talking to screenwriters James Orr and Jim Cruickshank.  TOUGH GUYS' biggest flaw is that lack of tension.  It's a buddy comedy without any witty banter or sense of competition between its heavyweight stars, which is a real shame because both certainly seem game for challenging material.  Douglas is in remarkable shape for his age and gets the bigger (if far more obvious) chuckles with his crash courses in Eighties fashion and slam dancing (to the Red Hot Chili Peppers!).  For his part, Lancaster gets a more age appropriate romance with Smith as he longs to do something productive.

GOING IN STYLE (1979) covered much of the same territory with more resonance and bigger laughs.  That film compensated for its plotholes with touching humor driven by the characters' vulnerabilities and a slow-developing caper to go with the charm of its venerable stars.  By comparison, TOUGH GUYS never rises above the level of agreeable time filler, coasting on the chemistry between the two leads in their seventh and final screen collaboration.  Eli Wallach provides strong support, stealing several scenes as a nearsighted hit man with pride in his work that is undiminished by the passing of three decades.

So....why isn't this on DVD yet?  (In the U.S.A.)

TOUGH GUYS isn't exactly a must-see, and it isn't exactly rare either.  It's available at Amazon Instant, on Region 2 DVD, and at YouTube.  But curiously, it still lacks an official DVD release in the U.S.  Strange, given the always viable drawing power of Lancaster and Douglas (both among AFI's top 20 male stars of all time) and the selling point of their final collaboration.

Why it should be on DVD (In the U.S.A.):

Wallach (97), Douglas (96) and Durning (89) are all still with us more than a quarter century later.  DVD commentary, anyone?  The film also has a Red Hot Chili Peppers song that is otherwise unavailable ("Set it Straight").

Film Review: ALWAYS LEAVE THEM LAUGHING (1949)

"Why the Hell isn't this on DVD yet?" -- Number 85





ALWAYS LEAVE THEM LAUGHING (1949 Warner Brothers) Starring Milton Berle, Virginia Mayo, Ruth Roman, Bert Lahr, Lloyd Gough, Grace Hayes, Jerome Cowan, Alan Hale Sr.  Directed by Roy Del Ruth.


Agent Gough attempts to discourage an aspiring young comic by telling him client Berle's story.  Berle is a brash, energetic comic whose ambition leads him to hog the stage and steal the material of others.  While Gough struggles to get Berle better bookings, the comedian takes a shine to Roman and tries to resurrect her parents' (Hale and Hayes) old vaudeville act.  Given a shot as a single, Berle drops the act, lying to Roman in the process ("it's a lead!").  He is shown the error of his ways by veteran comic Lahr and gets a lesson in opportunism from Lahr's wife Mayo.  Is it too late to patch things up with Roman, the sweet girl he left behind?

In Berle's sole attempt to transfer his wild TEXACO STAR THEATRE success to the big screen during his TV peak, the comedian had considerable creative control--few performers in any medium were hotter in 1949.  The end result?  Uncle Miltie is in almost every scene and he turns ALWAYS LEAVE THEM LAUGHING into a fascinating rebuttal to his detractors, the columnists and fellow performers who nicknamed him the "Thief of Badgags".  The LAUGHING Berle acknowledges that he once used the jokes of others out of insecurity, but only became a success after he rejected that approach and developed his own original act.  Joke theft, he maintains, had nothing to do with him attaining "Mr. Television" status: if anything, it was a hindrance and kept him from breaking through sooner.

The old school routines are made to order for longtime hoofers Berle and Lahr, and the underrated Roman never looked (or danced) better.  A little of Uncle Miltie can sometimes go a long way, which is why he was most effective in well directed ensembles like IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD and WHO'S MINDING THE MINT?  To be fair, Berle's hammy moments onstage can be forgiven as befitting this character.  He's less convincing in dramatic moments offstage, nowhere near as nuanced as he'd become later when he received good reviews for serious turns in LEPKE (1975) and THE OSCAR (1966).  In the latter, Berle probably gave the only performance that was well reviewed!

When you're the Skipper's dad, you can get two chicks at once!  Take THAT, Berle!!!

ALWAYS LEAVE THEM LAUGHING is a tad long at 116 minutes, and the film didn't leave much of an impression at the box office in late 1949.  Berle went back to being television's first superstar; it would be fourteen years until his next feature (the aforementioned MAD MAD WORLD) and he never again received top billing on the big screen.  For that reason alone ALWAYS LEAVE THEM LAUGHING is worth a look, and with Lahr and Berle onstage frequently the film is packed with moments to watch for if you're a vaudeville fan.  Mayo and Roman both hold their own onstage with the comics, Wally Vernon plays himself, and if you watch closely, you'll see Sid Melton and Mary Castle (both uncredited).

So.....why isn't this on DVD yet?

Warners pretty much buried it for a long time after its box office failure, and it isn't helped by the inclusion of about a minute of blackface during an Al Jolson parody (Berle is booed offstage, at least).  Mercifully, it's brief, and I realize this is told in flashback, but still...in a 1949 film?

Why it should be on DVD:

Some classic vaudeville chestnuts, and your one chance to see Milton Berle carrying a film.  Ruth Roman (STRANGERS ON A TRAIN, THE BABY) never looked more ravishing.  For some reason, Warner Archive hasn't gotten around to ALWAYS LEAVE THEM LAUGHING yet, but one would hope it happens eventually.  For now, it occasionally turns up on TCM.