Television Review: HONDO: "Hondo and the Sudden Town" (1967)

"Your lives are meaningless compared to HONDO!" 

HONDO: "Hondo and the Sudden Town"  (1967 ABC-TV/MGM/Batjac Productions) Episode 11; Original Air Date: November 17, 1967.  Starring Ralph Taeger as Hondo Lane, Noah Beery Jr. as Buffalo Baker, Gary Clarke as Captain Richards, Willam Bryant as Colonel Crook, Michael Pate as Vittoro, Glenn Langan as Victor Tribolet, William Benedict as Willie, Gene Raymond as Senator Alden Knight, Rod Cameron as Martin Blaine,  Leonard Stone as Gus Kelso, Tom Reese as Chad Wilson. Written by Palmer Thompson.  Directed by Harry Harris.

Series overview and introduction to the HONDO episode guide at this link. 

Former Senator Alden Knight--the "Silver Knight of the West"--and partner Martin Blaine arrive in the territory intending to revive the ghost town of Surprise, Arizona and its eponymously named silver mine in the heart of Apache hunting ground.  Game driven out during the previous boom is just starting to come back to the area, but Knight's name still carries a lot of weight in Washington: the troopers are under orders to protect the real estate investment fronted by the ex-Senator (yet quietly masterminded and largely financed by Blaine).

It figures to be a short exploration since Surprise No. 1 has been grubbed out for years, but Blaine has already arranged to make success certain.  Having made those preparations, Kelso blackmails Blaine for a higher cut of the profits.  Blaine's response is to kill two birds with one stone by having Kelso silenced permanently and framing the Apaches for the murder.  Meanwhile, employees are hired, Tribolet trades freighting services for land, and business is booming in the former Surprise, now renamed Silver Knight.  There's only one thing missing--actual silver bullion from the all important mine.

"It's kind of like tryin' to patch up a leaky water trough.  You plug up one end, the other end busts open."

Hondo and the Sudden Town brings another external threat to the ever-fragile peace in Arizona Territory.  This time, it's newly private property purchased by the politically connected that threatens the treaty, and all based purely on chicanery.  The geological test is likely as fraudulent as the scheme--note that it was apparently done without Vittoro's blessing, unlike the survey in Hondo and the Superstition Massacre.  This highly artificial stimulation is initially successful, trickling profits all the way down to the newly employed town drunk Willie.  But the gravy train stops with the white man--Apaches will face a great challenge in putting food on the table if the ghost is revived permanently.

"Your word has always been good, my Son."

Vittoro hears about the return of settlers from his scout, and for once we see the wise old Chief's patience tested--along with (briefly) his faith in Hondo Lane.  The end of Emberato's two moon timetable finds Silver Knight still filled with miners and more traffic on the way.  Even the Chief's son-in-law isn't immune to being scuffed up a bit when it appears that Lane was lying.

"You've been put out to pasture for pennies."

His love for taking center stage is intact even after he sours on the deal's legitimacy, but Senator Alden Knight isn't the expected blowhard.  An honest statesman for most of his adult life, Knight ended up pushed out by "a younger man with a chestful of medals" and facing his winter years financially insecure.  A widower as a young man (like Hondo) who never remarried, he longs for the cheering crowds almost as much as monetary gain.  Becoming Blaine's figurehead is understandably appealing, for Knight's political career could be resuscitated right along with the mine.

"My friends, a new day is dawning for this territory!"

By the time the Senator discovers the dirty dealings beneath the facade, it's too late for the frontman to bail--his name is on everything.  A decent man unwittingly ensnared in Blaine's web, the Silver Knight is a tragic figure in the end.  The cost of retaining his moral sense is losing that sterling reputation that took four decades to build and meant far more to the Senator than money.

Little wonder that Blaine and Tribolet hit it off--in fact, the latter even seems awed by the newcomer at times.  Blaine is just as bastardly as Fort Lowell's resident magnate, yet even more skillfully connected at the nation's capital and smoothly efficient at eliminating obstacles without ever getting his hands dirty.  Martin Blaine coolly imposes his will on forces both physically (Wilson) and politically (Knight) powerful without ever breaking a sweat.  Blaine's lone error is choosing the bigoted Wilson for the most unpleasant task--the henchman is simply too ignorant of Apache ways to convincingly pin Kelso's demise on the tribe.

Hondo and the Sudden Town was the first of back to back segments directed by Harry Harris, who handles the show's fisticuffs better than anyone outside of Lee Katzin.  Reliable heavy Tom Reese (FLAMING STAR) gets two bouts with our titular hero.  For once, Reese isn't the most physically imposing actor on the set with 6'5" Rod Cameron around.  The grandiose actor was widely known for his canny business sense in real life, choosing first-run syndication for all three of his 1950's vehicles (for the fatter residuals).  Cameron proves to be an inspired choice for Blaine, one of his few villainous roles on the small screen.

Cameron (STATE TROOPER) rates special guest star status in the opening credits, but Gene Raymond gets the showier part as he recounts his greatest D.C. glories at the saloon and later baffles 'em with BS when explaining the scheme's profitability.  Likely better known as the husband of Jeanette MacDonald than for his own lengthy career, Raymond is unexceptional but credible.

Beery and Benedict (R)

Hondo and the Sudden Town was the last of four appearances for longtime Bowery Boy Billy Benedict as saloon fixture Willie.  It is somewhat surprising for a character actor with 317 IMDd listings and a career spanning 53 years, but these four episodes are Benedict's highest number for any TV series.   The Oklahoma native went uncredited frequently, but that only happened to him once on HONDO (Hondo and the Comancheros).  Incidentally, the real Surprise, Arizona has become something of a sudden city in the 21st century: the population has more than quadrupled (from 30,848 to 132,677) since the year 2000.

HOW MANY CANS OF WHOOPASS?

Damn close to a six-pack.  As noted above, henchman Chad Wilson runs afoul of Hondo twice, failing to get revenge in the rematch.  The ill-fated Kelso and Blaine also end up on the wrong end of Hondo's fists.  Lane's ring record is marred a little by Apache braves angered at the white man's continued intrusion, but to be fair, it took a sneak attack by four of them.

IS THE CANTINA STILL STANDING?

Hondo's brief dispatchment of Kelso caused no property damage, and every other fracas took place outdoors.

A DOG'S LIFE:

Sam's the one who locates the key evidence convincing Hondo of Apache innocence in Kelso's killing, and also gets to display his horse-fetching skills.  Sam also gets some amusing visuals during the montage of rebuilding Silver Knight, and Harris never has him far from the action.

MISSING MINUTES:

This might be the episode harmed most by edits in syndication, as every TV print I've seen is missing the crucial scene at Destarte's grave between Senator Knight and Hondo.  We learn a lot about Knight's early life before public service in a short time (including somewhat surprising commonalities with Lane) and the monologue is crucial to the final resolution, which seems a little rushed without it.

NAGGING QUESTION:

Which state did Senator Knight represent for forty years?  If he was the Silver Knight of the West, even California wouldn't have been a state long enough in 1869 (the year in which Hondo is set).  Louisiana (admitted 1812) is the most westward state that would fit that timeline.

Writer Palmer Thompson contributed scripts to over three dozen TV series before his untimely death at age 51.  While Thompson's tale of Surprise has few of them, he does have a great grasp on these characters and the rather heart-rending arc of the unfortunate Knight is compelling.  Speaking of sad fates--ABC's quick hook for HONDO become official just days before this superb installment arrived.  A real shame, for Hondo and the Sudden Town displays a show in full stride after only eleven installments.  (***1/2 out of four)

HONDO airs at 10:15 A.M. Central every Sunday morning on GetTV, and on Saturday, June 30th GetTV airs a HONDO marathon from 11 AM until 7 PM Central which includes this episode.  

HONDO: THE COMPLETE SERIES is also on DVD from Warner Archive.

Television Review: HONDO: "Hondo and the Judas" (1967)

"Your lives are meaningless compared to HONDO!"  













HONDO: "Hondo and the Judas" (1967 ABC-TV/Batjac/MGM) Episode 9: Original Air Date November 3, 1967.  Starring Ralph Taeger as Hondo Lane, Noah Beery Jr. as Buffalo Baker, Gary Clarke as Captain Richards.  Guest Stars: Forrest Tucker as Colonel William Quantrill, Ricky Nelson as Jesse James, John Agar as Frank James, John Carradine as Dr. Leonard Zeber, Roger Perry as Johnny Reno, Richard Bakalyan as Cole Younger, Roy Jenson as Bob Ford, Fritz Ford as Charlie Ford, Kip Whitman as Jim Younger, Ken Mayer as Marshal Bragg, Charles Maxwell as Leek Harker, Pete Dunn as Bottles.  Teleplay by Frank Chase; Story by Andrew J. Fenady.  Directed by Lee H. Katzin.

Series Overview for HONDO: TV's Unlikeliest Cult Hit at this link



Mail call at Fort Lowell.  Hondo Lane receives a terse letter that simply reads: "New Canaan.  Life or Death.  Now."  Signed with the letter Q.  The scout mysteriously and abruptly rides out alone, leaving Sam with Buffalo Baker as he begins a multi-day journey east.  Along the way, Lane is recognized from afar by the Harker brothers.  Unaware that Emberato has been pardoned, the aspiring bounty hunters trail the scout when he departs.

"A man can live with one wing, but not with gangrene."

Once Hondo arrives in New Canaan, he finds an almost deserted ghost town.  Inside the saloon: Lane's former Confederate commander, Colonel William Clark Quantrill.  Thought to have died four years earlier, Quantrill is alive but not particularly well--he's missing his left arm and prone to ill-tempered outbursts.  Lane also discovers that the Colonel sent the same cryptic note to all of his former Raiders: the James brothers, the Youngers, Bob and Charlie Ford, and late arrival Johnny Reno. 

Once all are present for the surprise (to Hondo at least) reunion, Lane learns the all-important situation he's been summoned for is Quantrill's planned robbery of an Army payroll wagon.  But that isn't the ex-commander's only project: he also has vengeance on his mind against the "Judas" among them who cost him an arm and left him for dead in a ditch.  Wanting no part of either idea, Lane leaves a note and begins the long trek back--with three would-be assassins hot on his trial and the Colonel not far behind.

We discover in Hondo and the Judas that the protagonist's search for his wife's killer took him all the way to the Kansas-Missouri conflict.  There, the man General Sheridan hailed as "the best scout and infiltrator on either side" gained that reputation in the South's most notorious guerrilla unit.  That is, two years before he was "late of the Texas 7th".  While not necessarily contradicting what we were told before, this revelation still seems improbable for a number of reasons.

Fenady provided the story but assigned this teleplay to Frank Chase (Hondo and the Savage), whose heavy-handed approach marred that interesting FORT APACHE variation.  In his sophomore installment, BONANZA veteran Chase is uncharacteristically sloppy, blundering badly before the opening credits.  Lane leaves Sam at Fort Lowell, explaining that "this is something before you--before Destarte, even."  Uh, not according to Hondo's long-cited reason for joining the South in the first place, which was avenging her death!  Katzin should have cut this, particularly since it is contradicted later in the episode by Quantrill.

Going against the show's entrenched universe is a no-no for any episode, but it's of utmost importance to have Lane's impetuses clear here.  We're about to learn that Hondo fought under a notorious bushwhacker who led attacks targeting civilians--not unlike the one in which Lane's wife, unborn child, and "sick old men" were massacred.  Positing Hondo Lane (whose commission was legitimate, unlike Quantrill's) as a loyal follower of this sociopathic opportunist takes a considerable leap of faith.  Lane's reputation also takes a hit with the disclosure that he was captured in Lawrence on the eve of Quantrill's most flagrant raid.

Consistent inconsistency with both the series' established backstory and this episode's reigns throughout Hondo and the Judas.  In one particularly blatant example, Robert Ford objects vociferously to riding with a madman (Quantrill); barely thirty seconds later he charges Hondo with being "the only one who wants to get out of this deal"(!) and is angry enough to fight about it.

Exercising artistic license on the highly chronicled figures in Hondo and the Judas is a given; the decisions on when and what are as questionable as all the rest.  As you'd expect from a Fenady production, research is evident: William Quantrill was once a schoolteacher, and in a key moment, Chase neatly makes the point that many of the guerrillas killed by his reckless actions were teenagers.  But Quantrill's claim to be a Southerner who fought for the South as a matter of "duty and love"?  Well...

"I used to be like you, I could forgive my enemies...…"

Quantrill was born in Ohio and spent subsequent pre-War years in Illinois, Utah, Kansas...Hell, practically everywhere but a Southern state.  A northerner who fought for the South, in reality.  Just like Hondo--a commonality, if presented, would create understandable circumstances for Lane ending up a Raider.  Not the only missed opportunity along these lines--the real Cole Younger was also motivated to become an underground fighter by the death of his father at Union hands, for example.

The presence of so many infamous rogues seems more liability than asset, since the misdeeds of the James-Younger gang and Quantrill's Raiders are much more widely known than those of (say) the Apache Kid.  That said, with Hondo and the Judas being such an outlier for the show in premise and quality, it's seeing those figures played by a cultist's dream cast that provides most of the entertainment value.

"Say it clearer than that, Ford!"

Bob Ford is Hondo's lone antagonist among his fellow Raiders, and also the only one showing overt allegiance to the Gray.  Since Hondo is now working for the hated Blue Bellies, the younger Ford accuses the scout of being the Judas--frequently.  Johnny Reno is Hondo's closest friend of the Raiders, with Cole Younger also consistently supportive.  Notably, Frank James ensures Hondo gets a fair fight once things come to a head with Ford.

"People think he died a hero in the War, let it stay that way."

Despite that eyebrow-raising line, Quantrill isn't glorified here.  The Colonel we meet tricks Hondo Lane into meeting him under false pretenses.  He saves Hondo's life (for a second time)--but as we later learn, mainly because he needs Lane's current employment to serve as cover for the robbery.  A self-serving opportunist to the end, Quantrill uses these loyal ex-soldiers with little regard for lives besides Zeber's--and his own.  Manipulative?  When Lane makes it known that he'd like to pass on "the plan", the Colonel shames him, asserting that he led the Lawrence raid solely to save Hondo's neck!  Hondo's reaction is a wordless and priceless combination of disgust and disbelief:

What if Quantrill had lived?  Hondo and the Judas posits that he would have applied his "hit and run" tactics to robberies--just like the James-Younger gang ended up doing, only on a larger scale.  Nothing noble there.  Nevertheless, loyal Zeber gives a rebuttal, implying more than once that Quantrill was ethical before he was corrupted by the horrors of war and betrayal.

After nearly a decade of affability between THE MUSIC MAN and F TROOP, Tucker reminds you just how frightening he could be as a villain.  Roger Perry is equally impressive as tortured loner Reno, but Ricky Nelson is merely adequate at best in his stunt-casting as Jesse James.  The most intriguing character is the fictional Zeber, essayed by old pro Carradine.  A broken-down yet hard to read physician, he appears at various times to be the Judas or the real brains behind the mad mastermind.  In the end, the Doctor seems inspired by Hondo's forgiveness towards his former adversaries.

In reality, Bob Ford was exactly eighteen months old when the Lawrence massacre took place, his brother Charles was all of six years of age, and John Reno was never anywhere near the South or Quantrill.  Suffice to say it took far more than the typical number of liberties to get all these malefactors together and the advisability of doing so turned out to be rather dubious.  When all is said and done, Hondo and the Judas is a misfire.

MISSING FROM SYNDICATION:

Television prints and the version streaming on the late Warner Archive Instant missed two key conversations between Ford, Zeber and Hondo.  The missing minutes are restored to the complete series DVD version from Warner Archive.

HOW MANY CANS OF WHOOPASS?

The coward Robert Ford (whose future assassination of Jesse is subtly referenced in the tag) is Hondo's main antagonist here, angry at Lane for his current job and eventually getting his ass kicked after throwing a punch at a disabled Hondo.  It's the titular one's only fracas of the episode, but it's a really good one as Ford fights dirty, then finds the ante upped considerably by his temporarily one-winged adversary.  One of the finest fistfights of the entire series and easily the best minute of this episode.

A DOG'S LIFE:

Chase apparently wasn't much on writing for canines.  Sam was absent from both of his teleplays after the teaser.

IS THE CANTINA STILL STANDING?

Fort Lowell's cantina barely gets a scratch from Buffalo's losing effort in an arm wrestling match, but the deserted watering hole in New Canaan gets quite a workout after Ford edges too close in his commentary.

In Bruce Eder's excellent bio of The Horn Section's patron saint for All Movie Guide, he singles out Tuck's "very effective" performance here in "one of the better episodes" of the series.  I agree with half of Eder's assessment.  One of very few missteps for what was usually a very good-to-excellent series, Hondo and the Judas is a questionable idea poorly executed.  (** out of four)

HONDO airs every Sunday morning at 10:15 A.M. Central Time on getTV.

HONDO: THE COMPLETE SERIES is also available on DVD from Warner Archive.

Kermit Schafer Series: "100 SUPER DUPER BLOOPERS" (1977)

1977 marked the Silver Anniversary for producer Kermit Schafer and his bloopers, and as always, the Blooper Man was all over the place to celebrate.  A quarter century after the first Blooper LP on Jubilee (which ended up selling over two million copies, pretty impressive numbers in the early Fifties), Schafer released dueling multi-volume sets on MCA and K-Tel to mark the milestone year.

We all saw that commercial on TV for the K-Tel release (and also noticed that "Kermet's" name was misspelled in it) which was a natural progression for the well known Canadian company after they distributed the PARDON MY BLOOPER film in 1974.  Many of us of a certain age were intrigued to learn about all this shockingly filthy unbleeped and uncensored material that just couldn't be repeated on TV.  And, since this 2-LP set would be in the K-Tel section of the record store, those who were my age could have an easier time buying it than we'd have trying to slip out with the latest Richard Pryor or George Carlin record we weren't supposed to be listening to.  (Thank goodness there was no PMRC yet in 1977....)

While this was eight years before the voluntary labeling of records, there was another reason that Kermit Schafer's latest was a less troublesome purchase for us aspiring class clowns: F-bombs were verboten.  Likely by K-Tel/Commonwealth, since the six volume MCA series was awash with them.  (More on that set later.) 

Only about one in five of those uncensored K-Tel bloopers actually contained profanity, though there were enough to satisfy us.  With Schafer's somewhat infamous reputation for stretching the truth---Uncle Don and Sonny Tufts? being among the more (in)famous examples---a better question to ask is, how many were re-creations, or outright creations?  If you'd like to follow along with me, here's the complete 2 LP set on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAyAqlViZpM

Let's start the trip down memory lane with Record One, Side One (0:00 to 15:54 on the link above):

Fakes: 12, 15, 16, 17, 23, 24, 25.

The Real Deal: 2 through 7, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 18 through 22.  

Notes:

2) Fortunately, there's video versions of some of these NEWLYWED GAME classics, like this one:

3) This baseball game took place on April 26, 1976 and was the lone American League game on that Monday slate.  You'd think Don Money's leadoff game winning homer would deserve mention, but I still think this one is genuine.  (In print, Schafer unnecessarily embellished it with a second "S-bomb".)

4) Cedric Adams (1903-1961) was the Lowell Thomas of the upper Midwest, breaking up frequently and popping up on multiple blooper records.

6) Had to have taken place on or shortly after November 30, 1958, which was Sir Churchill's 84th birthday. 

7) John Cameron Swayze was heard on ABC radio's KRAM 920 out of Las Vegas in the early to mid 1960's, and from this newspaper article and the dates mentioned ("from September 15th on, KRAM listeners...") this is the incident that occurred on Friday, September 1, 1961.  From the Saturday, September 2 issue of the Reno Gazette-Journal:

Swayze publicly apologized the following week, and all was forgiven, but not before a full investigation (it was radio cussin', not TV cussin', just FYI!).

10) Poor Joseph Kasa-Vubu (1910-1969).  Not only did he get his name misspelled on the record, but the first President of the Republic of the Congo (elected 1960) ended up losing the Presidency to that strongman Mobutu in a 1965 coup.

11) Is actually this famous sequence from THE NEWLYWED GAME.  Bob Eubanks himself called Cathy his favorite contestant of all time.  She is easy on the eyes; for proof, here's the video version:

12) and 16) Same announcer on both, and we'll hear more from him later.  Just four bloopers apart?  Schafer usually wasn't THAT careless with the sequencing.

13) Has to be from 1964; the initiative that the announcer is struggling with was California Proposition 14.  Didn't really need that overly cute splice at the end ("if you're for the initiative, you're against....the initiative") Kermit!

14) That is Schenkel, and must have taken place before Agustin Senin joined Paolino Uzcudun as a notable Basque boxer.  Incidentally, Schenkel had his facts wrong: Joe Louis knocked Uzcudun out in the fourth round, not the 12th, on December 13, 1935.  I think if he'd been born a few decades later, he would have played a Bond villain's henchman when his boxing days ended:

Paolino Uzcudun

15) The worst Wolfman Jack impersonator in history.  But maybe not the worst celebrity sub on this record.  Read on.

17) "Groucho" is just as bad as the impersonator on 15.

18) This one happened on the first day of that unauthorized NBC technician's union strike: Monday, April 27, 1959, playing havoc with Frank Bourgholtzer's valiant attempt to report Eisenhower's veto of the REA Bill that same day.  EPILOGUE: Ike's veto was overridden two days later, and the video technicians accepted a settlement to end the nineteen day strike on May 16.

Frank Bourgholtzer (1919-2010)

20) Does the spelling consistently suck or what?  Couldn't even get John Scali's name right!

21) Bing and Al singing Philco's praises is from 1947.  A longer version:

24) Heard the "chick list" on other records, and other announcers, and even other astronauts

25) Not Bob Eubanks this time, so it must be a re-creation.  Probably did happen, I'd bet.

Record One: Side Two (15:55 through 34:20)

Fakes: 1, 5, 6, 8, 9, 13, 15, 18

The Real Deal: 2-4, 10-12, 19, 22-25

Notes:

1) Who was that mysterious Pirate pitcher?  One of the most shameful fakes--ever know any announcer not to just call the pitcher by his last name during the broadcast?

3) While F-bombs were a no-no, K-Tel allowed this one unintentional C-bomb from the golden age of radio.  Bob Burns' name is misspelled on the label.  This one had to have taken place between October 1942 and December 1946, the duration of Lever Brothers' sponsorship of THE BOB BURNS SHOW.

6) One of my faves as a kid, but sadly inauthentic IMO, since the same sound effects popped up on several prior Schafer "re-creations".

Well, not ALL of it, Kermit.....

8) Almost as bad a Welk impersonator as those on Side One.  Schafer rehired him for the Citizen's Bloopers album for K-Tel the same year, I think.

10) Long Journey doesn't sound that interesting, so little wonder I couldn't find much information on it, except that it did indeed air on weekday mornings from 11-11:15 AM on ABC in 1951-52, and Pauline Frederick had a news show on ABC then also.

11)  I think this particular blooper occurred during the North American Championships in Squaw Valley that started February 19, 1959.  Buddy Werner competed then, but a broken leg kept him out of the Winter Olympics there the following year.  However, local legend "Kit" Carson White overcame his awkwardness, returning a year later to report on the 1960 Winter Olympics, the highlight of his career.  Soon after that, he formed the U.S. Ski Writer's Association with a respected national journalist he met there.... Lowell Thomas!  Small world.

"Kit" Carson White (1914-2001)

13) Heard this one elsewhere, too.  Never really bought it.

15) Carl Smith, 84, a lifetime resident of this city......what city?

16) Too hard to find recordings of STRIKE IT RICH (1947-1957) to tell if this is a re-recording or not.  But outside of the recording sounding a little too clean, it could be legit.

17) Ringo Starr lost those tonsils on December 2, 1964.

19) Speaking of Lowell Thomas, he kept popping up on Schafer records and his breakups were indeed legendary.  This November 1967 classic (I'm able to date it by the initial newspaper reports of it and the release of Ms. Guyer's book) was so well known that it was mentioned in Thomas' 1981 obituary and was still being included on blooper albums into the Dick Clark era.

22) The narrator was kind to Douglas, and in turn, Douglas was kind to Kermit in the liner notes.

23) Mrs. Sirka Aarelid was the woman who had the toothbrush removed from her stomach in Stockholm's Caroline Hospital. UPI reported this item on November 8, 1967.

25) It took a lot of digging to find this one, but Lt. Theodore Swartz hit that buzzard in Dunnellon, Florida on .... August 5, 1963!  Swartz was on active duty from 1954-1977.

Record Two: Side Three (34:20 through 48:17)

Fakes: 5, 11, 15, 17, 19, 22, 24

Authentic: 2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 16, 18, 20, 21, 23, 25

Notes:

2) Milton Cross, referenced here as the Dean of Announcers, broadcast from the Metropolitan Opera from the first broadcast on Christmas Day, 1931 until his death on January 3, 1975--missing only four live shows in 43 years!

3) Representative and future President Gerald Ford made this proposal in January 1967.

4) What was up with that "racketship" description by another announcer during the intro?  That sounds like Bill Stern doing the Sardo Bath Oil commercial though.

5) I'd love for this one to have really happened, but her delivery is as artificial as it gets.

7) Deservedly one of radio's most discussed incidents and happened to an unsuspecting Walter O'Keefe on the October 15, 1948 DOUBLE OR NOTHING.  Here's the full show below.  Young waitress (and former Navy nurse) Anna Miles is the first contestant, and get a load of how flustered she has O'Keefe immediately and continuing for the rest of the show:

9) A childhood fave of mine. Oh, yes!

Well, not quite a three for one shit seal, but close...

10) Judging from those news stories that he was repeatedly unable to present, these technical difficulties wreaked havoc on Frank Blair's TODAY show on Tuesday, August 29, 1967--a day much better known as The Day the Running Stopped on THE FUGITIVE.

11) Funny as Hell, but I'm skeptical of its authenticity due to the clean sound and slightly phony sounding verbiage leading up to the uh, climax.

13) How I wish I could find more information on Mrs. Louise Jacobs from Detroit, MI and her prolific tool making husband.  Unfortunately, this clip lacks the fame of Anna's proposed screwing party on number 7 above.

A much earlier LP back cover

17) Not even Howell Heflin sounded like this alleged Senator.

19) The same announcer from side one's football game (12) and Grand Prix (16) is now announcing hockey.  Busy guy!  But he gets even busier--see side four.

22) Hoo!  That'll be the day!  The worst actor on this entire record, though he has some competition (see 24 below).

23) Interior Secretary Stewart Udall (1920-2010) made these comments on February 23, 1965 to the Sales Executive Club in NYC.

24) "Bob Johnson" from Total Information News sounds just as unconvincing as the name of his newscast.


Record Two: Side Four (48:18 through 1:01:17)

Fake: 5, 7, 8, 13, 17, 19, 21

The Real Deal: 1, 3, 6, 11, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 23, 25

Notes:

2) Miss Welch did indeed receive the Star of the Sixties award from the Interstate Theatre Circuit and Cinerama and Pacific theatres did give her the International Star of the Year award, and received both in 1967.  But is this blooper for real?  Doesn't quite sound as fake as the similar "boy, what a pair" Jane Russell comment on earlier LP's.

6) Pfizer Udder Tone was trademarked on October 11, 1962.

7) At the very least, a re-recording, as I heard this one with a male announcer making the exact same blooper on earlier records.

11) Shay Torrent (1919-2004) was the organist at Anaheim Stadium from 1965-1986.

12) May 7, 1952 was the date that the Klompen Dancers appeared on ARTHUR GODFREY AND HIS FRIENDS on CBS.

17) Our announcer friend from football, the Grand Prix, and Bobby Orr's NHL game returns for a fourth time, and screws up a PBA match.  Regardless of the sport, he's unbelievably phony each time.  Bad hire, Mr. Schafer.

18) Yes, that's Frank Gallup, who hosted The Prudential Family Hour on CBS radio from August 1941 until September 1948.

20) Evel's infamous Snake River Canyon attempt took place on September 8, 1974.  Representative John Murphy of New York was the key "two bit politician" attempting to block television coverage of the jump.

23) I'm pretty sure that's Gene (MATCH GAME) Rayburn, who was one of the rotating hosts of MONITOR on NBC radio from 1961-1973.  That $100,000 All Star Bowling Tournament took place in Philadelphia from January 13-24, 1965.   Winners: Dick Weber and Anne Slattery.

25) The perfect closer, and also the perfect example of K-Tel's F-bomb ban.  The full-length Martin and Lewis commercial outtake for THE CADDY (1953) is even raunchier than the admittedly still damn funny shortened version that appears on this album:

As was the case with the PARDON MY BLOOPER (1974) feature film, singer Danny Street closes things out with "You Blew It".


FINAL TALLY: 

I counted 51 that I could verify as authentic or make a reasonable assumption, 29 that are either suspected fakes or outright phony, and 20 that I either can't tell or am on the fence regarding a determination.

It's easy to see why Kermit Schafer gets derided by many: the "re-creations" are really blatant, to the point that they overshadow the still-impressive amount of authentic material.  Nevertheless, this much appears true to me: while he is guilty of some embellishment, Kermit Schafer gets a bit of a bum rap from his detractors--at least, based on the contents of 100 SUPER DUPER BLOOPERS.  You'd think that 9 out of 10 bloopers are fake from what few comments are found online about him, but it appears that the man was respectably 60 to 65 percent authentic this time around.

So what if ten year old ears couldn't discern the forgeries and we had to go elsewhere for truly harsh language?  Schafer still delivered the goods often enough to have us seeking out more of his blooper collections, which turned out to be plentiful.  He gave us 32 albums and 15 books before his own fart--er, fatal, uh heart attack in 1979.  Next time, I'll cover a raunchier MCA set from the Silver Anniversary year, ALL TIME GREAT BLOOPERS VOLUMES 5 & 6.

If anyone out there can fill in the blanks for me on the last twenty Super Duper bloopers, or can correct me or make additions to my notes, feel free to help me out in the comments below--I'll take all the help I can get as I trek through Schaferland.

Leon Errol Series: GOOD MORNING, EVE! (1934)

GOOD MORNING, EVE! (1934 Vitaphone Short) Starring Leon Errol as Adam, June MacCloy as Eve, Vernon Dent as Nero, Maxine Doyle as Queen Guinevere, Fred Toones as Porter, Wild Bill Elliott as Lancelot, Mildred Dixon as Chorine, Harry Seymour as Harold.  Written by Cyrus Woods, Eddie Moran and A. Dorian Otvos.  Directed by Roy Mack.


The introduction to our Leon Errol Salute Series is at this link.


On a bright day in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve enjoy the sunshine.  While Adam lounges in his fig leaves and spats, Eve prepares their decidedly vegetarian lunch. 

Leon Errol, the first man on earth!  

Adam bemoans the lack of variety in their diet, and he and Eve can't resist adding an apple despite a talking serpent's warning.

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Perhaps they should have been more appreciative of the tip-off: after their meal the couple goes on a surreal journey through the next two centuries, passing through Emperor Nero's talent contest and King Arthur's court before ending up on a 1934 beach via airplane(!)--where singing Harold is about to marry his fifth wife and Leon ogles the bathing-suited beauties in front of his first.  (Hey, she'd have to be--right?)

A rare chance to see our boy Leon in color, GOOD MORNING, EVE! is a gloriously silly last gasp for racy content before the Breen PCA began seriously enforcing the Hays Code (released in September 1934).  The second three-strip Technicolor short (LA CUCARACHA beat it to theatres by three weeks), GOOD MORNING EVE! looks amazing and makes little sense. 

A hillbilly band dressed in togas, accompanying Nero's fiddling?  Sir Lancelot winning a swordfight with another of King Arthur's finest--needing Leon's help to do it?  Yes and yes, accompanied in all eras by lovely ladies wearing the shortest shorts allowed, most prominently when we finally reach 1934--of course.

As for our boy Rubberlegs, there's nary a drop of alcohol to imbibe, and no really memorable lines.  On the plus side, he gets several decent physical gags, and plenty of lovely ladies half his age to ogle.  Naturally, Eve turns out to be just as unforgiving of that wandering eye as future RKO wives would be.

Although he could always make the most out of mediocre material, one wishes Leon had better jokes to carry to the finish line here.  Still, GOOD MORNING, EVE! has plenty of trashy pleasures, and lots of familiar faces to spot.   Three Stooges mainstay Vernon Dent makes an appropriately bizarre Nero, future Western mainstay "Wild" Bill Elliott is that uncredited Sir Lancelot, and Gwinevere is played by the future Mrs. William Witney, Maxine Doyle.

An Eve thirty years younger than our Adam (but still unable to keep Leon's full attention), June MacCloy isn't the only scantily clad lovely here.   Yes, the first woman on earth has plenty of competition as the centuries pass.  Busby Berkeley regulars Donna Mae Roberts, Mildred Dixon, Loretta Andrews and Martha Merrill are all recognizable--Dixon on the beach, the others in Nero's Rome.  While the numbers aren't as geometrically complex as Berkeley's (how could they be?) they're fun, and never lacking for eye candy to draw your attention.

The novely of seeing Leon Errol in color is far more memorable than the script, but if GOOD MORNING, EVE! isn't exactly exceptional stuff, it never wears out its welcome in nineteen garish and sometimes titillating minutes.  Worth seeing for historical value, a decent number of laughs for its runtime, and the fun of spotting all those familiar faces--yes, there's a few I didn't mention above, so check it out for yourself.  Oh, and there's a twist ending that I won't spoil here, but could only have happened in a pre-Code.    (**1/2 out of four)

GOOD MORNING, EVE! occasionally airs on Turner Classic Movies, and is available on DVD in the Vitaphone Cavalcade of Musical Comedy Shorts collection, though the price is steep--it's a six disc set.