His Morals Stand Alone

In response to a couple of emails, here's that great first season opening for THE MISADVENTURES OF SHERIFF LOBO.

(Actually, I also added it to the previous post as well, but here it is all alone, just like the Sheriff's morals.)

Move 'em out!

Some DVD love for LOBO, anyone?

"Why am I not on DVD yet?"








THE MISADVENTURES OF SHERIFF LOBO/LOBO (1979-1981 NBC/Universal) Starring Claude Akins, Brian Kerwin, Mills Watson, Cydney Crampton, Leeann Hunley, Nell Carter, Nicolas Coster, Tara Buckman. 60 minutes.

"A man of dreams, who guards our things as if they were his own...."


NBC during the 1978-81 Fred Silverman era was notorious for its fiascoes. Spending millions on SUPERTRAIN. Greenlighting the one hit wonder Pink Lady for a variety series. Importing an Australian sitcom notable only for gratuitous nudity, then putting it on the air sans nudity (NUMBER 96). MRS. COLUMBO. HELLO, LARRY. These are the ill-advised, short-lived train wrecks that populate lists of the “Worst TV series of all time”.

But in what I feel is a case of guilt by association, they are often joined on these lists by THE MISADVENTURES OF SHERIFF LOBO, a pretty funny show (for a while, anyway) that simply doesn't deserve that kind of hate.

Georgia Sheriff Elroy P. Lobo was a corrupt and menacing bad guy when originally on B.J. AND THE BEAR, but when NBC spun him off into his own series in the wake of CBS' success with THE DUKES OF HAZZARD, he became a rascally money-hungry schemer.  This character switch from tough guy to comic (skillfully played by Claude Akins) allowed the producers to combine the chicken fried SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT knockoffs popular at the time with the tried and true conman humor from classic service sitcoms like SGT. BILKO and McHALE’S NAVY.

Like BILKO, Sheriff Lobo was stationed in the middle of nowhere (Orly County, Georgia) and his schemes were usually foiled; he’d typically stumble onto a real crime, and have to solve it---often recovering money which he (of course) didn’t get to keep. Like F TROOP’s Sgt. O’Rourke, Lobo also had a not-too-bright assistant (Mills Watson as Deputy Perkins) providing plenty of pratfalls and misunderstandings (in this case, heavier on the former).  Add in more wrecked police cars in Orly County than in Hazzard (yes, really) and plenty of shapely ladies in cutoffs each week and the result was a show that was usually amusing and easy to take. It was about like DUKES would have been if Roscoe had been the main character and as smart as Boss Hogg.

How the Hell did I end up in Orly, anyway?

Don’t get me wrong.  SHERIFF LOBO is far from a "lost classic". It was outlandish, slapsticky, silly as Hell. There were episodes involving mechanical sharks, UFO's, "Disco Fever", Larry Storch as a hillbilly patriarch and Dean Martin just passin' through Orly.  Still, was LOBO any sillier than the aforementioned DUKES or the "Super Fonz" era HAPPY DAYS? 

Not to mention, did HAPPY DAYS have this frame in the opening credits???

As was the case with all of the above, a solid cast helped LOBO.  Claude Akins seemed to be having the time of his life doing knockabout comedy after 30 years of playing tough guy supporting roles. The Akins/Watson comedy team had good chemistry; not on the level of Hale/Denver or Tucker/Storch, but still funny.  Brian Kerwin provided the ladies with a heartthrob (needed if you’re gonna compete for that DUKES audience, right?).

THE MISADVENTURES OF SHERIFF LOBO was a pretty popular show when it originally aired, despite a daunting Nielsen test for survival: Tuesday nights at 8 ET, up against ABC powerhouses HAPPY DAYS and ANGIE, which were both top 5 shows the prior season. LOBO actually made some inroads, knocking HAPPY DAYS from 4th to 16th and ANGIE from 5th to out of the top 25 altogether. LOBO itself was in the top 30 by early October and entrenched as NBC's highest rated new show by the end of that month.  Eventually LOBO became the first NBC series to get renewed in the killer time slot since 1976 (BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP).

Unfortunately, NBC president Fred Silverman and company couldn’t help but screw almost everything up during their Reign of Error. Interviewed by the New York Times in July 1980, Silverman noted that LOBO rated highly in rural areas but not so well in the urban areas. His solution: change the premise, and move the show to Atlanta!

Great going, Fred.

In the second season opener, the Governor visits Orly County, impressed by the “low crime rate” (actually a result of Lobo’s negligence in filing paperwork). The Guv reassigns Lobo, Perkins and Birdie to the Special Crime Task Force in Atlanta. This could have been an amusing season opener, assuming that he eventually recognized their limitations and that everyone ended up back in Orly after a "very special" hour or two in the big city. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. They were now amongst the city slickers for good.

To make matters even worse, the memorable first season opening featuring Frankie Laine’s hilariously earnest theme song and a 10 police car pileup was changed. In season two, each show opens with a montage of the three leads sightseeing in Atlanta while Ray Charles sings “Georgia on my Mind”. Great to hear Ray, sure, but doesn't really set a unique tone for the proceedings the way Laine's theme song did.

Lobo went from a southern Bilko to a country Clouseau (a path that had been taken on prime time much more frequently before), bumbling his way to solving crimes with get rich quick schemes all but forgotten.

Initially, Silverman looked smart: the season's second new segment came in 18th in the Nielsens (for the week ending January 11, 1981; a writer's strike delayed most 1980-81 premieres).  However, the long-term outcome of this network tinkering was predictable: rural Season One viewers began to tune out, and urban viewers who had no interest in LOBO before continued to ignore it. The once-popular show was cancelled just four months later after two seasons and 37 episodes.

And so, after a few years of sharing a syndication package with B. J. AND THE BEAR, LOBO largely vanished altogether. Meanwhile, all 7 seasons of THE DUKES OF HAZZARD are out on DVD. Episodes of MRS. COLUMBO pop up to tarnish the otherwise excellent COLUMBO season sets. We’ve even seen the complete PINK LADY AND JEFF series released by Rhino!  But no love for LOBO.  No Nick at Nite. No TV Land.  Not a single DVD.

SHERIFF LOBO didn’t even get the ultimate tribute, the porn parody. Hmm....The Muff Adventures of Sheriff Loadblow? Maybe featuring Ron Jeremy as Deputy Poke-ins?

But I digress. THE MISADVENTURES OF SHERIFF LOBO deserves a release of Season One, or at the very least, a single disc "Best of". It’s been ridiculed in print since the day it aired, but I defy anyone to put on a first season installment and not laugh at least a little. It is far from one of TV's all time worst, and after three decades, it's time to stop calling it that.  Put LOBO out in time for the 30th anniversary already---if SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT 3 and STROKER ACE are available, then LOBO damn well ought to be.

“Lobo….Lobo…..bring back Sheriff Lobo.”

----Homer Simpson (in his sleep)

Film Review: SAFE IN HELL (1931)

 


Why the Hell isn't this on DVD yet? -- Number 24





SAFE IN HELL (1931 First National Pictures) Starring Dorothy Mackaill, Nina Mae McKinney, Donald Cook, Ralf Harolde, Clarence Muse, John Wray, Morgan Wallace and Ivan Simpson. Directed by William Wellman.

Forced into prostitution fter a blackballing from former boss Ralf Harolde’s jealous wife, Dorothy Mackaill is horrified to find that Harolde is her next client. She draws the line at servicing the man responsible for her loss of honest work, but Harolde won’t take no for an answer easily. In the process of defending herself and escaping she knocks Harolde unconscious shortly before a fire starts (from his cigarette).  Learning she is about to face charges for murder and arson, Mackaill decides to go on the lam.

Before she can leave Mackaill is surprised by her ex Donald Cook, bearing gifts and a marriage proposal: after months at sea, he’s unaware of her forced change in profession. Faced with a quick decision to make as the police close in, Cook has her stowaway on his next ship assignment. Cook’s idea is to leave her at the first stop, Tortuga, a tiny Caribbean island with swarming insects and brutal heat, but without an extradition treaty with the U.S.  Predictably, this means that she isn’t the only person hiding there, but despite the near-unbearable living conditions she agrees to wait there for Cook’s return--“safe in Hell”. This “safety” is a relative term with an island full of criminals and corrupt law enforcement, and becomes even more so after Harold turns up alive.

As directed by William Wellman (PUBLIC ENEMY), SAFE IN HELL is one of the most downbeat films of the edgy pre-Production Code early thirties. Poor Mackaill is a female Job who simply can't catch a break. Finances press her into selling her body, then into warding off the unwanted attention of countless men while living in exile in a nightmarish atmosphere. Cook is the “one decent man in her life” but even he slaps her when he finds out she’s been hooking in his absence. The mistakes she makes (accepting Wallace’s “help” and weakening to ‘join the party’ one night after weeks of isolation) are only human given the circumstances.

"You can swallow 'em, or strain 'em out--your choice!"

The Tortuga presented here is anything but an island paradise---the heat is scorching.  The air is thick with insects, the drinking water and peanuts both contain worms, and lascivious, unshaven criminals are everywhere. The island isn’t just a figurative Hell, it’s literally “Godless”--- the only minister has been dead for months, and his death has gone completely unnoticed in town.

Twisting the concept of a tropical paradise isn’t the only way Wellman and the writers (Joseph Jackson and Maude Fulton) invert expectations repeatedly.  Our vicious criminals turn out to be honorable, practically harmless, supporting Mackaill after Harolde’s arrival. Meanwhile policeman Wallace is the biggest menace of all. Setting much of SAFE IN HELL outside the U.S. also allowed African-American stars Nina Mae McKinney and Clarence Muse to avoid the stereotypical characters they were having to play in other films.

McKinney isn’t playing a nightclub singer or maid---she’s the hotel manager who befriends Mackaill after finding out their common ground (they’re both from New Orleans, and on the lam).  McKinney was only 19 at the time, but demonstrates undeniable beauty and star quality. She’s also a fantastic singer; she gets at least one song in all of her films, here it’s “Sleepy Time Down South” (which was written by co-star Muse). One can only imagine what Hollywood squandered by not allowing her more opportunities to develop her talent. After SAFE IN HELL McKinney wouldn’t appear in another feature for four years.

Mackaill, a British-born starlet during the 1920’s, was also underutilized in the sound era. In a role originally intended for Barbara Stanwyck, Mackaill is terrific. She takes no guff from anyone, but shows her sensitive side with Cook as well. Their scenes together at the deserted church and at the hotel are surprisingly touching in what is otherwise one of the most relentlessly unsentimental of all films, pre-code or otherwise.

How un-sentimental is SAFE IN HELL?  Even SCARFACE and LITTLE CAESAR gave viewers some comfort: a happy ending in which the murderous protagonists pay for their crimes at the end. Here, Mackaill isn't found guilty of any crime, and her actions are honorable, even courageous.  But she's denied her happy ending anyway. Ultimately, she may be safer in the literal Hell than the figurative one.

So…why isn’t this on DVD?

Director Wellman is really the biggest name here. The film is 77 years old, and as stated above is quite a downer.

Why it should be on DVD:

This would fit in perfectly with the TCM Archives’ FORBIDDEN HOLLYWOOD collection of pre-code classics. Two FORBIDDEN box sets have already been released. SAFE IN HELL even airs on TCM about once a year---all the more reason to get it into Volume 3.

If not in a FORBIDDEN HOLLYWOOD collection, why not a Wellman box set? Either way, SAFE IN HELL is a tough, interesting film that needs greater availability and exposure---it was never even released on VHS to my knowledge in the U.S.

So what if the actors aren’t exactly household names today. Mackaill and McKinney certainly deserve greater notice. They're both very talented, and McKinney was arguably the most beautiful actress of the early 1930’s.  SAFE IN HELL includes one of Mackaill’s best performances, and in fact, your only opportunity to see McKinney in a feature in the years between 1929’s HALLELUJAH! and 1936’s SANDERS OF THE RIVER.

Until we get a DVD release, this one is well worth your DVR space next time TCM trots it out.

Film Review: THE CHICKEN CHRONICLES (1977)

"Why the Hell isn't THIS on DVD yet?" -- Number 23







THE CHICKEN CHRONICLES (1977 Avco Embassy) Starring Steve Guttenberg, Branscombe Richmond, Ed Lauter, Phil Silvers, Lisa Reeves, Meridith Baer, Gino Baffa, Kutee, Will Seltzer. Directed by Frank Simon.


Steve Guttenberg and Branscombe Richmond work at Phil Silvers' fast food joint and smoke a lot of joints in the weeks before their 1969 high school graduation. Guttenberg has a big problem to solve. No, not getting into college and avoiding Vietnm.  Bigger than that.  Although Guttenberg is a popular track star with a cheerleader girlfriend, a seemingly unlimited supply of pot, and the advantage of being in southern California at the start of the freelove era, he's still a virgin.

Hmm. I suppose a slight leap of faith is required here.

Paul Diamond, son of the legendary Billy Wilder collaborator I. A. L., adapted his own novel for his first screenplay, a good example showing the transition teen films were taking circa 1977, from nostalgic AMERICAN GRAFFITI territory into more sex-oriented material (ANIMAL HOUSE was a year away). Because Guttenberg and Branscombe would go on to bigger and better things, their characters are realistically immature and even hot-headed, and there are script elements anticipating the direction coming of age films would take in the years ahead, THE CHICKEN CHRONICLES has a small but devoted following.

Unfortunately Simon’s film isn’t as compelling as GRAFFITI and isn’t nearly as titillating as THE SENIORS or H.O.T.S., stagnating somewhere in between. Later films such as PORKY’S and LOSIN’ IT would provide more laughs and plenty of nudity with the subject matter of losin’ it.

If I had to describe it within the context of another film, it might be most accurate to call it a PG HOLLYWOOD KNIGHTS—Guttenberg’s smartass expression rivals Robert Wuhl’s and there are several pranks on the bluenoses in charge. But even that funfest spent considerable time on more serious subplots (i.e. one character is actually on his way to the war). There’s one serious scene with Kutee being notified of her brother's death in Vietnam, and occasional references to Guttenberg’s alienation from his parents (they communicate almost exclusively via intercom), but very little true angst.

Publicity still with Silvers, Guttenberg and Kutee

There's lousy motivation for some of the pranks here as well. For example, why would you steal the time clock (and risk expulsion and loss of college) for “unlimited hall passes” less than one month before you graduate? Unlimited passes for a year, maybe. But for 4 weeks at most?  Why?

As was often the case with the late 1970’s raunchfests, superb veteran character actors help things out a great deal. Lauter plays his umpteenth authority figure, the Vice Principal, and there’s a rare latter-day appearance by the great Phil Silvers as the shady, lascivious old owner of Chicken on the Run. Essentially, he’s Bilko yet again (even using the old “Good Boy!” line a time or two) only this time, he’s Dirty Old Bilko (i.e. telling Kutee she needs some nookie!).

Sadly, Silvers suffered a stroke in 1972, and the effect on his speech and timing is sometimes noticeable. But whether he’s trying to fraudulently “return” burned chicken to competitor KFC, disguising himself as an Arizona cowboy or longing for the return of actress Dolores Hart, he still provides the best laughs here and reminds us that he was one of a kind.

THE CHICKEN CHRONICLES does have a few grossout gags concerning the handling and preparation of food at “Chicken on the Run” (based loosely on the chain Chicken Delight, where Diamond worked as a teen) and one can see an influence on many of the teen films that would follow. The young actors are appealing. Likely, inexperience was the main culprit for the film’s shortcomings: in addition to being Diamond's first feature, this was Simon's first and last.  Ultimately, THE CHICKEN CHRONICLES is neither titillating enough nor funny enough: merely a late 1970’s curio.


So….why isn’t this on DVD?
 

Made little impression at the box office when released in 1977. In addition to the problems listed above, the film was before its time, about a decade too early for the late 1960’s nostalgia boom.

While Guttenberg would become a big star in the 1980’s with POLICE ACADEMY, COCOON and THREE MEN AND A BABY, he hasn’t been a box office draw since that decade so interest in his early roles isn’t what it was when this received its VHS release (1987, fresh on the heels of the latter).

Why it should be on DVD:


Well, it is Guttenberg’s first lead, and he’s an engaging presence in the role. Branscombe Richmond (RENEGADE) was also at the beginning of his career, and he’s a riot as Guttenberg’s pothead, skirt-chasing pal. Matthew McConaughey's Wooderson had nothing on this guy.

Kutee, again

Kutie is, well, a cutie. Really. A more compelling question would be, why the hell didn’t she make more films? Also, why the hell didn’t Guttenberg chase after her instead of the cheerleader?

Seeing the great Phil Silvers in action, even at less than 100%, is worth it.

To name one example of this film's possible influence: AMERICAN PIE borrowed the main premise, and the pre-graduation timeline...then added the needed laughs and sex to create a film that would stand up to repeated viewings. It's fun to compare CHICKEN CHRONICLES to the films that would follow, if only to wonder what might have been.