F TROOP Fridays: "Dirge for the Scourge" (1965)

F TROOP Fridays: Number 20








F TROOP: "Dirge for the Scourge" (1965 Warner Brothers/ABC-TV) Season One: Episode 6.  Original Air Date: October 19, 1965.  Starring Forrest Tucker as Sgt. Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Joe Brooks as Private Vanderbilt, Bob Steele as Trooper Duffy, Ivan Bell as Dudleson.  Guest Stars: Benny Baker as Pete the Bartender, Harvey Parry as Charlie the Drunk, Jack Elam as Sam Urp.  Written by Ed James and Seaman Jacobs.  Directed by Leslie Goodwins.


Captain Parmenter witnesses the eviction of an already inebriated Charlie from the Fort Courage saloon before lunchtime, then has a clumsy altercation with a man he presumes to be a second drunk.  With a little prodding from family-minded Jane, the Captain resolves to issue a military order closing the saloon.

Changing Wilton's mind is a problem that O'Rourke and Agarn can handle, but the potential loss of their "Great White Pigeon" is a different matter altogether.  Parmenter has unknowingly run afoul of that second "drunk", who happens to be the menacing Sam Urp--self-proclaimed fastest gun in the West.  The ensuing demonstration of his abilities reveals that Urp isn't exaggerating, and he's also ambidextrous. 

Six installments in, we get the first direct threat to O'Rourke's saloon, which would become a frequent target for hostile takeover (O'Rourke Vs. O'Reilly) and closure.  As demonstrated here, the latter menace was by far the easiest to repel with success merely requiring Parmenter's placation.  The transformation into Tinkerbell's Ice Cream Parlor convinces the Captain that "good old Pete" has cleaned the place up, with the ruse being dropped once "the old man" exits.  Sasparillas quickly turn into liquor, which might well make O'Rourke the first man to operate a speakeasy on American soil--the earliest known use of the word here was in 1889.

"There's only room for one Scourge of the West and that's me!"--Sam Urp

The second problem, however is far more worrisome, and not (yet) due to any affection for Parmenter himself.  At this stage protecting their Captain is essential only because breaking in a new C.O. would be a disastrous downgrade for O'Rourke Enterprises.  Agarn still saves his tears for financial tragedies only (i.e. errant cannonballs hitting the merchandise-filled NCO Club in Scourge of the West).

On the surface Dirge for the Scourge innocuous, but it appears that series co-creators James and Jacobs envisioned an edgier show than BILKO had been.  In addition to his concern for the Captain's well-being strictly business, O'Rourke's attempted interventions go beyond physically disabling Urp--kidnapping is just as acceptable as treason.   Yeah, F TROOP was always far slapstickier than BILKO, but the abundance of pratfalls masked a stealthy dollop of cynicism that few sitcoms (even westerns outside of MAVERICK) had demonstrated by 1965.

Fort Courage has a big name visitor for the second week in a row, with history being made in this case: veteran western tough guy Jack Elam makes the very first of what would be numerous sitcom appearances in Dirge for the Scourge.  Elam plays Urp completely straight, his intimidation palpable without exaggeration.  When we first meet Urp, he's scowling and loudly calling for a beer, but he scarcely raises his voice after, needing nothing more than demonstrated pistol prowess and an unnerving smile to intimidate.

JANE: "Oh, Wilton, he's a dead shot!  And this morning you didn't hit a thing!"
PARMENTER: "That's true, but..he's a lot bigger than a bottle."

Elam's measured menace contrasts hilariously with Berry's obliviousness, providing a show not always known for understatement with some of its subtlest laughs of the season.  Within five years, Elam would be predominantly cast in comedic roles, but Dirge for the Scourge is one of his earliest and freshest: no hint of a twinkle in that lazy eye.  Urp is highly formidable with that shootin' iron, but in the words of non-Hekawi Lefty Gomez: it's better to be lucky than good.

Goodwins also keeps a delicate touch with his visual wit.  The lookout tower remains intact for once, with pratfalls mostly avoided outside of Urp's constant struggle with the saloon's swinging doors.  In place of the usual raucousness, we get quieter silliness stemming from Parmenter's losing battle with uniforms (Duffy's, Duddleson's, his own) and the Captain's still shaky marksmanship.  Nevertheless few laughs are lost, if any.

Harvey Parry, a true Hollywood legend

Elam isn't the only noteworthy guest star: veteran stuntman Harvey Parry makes the first of three appearances as Charlie the Drunk.  Sixty-five years old at the time, Parry was still doing his own stunts, gracefully tumbling over a hitching rail and crashing through the saloon window.  (Yes, it's him--it's all done in one continuous shot.)  A genuine Hollywood legend who doubled for Harold Lloyd in SAFETY LAST in 1923, Parry kept at it for another twenty years after his F TROOP stint, completing work on BETTER OFF DEAD and JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY just before his death in 1985 at eighty-five.

Benny Baker makes the first of five appearances as Pete, and Don Diamond is still credited as "Brave" despite being called Crazy Cat in Don't Look Now, One of our Cannon Missing earlier.  F TROOP tied with CBS' GILLIGAN'S ISLAND for 22nd place in the two week Nielsens for the period ending October 24, 1965 (both scoring a 22.0 rating) and led ABC to its only victorious night (Tuesday).  It was the network's second highest rated show behind 15th place BEWITCHED.

Storch and Benny Baker

THING YOU LEARNED:

The perpetually nervous Pete is compensated very handsomely by Fort Courage standards for bartending and the stress of posing as the saloon's owner: $8 a week.  Compare that to the $17 a month that O'Rourke receives from the Army, or the $15 and $8 monthly salaries of Agarn and Dobbs (The Phantom Major).  O'Rourke Enterprises pays well, no doubt.  Speaking of....

HOW IS BUSINESS?

The saloon looks damned busy throughout, ice cream parlor or not.  Still, O'Rourke suffers some property damage from Urp's shooting (the chandelier), the Captain's trickery (a few beer mugs), and the overzealous ejection of town drunk Charlie (the front window), cutting into the profits.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON:

Would Agarn press charges for an accidental kidnapping by the Hekawis?  If not, O'Rourke's in the clear for the second week in a row.

WISE OLD HEKAWI SAYING:

"Beaver cannot fly when horn of young buffalo point at full of moon."  This might well set the bar for the least coherent dose of native wisdom.

PC OR NOT PC?

Little to offend in Dirge for the Scourge.  Nothing derogatory directed at the Hekawi, unless O'Rourke's attempt at a wise old saying gets your dander up.  And, as always Janie proves to be the best marksperson on the show--yes, including Urp.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Thinly plotted but genial entry that isn't as silly as its two predecessors--at least, not until the decisive shot of the showdown.  Elam is an inspired visitor to the F Troop universe, playing Urp to perfection--it's easy to see here why comedy would become his forte in later years.  If Jacobs and James provide a surfeit of chuckles instead of the usual belly laughs this time, you won't complain, and their script is adeptly handled by Goodwins.  Even the laugh track seems subtler than before.  (*** out of four)

Leon Errol Series: HURRY, CHARLIE, HURRY! (1941)

"Why the Hell isn't this on DVD/Blu yet?" -- Number 103








HURRY, CHARLIE, HURRY! (1941 RKO Radio Pictures)  Starring Leon Errol, Mildred Coles, Kenneth Howell, Cecil Cunningham, Noble Johnson, George Watts, Douglas Walton, Renee Godfrey, George McKay.  Directed by Charles E. Roberts.  Screenplay by Paul Gerald Smith; Story by Luke Short.


Introduction to the Leon Errol Salute Series is at this link.


Leon is a business tycoon, albeit one henpecked by his snobbish wife Cunningham.  At least on the surface, that is.  Leon is surreptitiously undermining the efforts of the Mrs. to marry daughter Coles to a boring blue blood by aiding bakery truck driver Howell in his effort to elope with her.  Alas, Leon muffs the effort after much slapstick with his ladder.

To avoid Cunningham's effort to play matchmaker for Coles and stuffy Walton, Leon leaves for a fishing trip to Oklahoma under the ruse of being summoned to the nation's capitol by Vice President McKay to discuss Indian affairs--something Leon unwittingly gets a crash course on during his stay in the Sooner state.  When Chief Poison Arrow's son takes a liking to the bald funnyman, Errol finds himself made a "blood brother".

The honored Errol invites the Chief and his tribesmen to drop in on him "anytime they're back East", thinking the possibility of that is remote.  However anytime occurs two weeks later.  Leon's apparently successful diplomacy inspires the Mrs. to score a social coup by inviting her husband's "close friend" the Vice President to her party with the well-to-do bluenoses--leaving Leon, who's never met the man, on a wild scramble to find an imposter V.P. to appear instead.

HURRY, CHARLIE, HURRY! is a departure from the booze n' broads formula prevalent in Errol's short subjects, but even without drunken philandering there's no shortage of spouse trouble for Leon.  The absence does create an instance in which the pliable funnyman is completely sympathetic, assisting his daughter's happiness with industrious, hard-working Howell while the prospect horrifies his haughty, high-society minded wife.  It's a complete 180 from the premise of the prior year's POP ALWAYS PAYS.

After stepping in uncredited for Leslie Goodwins on that 1940 Errol vehicle, prolific writer Charles E. Roberts is the sole director of Paul Girard Smith's script for HURRY, CHARLIE, HURRY!  It would be his only turn behind the camera on an Errol feature, but Roberts continued helming two-reelers for the star through 1949's THE CACTUS CUT-UP.  The screenplay by Smith (IT'S A JOKE, SON!) provides Errol with plenty of the well-timed comic denials he was known for and, inevitably, a disguise--Leon is one of three Vice Presidents taking part in the climax.

Another surprise--that's WATER!

The biggest pitfall for HURRY, CHARLIE, HURRY! is the unfortunate depiction of its Native American characters: mute outside of Chief Poison Arrow, strictly of the "Ugh!" variety and drawing racist reactions in the city.  After making the modern viewer groan repeatedly for half of the film, though, Smith provides one surprise: Leon tells off a NYC cop who is harassing the tribesmen and points out that their land was originally stolen from them by the white man.  It doesn't entirely redeem the preceding half hour, but it is refreshing dialogue for the film's era, however brief.

While Roberts and Errol worked together frequently, HURRY, CHARLIE, HURRY! has few others from the comedian's usual collaborators: this was Cunningham's only turn as a "Mrs. Errol", and the actress' huffish manner only adds to Leon's likability.  The film was also one of RKO's two attempts to make twenty-year old Coles a leading lady, and provided beautiful Renee Godfrey with her first credited role.  Douglas Walton is hilariously bland as Cunningham's intended for her daughter--exactly what his upper-crust role calls for.

Leaving the biggest impression outside of Leon himself is legendary African-American actor Noble Johnson (MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE), who like the film's star was capable of making even the most thankless role stick in your mind.  A ubiquitous character actor with well over 100 credits onscreen, Johnson was the co-founder (with brother George) and President of the Lincoln Motion Picture Company off it.

HURRY, CHARLIE, HURRY! hurtles to the expected wild conclusion, with plenty of fake beards, locked doors and exasperated prigs making for a hilarious final reel at the dinner party.   Proof that Errol didn't need inebriated ambulation, philandering or a toffee-nosed disguise to make you laugh, but the star gets far less help than usual from his off-camera collaborators.  HURRY, CHARLIE, HURRY! has its moments--just not nearly enough of them,  The good gags are outnumbered by the uninspired groaners and cringe-worthy elements. 

SO....WHY ISN'T THIS ON DVD/BLU?

Very few know about it.  TCM did air it last October, so it might return at some point.

WHY IT SHOULD BE ON DVD/BLU:

Ah, come on, you know why at this point.  Leon Errol Boxed Set, something that Warner Archive really needs to have a about five or six volumes of.

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob in Orbit" (1958)

"Hold it!  I think you're gonna like this picture!"

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob in Orbit" (LaurMac Productions/NBC-TV 1958)  Original Air Date: November 18, 1958.  Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins and Grandpa Josh Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Lisa Gaye as Collette DuBois, Lisa Davis as Peggy, General Clarence A. Shoop as Himself, John Hoyt as Bridagier General Tallman, Robert Foulk as the Air Policeman, Eddie Quillan as the Sergeant.   Directed by Bob Cummings.  Written by Paul Henning and Dick Wesson.


Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB/THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide at this link.


Aided by flashbacks from Grandpa Clobbers the Air Force, Chuck MacDonald gives mother Margaret a quick recap of that installment's conclusion.  After being rejected as too old to serve when he volunteers to return to reserve duty, Bob's eighty year old grandfather Josh dropped homemade apple cider bombs on the Air Force from his old Curtiss JN-4 "Jenny".  Unfortunately, reserve Colonel Bob Collins and nephew Chuck were visiting the base at the same time as that embarrassing raid, with Chuck escaping in the confusion.  Uncle Bob wasn't so lucky: he's being held in the brig for Grandpa Collins' crime of setting "Old Ramrod" General Tallman's career back five years.

Incommunicado with the outside world on Tallman's orders, Bob desperately tries to extricate himself from behind bars and get a message back to his office and all those waiting models.  Back at the studio, everyone naturally thinks Bob is late for more conventional reasons, and an exasperated Grandpa initially refuses to fill in for the "irresponsible young 'un" at the studio.  But after a gander at Bobby Boy's assignment for the day, Grandpa decides that blood is thicker than water.

Imagine that...

Grandpa Clobbers the Air Force builds methodically to its titular climax, and Bob in Orbit shows the aftermath--which is surprisingly the wilder half of this two parter.  Grandpa's makeshift explosives didn't leave any casualties outside of a one-star General's pride, but leaving Bob's immediate superior red-faced is arguably more offending.  The imprisoned Colonel doesn't help his cause with complaints which are turned into inadvertent suggestions by Old Ramrod.

"Colonel Collins, I will rectify that immediately!"

Bob in Orbit isn't all punishment for the Sins of the (Grand) Father.  The sack dress gets an amusing ribbing in this peppery Henning-Wesson script, and while Bob is shackled in front of the camera, the episode's eponymous star is exuberantly free behind it.  Director Cummings runs with the frequent cutaway gags and gleefully embraces the recurrent rear projections required by the increasingly degrading and exhausting indignities for Colonel Collins.  All are silly but some are inspired: getting the Colonel up a telephone pole is my personal favorite, but Bob's heretofore unseen ability to operate a jackhammer is the biggest surprise.

"Sacks is for potatoes, not tomatoes!"

With Bob in the hoosegow, Grandpa's the only available substitute for him at the office.  Josh has gotten the hang of modern camera equipment since Grandpa's Christmas Visit, and proves once again that the apple didn't fall that far from the tree.  Snapping Collette and Peggy in the aforementioned Givenchy dress is just too unrevealing for the spy octogenarian, creating arguably the best sight gag in a segment brimming with them.  Grandpa's insistence on keeping the young lovelies from "lookin' like flappers" saves Bob in Orbit from being cheesecake-free, a description you just wouldn't want a LOVE THAT BOB to have.

No, your eyes aren't deceiving you!

The most questionable fit is Bob's insistence on a cigarette, since we never saw our shutterbug smoke in any of the 141 episodes prior. While the payoff is necessary to provide Tallman's justification for Collins' continuing captivity, it can't help but feel strained--particularly to fans familiar with the star's vocal anti-smoking advocacy off-camera.  Hell, Cummings wouldn't even light up for the show's Winston commercials!  Still, he proves his commitment to the bit by actually inhaling, giving us witness to something truly rare.

"Have you any idea what it feels like to be a sitting duck for ack ack in a bundle of bailing wire??"

In the supporting cast, real life Major General Clarence A. Shoop (Colonel Goldbrick) makes another appearance (Shoop was a longtime friend married to frequent Cummings co-star Julie Bishop); Lisa Gaye is joined by Lisa Davis instead of Joi Lansing modeling the dresses, and could there be more perfect casting than John Hoyt as an officer nicknamed Old Ramrod?

Outside of the cancer stick contrivance there's one other minor flaw that is beyond anyone's control:  Bob in Orbit is comedically enhanced by viewing Grandpa Clobbers the Air Force first.  Alas, part one doesn't appear to be on YouTube and the conclusion has been uploaded multiple times, so Bob in Orbit is ubiquitous while its prequel is very hard (but not impossible) to find.  Just one more reason for a specialty company (Shout! Factory, I'm looking at you!) to pick up the baton from Shokus Video Catalog and give us a remastered release.

Bob in Orbit is an anomaly for the series: Bob dangling sex in front of army Joes to no avail, this is one episode in which he simply can't win, despite good intentions (for once).  On one level, you could present it as proof that long-running series have always been susceptible to becoming cartoonish in their old age.  But within the context of a series that was so subversive for its time, straightforward slapstick is actually unconventional.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

General Tallman and the married Air Policeman couldn't be swayed by Bob's insinuations of hot model hookups.  However, the Sarge appeared willing to be a buddy in exchange for the leftovers.

DID BOB SCORE?

Briefly getting his arm around a literal "filly" is as close as Bob gets to the opposite sex.  Penal labor keeps our playboy from penile pleasure.

Far less swingin' than we're used to from Bob (and BOB!) and much more slapstick but plenty of belly laughs despite the silliness.  Bob in Orbit is funnier if you're lucky enough to see Grandpa Clobbers the Air Force first, but it's one of the winners from the scattershot final season regardless.  Cummings keeps the absurdity coming fast enough that you can swallow a contrivance or two.  (*** out of four)

Thanks to the aforementioned Shokus Video Catalog, both Grandpa Clobbers the Air Force and Bob in Orbit are available on DVD (the latter is curiously re-named Bob in the Brig, on Volume 5, while the former is on Volume 4).