Film Review: NIGHT OF THE COBRA WOMAN (1972)

"Why the Hell isn't this on DVD yet?" -- Number 92


CAMP CLASSIC EDITION!




NIGHT OF THE COBRA WOMAN (1972 New World) Starring Joy Bang, Marlene Clark, Roger Garrett, Vic Diaz, Rosemarie Gil, Slash Marks, Vic Silayan.  Directed and Written by Andrew Meyer.

During World War II, Nurse Clark and a colleague are searching for herbs to use as remedies in a cave in the Philippines.  Clark is bitten by a distinctively marked cobra and forms a deep, symbiotic bond with the cobra that keeps her from aging over the next thirty years.  Bang arrives at that time to assist zoologist Silayan in venom research, bringing along boyfriend Garrett and his pet eagle(!) Dirk.  Sultry Clark makes Garrett her latest mate, causing him to age rapidly and motivating Bang to step up the research to save him.

Meyer, directing his second (and last) feature, also wrote and produced NIGHT OF THE COBRA WOMAN and acted in a small role.  Too many hats, no doubt.  He especially could have used help with the script.  Not only is the dialogue laughable, but Meyer isn't even able to sustain consistency of character or situation from one sentence to the next.  Consider the following exchange between Bang and Silayan (delivered very flatly and breathlessly by Bang) while a poor monkey bears the brunt of their research:

I'm a serious researcher.  See the glasses?

BANG: Can't we give her the venom right away Doctor?  I can't stand looking at her like this any more!
SILAYAN: I want to watch how much further her condition develops.  Listen, I got a meeting in the main building.  Will you stay and watch her?
BANG: Sure!  Is it all right if I run out and get some lunch?  I'll be right back.
SILAYAN: Okay.

It would take a terrific actress to make this work, and Bang ain't it.  She looks pretty inviting in one early scene in bed---

---presumably about to masturbate while she gazes longingly at a picture of Garrett.

But outside of this kinda-sexy interlude she is completely wooden in the rest of the flick, even when frustrated, "strenously objecting" (like the exchange above) or attempting to project fear or danger.

He's who all the fuss is over, ladies!

Beanpole Garrett also lacks screen presence, which makes the "love triangle" implausible.  Yeah, I know, Clark needs a steady supply of young men to keep the venom flowing, but it appears there's plenty of them right there in the Philippines for her.  Even if Garrett is "exotic" to her, he comes across as far short of studly.  Watching NIGHT OF THE COBRA WOMAN makes it obvious why neither Bang nor Garrett had a lengthy career onscreen.

Also unclear is how lethal Clark's venom is.  It is fatal for the young Filipino men she lures into her bed, but strangely didn't kill Diaz (who is introduced to us as a rapist in the opening scene) or Garrett.  While Diaz ended up pathetically deformed, he didn't pledge his undying love like Garrett and the other conquests.  In fact, he wants revenge.  Does the effect depend on her feelings?  Theirs?  The toxin dose?  Is the length of copulation a factor?  Just some of the many things Meyer fails to clarify.

In all the confusion, the saving grace is Marlene Clark, who singlehandedly provides the vavavoom factor by getting naked frequently and also spending a considerable amount of time in her underwear.

Usually a very reliable actress, Clark is surprisingly as stiff as her co-stars much of the time.  Yes, she's supposed to be reserved after her transformation, but her delivery is just as leaden in the scene before she experiences love at first bite.  Give her props, though.  She's burdened with the bulk of the exposition, shows commitment to the absurd material, and is damned stunning even when she's shedding her skin (which happens after each tryst, apparently).  Clark also generates a few unintentional giggles of her own during a "fight to the death" between her cobra and Garrett's falcon.  Fortunately, she received a much better opportunity in the horror genre with the following year's GANJA AND HESS, one she seized impressively.

So...why isn't this on DVD?

Delivers less than it promises and is sloppily made even for an exploitation flick.  For all the jollies everyone gets at Joy Bang's screen name, her work in NIGHT OF THE COBRA WOMAN makes you understand that it wasn't her moniker that kept her from becoming a leading lady.

Is it gratuitous to show a second pic from this scene?  I didn't think so either.

Why it should be on DVD:

Bad movie fans will still find some laughs, just not as many as they will find in other, better (worse?) camp classics.  It is certainly a must for Marlene Clark fans and she is always a welcome presence, clothed or not.  NIGHT OF THE COBRA WOMAN is now streaming at Netflix Instant and has recently been airing on Epix Drive-In channel as well.

Film Review: MAKING IT (1971)

 



"Why the Hell isn't this on DVD yet?" -- Number 91






MAKING IT (1971 20th Century Fox) Starring Kristoffer Tabori, Joyce Van Patten, Marlyn Mason, Dick Van Patten, Bob Babalan, Carol Arthur, Denny Miller, Lawrence Pressman, Louise Latham, Sherry Miles, John Fiedler.  Directed by John Erman.

At seventeen, high schooler Tabori manages to juggle a relationship with virginal classmate Miles and an affair with thirtyish Mason (wife of wrestling coach Miller).  Tabori lives with his divorced mother Joyce, who's hoping to woo potential meal ticket Dick Van Patten (her real life brother, in unusual casting) away from his wife.  When reality starts to turn conquests into consequences, Tabori's swagger starts to stagger.  Will it be replaced by a permanently life-altering event, or newfound maturity?

A smoothly made feature from the much-heralded TV director Erman (ROOTS, AN EARLY FROST), MAKING IT holds up better than most of the generation gap comedies that followed in the wake of THE GRADUATE.  In fact, MAKING IT (actually more of a dramedy) mentioned that film on its poster ("the most meaningful film about growing up since..."), but here stud Tabori reverses Dustin Hoffman's character arc in the 1967 landmark, going from cocksure to uncertain as MAKING IT progresses.  Well, at least he's cocksure on the surface.  Like a duck, Tabori puts up a good front while he frequently hints at the child paddling underneath this worldly know-it-all (who says he's "smarter than 99 percent of the people I meet").

Erman coaxes fine, natural performances out of the performers from both generations, with Babalan (as Tabori's sexually deprived, wiseass friend) and Pressman (as the cool English teacher who sees through Tabori's facade) especially good. The latter pretty much speaks for the audience when he tells Tabori that "I can't tell if you're just a cynic, or a parasite".  Neither can we.  For much of the film, his lines and guises walk a fine line, and it's amusing when he dons a fake mustache and shades to pick up college girls and sneak into nudie bars.  But he goes too far when he's lacing Miles' shrimp with drugs and later, manipulating her mother Latham in an attempt to avoid responsibility for his actions.

Erman and screenwriter Peter Bart (yep, the future VARIETY editor) pull no punches in resolving the dual storylines for mother and son, and their relationship is interestingly presented throughout.  MAKING IT also provides an educational look at attitudes on then-illegal abortion in the years immediately preceding Roe v. Wade.  (Also look for something you'll never see in a doctor's office today during preparations for the procedure.)

A relic of its era?  Sure, in many ways, but MAKING IT is also an effective and still worthwhile sleeper.  In addition to showcasing some underappreciated talents (like Tabori, the son of director Don Siegel and actress Viveca Lindfors), the filmmakers avoid the pretentiousness that sunk several of the era's films about the generation gap. 

So....why isn't this on DVD?

It was never even released on VHS, and I'm really not sure why MAKING IT slipped into semi-obscurity.  It's racy without being very raunchy, and it isn't like teenage boys with thirty year old women was out of line in the 1971 film world (witness the must-see PRETTY MAIDS ALL IN A ROW).  Does the casting of the Van Patten siblings as lovers cause some discomfort?

Why it should be on DVD:

Those who liked the numerous coming of age films with a male protagonist of the 1980's are likely to find much to like in this slightly different entry from the previous decade.  MAKING IT doesn't skimp on the humor or nudity and remains engaging even when its protagonist teeters on the edge of arrogance.  Worth DVR'ing next time it airs on Fox Movie Channel.

Film Review: THE WARRIORS a.k.a. THE DARK AVENGER (1955)

 


"Why the Hell isn't this on DVD yet?" -- Number 90





THE WARRIORS a.k.a. THE DARK AVENGER (1955 Allied Artists/20th Century Fox) Starring Errol Flynn, Joanne Dru, Peter Finch, Christopher Lee, Michael Hordern, Yvonne Furneaux, Patrick Holt, Rupert Davies, Patrick McGoohan.  Directed by Henry Levin.



Hordern is King Edward III of England and his son Flynn is the Prince of Wales, with the father leaving his son in charge of Aquitaine after leading the English Army to victory there during the Hundred Years' War.  The Finch-led French noblemen outwardly accept a truce, but secretly rebuild, vowing revenge as Flynn eases the tax burden on their former subjects.  After their assassination attempt on Errol fails, the Frenchmen are successful in kidnapping his lady Dru.  The erstwhile Robin Hood is seperated from his army and goes undercover to infiltrate Finch's forces as a precursor to going medieval on 'em to save his intended Princess.

Beautifully photographed but slow developing, THE WARRIORS turned out to be Flynn's swan song as a swashbuckler.  Forty-six at the time, Flynn looks long in the tooth for the proceedings and was actually two years older than his film father Hordern (who appeared to be fifty years old for a good quarter century).  You'll see faint echoes of earlier triumphs (i.e. swordplay sharing more than a little choreography with that of ROBIN HOOD) but sadly, Flynn was no longer physically able to handle much of his own fencing.  That's two-time Olympian Raymond Paul doing the bulk of the dueling with the soon-to-be famous Christopher Lee.

This Flynn vehicle's chief asset is a thoroughly impressive supporting cast.  Finch gives an especially vigorous performance, bringing much more energy to the table than Flynn could by 1955.  Basil Rathbone would certainly approve.  Lee, who was uncredited(!), did much of his own fencing and suffered a permanent injury to his pinky finger as a result.  In addition to these stalwarts and the always venerable Hordern, a very young (and like Lee, uncredited) Patrick McGoohan is noticeable among Errol's subordinates.

This actioneer doesn't skimp on the eye candy either.  Dru is beautiful, if uninspired here.  She's actually eclipsed by Yvonne Furneaux (Flynn's THE MASTER OF BALLANTRAE) who catches everyone's eye while she sings a bawdy song at a tavern.  One gets the impression that Flynn might have preferred her to Dru; I'd imagine more than a few viewers did.

While BALLANTRAE would have been a better way for Flynn to bow out of the genre, THE WARRIORS is a pleasing enough popcorn movie once Flynn is left in charge and angers the already perturbed noblemen by respecting the poor.  Errol is going through some very familiar paces but he has some well above average support in doing so.

So....why isn't this on DVD yet?

Flynn's latter day features from his post-Warner Brothers period (1953-59) have been particularly slow to arrive to DVD, and while DARK AVENGER performed well at the U.K. box office, it flopped in North America as THE WARRIORS.

Speaking of the alternate title in the U.S., it certainly doesn't help the film's profile there today to share its name with Walter Hill's 1979 cult classic.

Why it should be on DVD:

Hey, he might be weathered here, but it's still Errol Freaking Flynn in a swashbuckler with handsome production values and a great supporting cast led by Howard Beale himself.  It might not be THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD, but what is?  THE WARRIORS turns up about once a year on Turner Classic Movies.