Hollywood's Hispanic Heritage Blogathon 2015: Adele Mara

It's Blogathon Time again!  Today's post is The Horn Section's contribution to Hollywood's Hispanic Heritage Blogathon 2015, hosted by Horn Section friend and fellow blogger Aurora of Once Upon a Screen!  Check out all of the other great participating posts by clicking the link above, including Aurora's own contribution on Velia Martinez, co-star of our of our faves, The Big Boodle.  And check out the archives there for more classic film blogging by Aurora.

For my contribution, I'll highlight one of the most beautiful actresses of the 1940's and 1950's, who delighted us for nearly two decades before retiring to raise a family.

Adele Mara was born Adelaida Delgado on April 28, 1923 in Highland Park, Michigan.  Though it was sometimes written that she was half-Irish, Mara stated for the record to western biographer Boyd Magers that she "is adamantly" all Spanish.  Her father was a Ford Motors executive and her brother, Luis Delgado, also became an actor and James Garner's long-time stand-in.

One of the most popular pin-up models during WWII.  No, not the cat

She got her show business start at the young age of six by winning dance lessons as a door prize at a theatre.  Starting with tap, young Adele progressed into adagio and ballet.  By the time Miss Delgado was 15, she was singing and dancing with Xavier Cugat's orchestra.  It was at Cugat's suggestion that she shortened her last name, and the newly billed Adele Mara was spotted by a talent scout at New York's Copacabana.  The result was a contract with Harry Cohn's Columbia Pictures in October 1941--just six months after Adele's 18th birthday.  (Also notably signing with Columbia simultaneously, per UPI: 18 year old dancer Ann Miller and 20 year old big band singer Janet Blair).

with Victor Jory and Joe E. Brown in SHUT MY BIG MOUTH (1942)

By year's end, she was popping up in Columbia "B"s.  Adele Mara's screen career began modestly enough--she was uncredited in her first two films, Navy Blues and the Lupe Velez vehicle Honolulu Lu (both 1941) but she was a leading lady by her fourth, appearing opposite comedian Joe E. Brown in Shut My Big Mouth (1942).  While the film was Brown's vehicle (witness the title) all the way, his brown-eyed co-star with the bright smile attracted a lot of press, and with good reason: you couldn't take your eyes off her.   Subsequently, she was Chester Morris' leading lady in his next BOSTON BLACKIE adventure.

One of the few roles Adele Mara was up for and didn't win: the plum part of Ada in The Moon and Sixpence, which went to fellow Cugat alum Elena Verdugo.  She did have the opportunity to work with the studio's most popular comedy team, The Three Stooges.  Mara appeared in four short subjects during the team's prime years with Curly in 1943 and 1944.

Yes, that's Adele in I CAN'T HARDLY WAIT (1943)

Years later, Mara admitted that she was "a little unhappy" at Columbia: "I wasn't doing things I really wanted to do"--dance.  She wasn't that disappointed when the association only lasted two years.  As fate would have it, her new agent secured an interview with Herbert J. Yates' Republic Pictures in 1944, and they needed an actress to jitterbug with John Wayne (and to teach The Duke how to do the dance) in The Fighting Seabees.

Her 1948 Bowman Movie Stars card.  You shouldn't flip this one!

The auspicious beginning at Republic led to a seven year contract.  At Republic from 1944 through 1951, Mara not only received more opportunities to display her dancing skills (Vampire's Ghost and the Gene Autry vehicle Twilight on the Rio Grande, among others) but a wider range of roles--she proved she could play 'bad girls' as well as sweet, innocent types.  While Adele Mara was most frequently appearing in westerns, she was given opportunities to play choice parts in film noirs, thrillers, mysteries and war films as well.

In Exposed (1947), Adele Mara was top billed as wisecracking P.I. Belinda Prentice.  While the film didn't yield a signature role for the starlet (or even a sequel) it's a must for her fans.

My opinion: we should have had at least one more Belinda Prentice adventure

The daughter of a homicide Inspector (Robert Armstrong), Prentice is hired by Colonel Bentry to investigate his son and heir Bill, who ends up murdered with his butler (Harry Shannon) standing over the body.  There's no shortage of suspects, with the dead man's sister (Adrian Booth).  Adele Mara gets to try her hand at the snappy dialogue, and the brisk 59 minute "B" also features William Haade as Prentice's assistant and venerable Bob Steele as a mob enforcer (tougher than his size would indicate, as always).  This watchable mystery is streaming at Epix HD.

Looking stunning as always in Blackmail (1947)

During her stay at Republic, Adele also received top billing in The Inner Circle (1946), memorably supported John Carroll in Angel in Exile (1948) and had high profile supporting roles in John Wayne's Wake of the Red Witch (1948) and Sands of Iwo Jima (1949).  The latter film also gave a breakthrough role to Forrest Tucker, who like Mara had been at Columbia (and appeared with the starlet in Shut My Big Mouth and Honolulu Lu) prior to signing with Republic in the late forties.  Tucker was given his shot at top billing with Ms. Mara as his leading lady for a pair of 1950 films, Rock Island Trail and California Passage (which I wrote about just last month).

In California Passage (1950)

The former was a highly entertaining "A" and one of the studio's most highly promoted films of the year, with Mara singing the title song.  However, it was the lower profile Christmas release California Passage that gave Adele one of her most memorable roles, as an Eastern transplant caught between feuding saloon partners Tucker and Jim Davis in the Sunshine state.  Read the reviews above for more, but suffice to say that I agree with the assessment of Allmovie's Hans J. Wollstein that Mara was "given a chance to shine".  California Passage is also currently streaming at Epix HD.

Unfortunately, it turned out to be Mara's last hurrah at Republic, for her contract was up in June 1951 and Yates, citing studio budget cuts, elected not to renew it.  By then, Adele Mara was engaged to TV writer/producer Roy Huggins (their marriage lasted a half century until Huggins' death in 2002).

Mara most frequently worked in television throughout the fifties; she made only five features after her stint at Republic ended.  As was the case on the big screen, she remained a popular presence in westerns, guesting on BAT MASTERSON, TALES OF WELLS FARGO, LARAMIE and multiple appearances on CHEYENNE, which was produced by Huggins.  She also made multiple appearances on her husband's shows 77 SUNSET STRIP and MAVERICK for Warner Brothers, and the latter contained Adele Mara's most memorable television roles.

Wowing the cowboys in Seed of Deception

The first season MAVERICK finale Seed of Deception (1958) gave her a chance to briefly show off her still-formidable dancing skills (though Mara claimed she was 'a little rusty'), but it was the second season's The Spanish Dancer that gave her a more extensive showcase as well as the titular role. 

While The Spanish Dancer was not included in the series' Columbia House boxed set, it is one of the most underrated installments of the show's legendary second season.  The lengthier dance sequence for its leading lady is especially welcome--director James V. Kern wisely shows the entire routine.  As a bonus for her fans, the memorable flim-flam involving Bart Maverick (Jack Kelly) and Gentleman Jack Darby (Richard Long) also gives Adele Mara her best small screen opportunity to show off her comedic chops.  Robert Bray (LASSIE) is the worthy foil, who, like Bart and Jack, is crazy about 'Elena Grande' .

With Myron Healey in Seed of Deception

She returned for one final MAVERICK in its third season, again opposite Jack Kelly and again playing the title role in The Marquessa (1960).  Semi-retired and raising three children by this time, Adele Mara appeared much less frequently on the small screen, with only two 1970's cameos after the 1962 ALFRED HITCHCOCK episode House Guest.

Adele Mara left quite an impressive body of work in her two decades on film and television, but remained remarkably modest about it when interviewed by Boyd Magers years after her retirement (for his 1999 book with Michael Fitzgerald,  Ladies of the Western).  "It was like make-believe, and I was being paid good money for it.  Except I never thought I was too good at it."

I'm sure I'm not the only fan who begs to differ with her assessment.

ROCK ISLAND TRAIL (1950) and CALIFORNIA PASSAGE (1950): Tuck Becomes a Hero

This post is The Horn Section's contribution to the Republic Pictures Blogathon hosted by two great bloggers: The Hannibal 8 and our longtime friend Toby Roan at Fifty Westerns From the 1950's. Follow Mr. Roan on twitter and keep up with all the great posts on classics from arguably the Western's greatest decade, the 1950's.

ROCK ISLAND TRAIL (1950 Republic) Starring Forrest Tucker, Adele Mara, Bruce Cabot, Chill Wills, Adrian Booth, Grant Withers, Jeff Corey. Written by James Edward Grant.  Directed by Joseph Kane.

ROCK ISLAND TRAIL (based on Frank Nebins' novel Yankee Dare) was announced as one of Republic Studio's upcoming A-listers for the following year in August 1949.  Quite a cast had already been assembled at the time of that initial press release: Adele Mara, Bruce Cabot, Chill Wills and Grant Withers were among the actors announced, and each played a substantial role in the resulting feature.

Adele Mara

Six-foot-five Rod Cameron was considered the initial favorite to play Reed Loomis, but when filming of James Edward Grant's script actually began in Oklahoma, the hero was played by another tall young Republic actor who had made a significant impression in two of the studio's biggest 1949 successes.

After mostly playing bullies and villains his first two years with the studio, Forrest Tucker had the sympathetic supporting role of Marshall Bucky McLean in the Wild Bill Elliott starrer HELLFIRE, then made an even bigger splash butting heads with John Wayne in the Marine tribute SANDS OF IWO JIMA.  With Elliott's expiring contract creating a void near the top of Republic's stable, the thirty-one year old actor nicknamed "Tuck" graduated to top billing by headlining Joseph Kane's Trucolor adventure.

Forrest Tucker

Reed Loomis (Tucker) is President of the Rock Island Trail Railroad Company.  He draws the ire of steamboat operator Kirby Morrow (Cabot), first by winning the stage line's lucrative mail contract, then by wooing away Morrow's intended, Constance Strong (Mara).  Morrow tries to stop Loomis by hook or crook, sensing that the handsome railroader will be taking a lot of business away from his boats.  First Kirby tries bribing Loomis' subordinates, but Loomis' loyal sidekick Hogger McCoy (Wills) thwarts the effort.  After Reed is able to convince Strong's wealthy father (Winters) to invest in his railroad, Morrow turns to direct sabotage.  Meanwhile, exotic French-educated Keokuk Princess Aleeta (Adrian Booth) tries to woo Mr. Loomis away from the banker's daughter.

Wills and Tucker

The role of Loomis was a real breakthrough for Forrest Tucker.  He mostly played snarling, tight lipped villains throughout the 1940's, but ROCK ISLAND TRAIL gave the husky actor a chance to play not only an extrovert, but an unreserved hero.  Tucker's Reed Loomis is persuasive enough to sway investors, quick-witted and skilled at any weapon of choice (more on than in a bit).  Loomis' magnetism attracts both the banker's daughter and the Indian princess, with sufficient charm to keep the latter's loyal friendship even after he sidesteps her pass in favor of the former.  Tucker is forceful and convincing throughout, clearly relishing the opportunity to play a protagonist in an "A" feature (he did receive a few leads in poverty row productions such as Monogram's EMERGENCY LANDING (1941) before achieving more substantial stardom at Republic).  Tuck's image would eventually change dramatically with similarly brash roles as Professor Harold Hill in THE MUSIC MAN and, of course, Sergeant O'Rourke on F TROOP.  But ROCK ISLAND TRAIL was the first real display of his affability on the big screen.

Oh, and that comment about his aptitude with weapons: Loomis puts on an impressive display with his fists (several times) and his firearm, but when Morrow challenges him, he chooses an unconventional weapon: mops dipped in boiling soup.  The resulting duel provides the one truly unconventional moment in this kitchen-sink actioneer, with Loomis proving his point by the end of the conflict: "Dueling is stupid!"

Bruce Cabot (R)

Kane provides a surfeit of action as expected.  In addition to that mop duel, ROCK ISLAND TRAIL gives us train/stage race, an exploding bridge, several fist fights, the inevitable attack from a hostile tribe (instigated by Cabot, of course)....there's even a courtroom trial with Abraham Lincoln (Jeff Corey) representing Loomis' railroad (and winning the case, of course).

Corey, he of the deep, smooth voice (his career would hit an unfortunate roadblock with HUAC a year later) is a fine choice to play the future President.  The offbeat casting of Booth doesn't quite come off without a hitch, though I can't think of anyone else under contract who could have played the role of a French-Indian princess more effectively.  (And yes, that certainly includes Mrs. Yates, Vera Ralston.) Booth's multicultured Aleeta refreshingly takes the high road romantically and has several intriguing character traits, such as enjoying a good cigar. 

Adrian Booth (L)

Surprisingly, the film's major weakness is a mediocre script by the usually reliable James Edward Grant (SANDS OF IWO JIMA).  Dialogue is frequently stilted, and it's simply impossible to believe that Morrow got to the engagement stage with Constance given that neither she nor her father seem to have the slightest warmth for him, even in the beginning.  Another drawback is distractingly obvious use of rear screen projection in a few key scenes, cheapening an otherwise impressive-looking Trucolor production.

These problems notwithstanding, ROCK ISLAND TRAIL is consistently fun, a quintessential example of old school action and a good showcase for its leads with beautiful Mara matching Tucker's work.  Republic had high hopes for the film, providing an ambitious all-out promotion that included its stars (joined by Roy Rogers) traveling by train to the premiere in Rock Island, Illinois on April 27, 1950.  Despite the heavy publicity, ROCK ISLAND TRAIL was something of a box office disappointment, though the chemistry between its stars was undeniable, and Mara was cast as Tucker's leading lady in his next stab at top billing for Republic, CALIFORNIA PASSAGE.

CALIFORNIA PASSAGE (1950 Republic) Starring Forrest Tucker, Adele Mara, Jim Davis, Estelita Rodriguez, Peter Miles, Paul Fix, Iron Eyes Cody, Bob Williams, Charles Kemper, Lee Tung Foo.  Written by James Edward Grant.  Directed by Joseph Kane.

Mike Prescott (Tucker) and Linc Corey (Jim Davis) are uneasy partners in the Golden Bear, a Maricosa saloon circa 1850.  Unbeknownst to Prescott, Corey is involved in another partnership: he's been masterminding stagecoach robberies in cahoots with Bob Martin (Bill Williams).  After Prescott wins the saloon's profits via their business agreement (cutting cards, with winner taking all) for the 17th week in a row, resentment overcomes Martin.  Despite Corey's warning, hotheaded Bob is spoiling for a fight, and Prescott kills him in self-defense in the ensuing skirmish.  A short time later Bob's sister Beth (Mara) arrives from the East with youngest brother Tommy (Peter Miles) in tow.  Mike and Linc are both attracted to the new girl in town, deepening the antagonism between the shaky business partners.  After Prescott gains the upper hand for Beth's affections, Corey frames Mike for the stagecoach robberies, eliminating him from both that contest and the business partnership by forcing him on the lam.  Then Beth Martin uncovers evidence of Corey's guilt.

In contrast to the publicity blitz that accompanied the Trucolor ROCK ISLAND TRAIL, black and white CALIFORNIA PASSAGE was issued quietly in December 1950.  Still, it's the better film for my money.  The key is that screenwriter Grant is in much better form, providing dialogue that is much snappier and funnier, with Tucker and Davis puncturing one another with sharp one-liners frequently enough to require a scorecard.

Grant also throws us more curveballs this time around (that memorable mop duel notwithstanding).  Self-described "irregular, not incompetent" Sheriff Willy Clair (a terrific Kemper) shocks Beth with his passive reaction to a lynch mob.  But he's no coward, nor corrupt--he simply realizes he must pick his fights wisely while "civilizing" Maricosa, one resolved conflict at a time.  After an Indian attack is repelled in the opening scene, hero Prescott is the one who takes a scalp (from uncredited Iron Eyes Cody)!  His explanation to young Tommy?  "He'd have taken yours!"

Trucolor ROCK ISLAND TRAIL presented its hero and villain in straightforward black and white--black and white CALIFORNIA PASSAGE filters its foes through subtler (and changing) shades.   Reed Loomis was gregarious and affable but PASSAGE's Mike Prescott bluntly states: "I don't like people."  As mentioned above, Prescott's barbs are mostly aimed at not-so-beloved partner Linc, but also find their way towards Beth (one of those immigrants who has no idea what she's in for) and wary Sheriff Clair, who is treated to a "short beer" after Mike offers him one "on the house" (Kemper's reaction is priceless).

Likewise, Cabot's Kirby Morrow was unlikable from the get-go, but it's hard not to have some sympathy for Jim Davis' Linc--at first, anyway.  We learn that he's 0 for his last 17 in the "winner take all" method of determining profit sharing--and the most recent loss came after his partner was away for several months.  But Linc proves as unworthy of any sympathy as he is of Mike's reluctant loyalty by the final reel.  Our first impressions of Prescott, Corey and Clair are proven erroneous by film's end, as is Prescott's initial take on those immigrants from back East.  The same fog that exposed the vulnerability faced by Beth and Tommy in the opening scene plays a prominent role in their survival on the mountain later, suggesting they just might be more adaptable than Prescott thinks.

Estelita Rodriguez

CALIFORNIA PASSAGE boasts a typically outstanding Republic supporting cast.  In addition to Kemper, the film also offers an opportunity to enjoy a meatier-than-usual part for starlet Estelita Rodriguez, playing Williams' girlfriend and the saloon's singer,  (She gets two songs,  "Goin' Round in Circles" and "Second Hand Romance"). Rodriguez, only 22 at the time, would lead a sadly troubled adult life. Married four times, she passed away at age 37 from influenza in 1966.  Lee Tung Foo plays his familiar stereotypical Chinese cook, this time insisting repeatedly to Davis that everything is 'kosher'.

Rodriguez, Kemper and Davis (L to R)

The film isn't perfect--Beth's realization about her brother is a bit rushed, and the otherwise sharp Sheriff's suspicion of Prescott in the robberies seems pretty questionable.  (What would Mike's motivation be?  He's been winning the weekly take!)  Still, CALIFORNIA PASSAGE is suspenseful and entertaining.

While neither project catapulted him to A-list stardom, ROCK ISLAND TRAIL and CALIFORNIA PASSAGE established Forrest Tucker as a viable choice for heroic roles, and his ability to seamlessly alternate between friend and foe would make him one of the decade's busiest stars.  Tuck became one of Republic's top male leads (THE WILD BLUE YONDER, JUBILEE TRAIL opposite Joan Leslie) while sprinkling in vehicles with other studios, such as Fox (THE QUIET GUN), UA (COUNTERPLOT) and Hammer (BREAK IN THE CIRCLE) among others.  He continued to play villains effectively as well, most notably in SAN ANTONE (1953, for Republic) and RAGE AT DAWN (1955).  Forrest Tucker's Republic swan song, 1958's GIRL IN THE WOODS, arrived just a year before the studio's demise after a quarter century and nearly 1,000 features.

CALIFORNIA PASSAGE is currently streaming at Epix HD.

F TROOP Fridays: "Scourge of the West" (1965)

F TROOP Fridays: Number 11








F TROOP: "Scourge of the West" (1965 ABC-TV/Warner Brothers) Season One, Episode One: Original Air Date September 14, 1965.  Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Edward Everett Horton as Roaring Chicken, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Joe Brooks as Private Vanderbilt, Henry Brandon as the Shug Chief, Jay Sheffield as Lt. Hawkes, Louie Elias as Private Franklin and William Conrad as The Narrator.  Directed by Charles Rondeau.  Written by Ed James, Seaman Jacobs and Jim Barnett.


Happy 50th Birthday to F TROOP and to its debut episode, Scourge of the West!  Yeah, it's Monday, but hey, that's the day that the Fiftieth Anniversary of this pilot falls on.  Sorry to encroach on your day, MAVERICK.  Won't happen again, pinky swear.


In the "closing months of the War Between the States" the sonorious tones of William Conrad (CANNON himself!) are heard filling us in on the latest crisis to affect "a certain Union general" as he sits in his quarters near Appomattox, Virginia:

"Where's my laundry???"

Private Wilton Parmenter (Berry), Quartermaster Corps, the last and least of a proud Philadelphia family of career soldiers, is dispatched to fetch it.  While he may not look like much of a soldier....

Conrad informs us that he's been up to the "awesome responsibility" of "coming through with the underwear" numerous times.  This time, though, fate takes a hand, and Private Parmenter runs smack into an excess of pollen filling the air.  It triggers the usual involuntary response from the Private as he rides past a group of officers: they hear the sneeze loud and clear.

"You heard him, men!  CHARGE!!!!"  Well, loud, anyway.  The resulting offensive catches the Confederates completely by surprise, and within a matter of days, decisive victory is assured for the Union forces.  Wilton Parmenter has finally found his niche among the Majors, Colonels and Generals that make up his next of kin, and the newly nicknamed "Scourge of Appomattox" finds himself promoted to Captain, given a medal of honor.......

.....and a Purple Heart, which incidentally, not only made Captain Parmenter the first soldier to ever receive one, but the only recipient before 1917.  "The only soldier in history to get a medal for getting a medal."

While the hero is still recovering from his fresh wound, his superiors debate a proper assignment.  Midwestern Fort Courage is suggested.  "Sir, they've gone through three commanding officers in the past 18 months!  Two desertions and a nervous breakdown!"  Sounds daunting, but hey, how much more so can it be than coming through with Grant's starchless underwear?  Parmenter just might be the stabilizing influence the outpost needs, and he is given his new assignment: command of F Troop.

Wilton arrives at Fort Courage to much ceremony, and his very first cannon salute, to be set off by Bugler Dobbs (Hampton).  That is, if he can keep the fuse from burning out.  With the Private failing this simple exercise, the Corporal goes over to give the cannon a little nudge--well, more, accurately, he kicks the hell out of it.

And it does fire:

Needless to say, this won't be the last time that a detail will be assigned to rebuild the lookout tower.

After this inauspicious introduction, Bugler Dobbs (Hampton) displays his bugling talents the following morning, and they're on par with his cannon operation.  The new Captain is in his quarters when the two non-Coms we saw earlier, Sergeant O'Rourke (Tucker) and Corporal Agarn (Storch) report for duty, informing the new Captain that F Troop is ready for his initial inspection.

But Parmenter isn't.  He requires the Sarge's assistance with his gun belt, and the newly minted "Scourge of the West" wants to hang up the picture of his proud family---and to look up reveille in his Army Manual.  After Agarn is sent outside to call the troop to attention, and a couple more pratfalls (understatement of the episode from Wilton: "I fall down a lot.") it's time for Wilton to take command with some inspiring words.

"Men, you're in the Army now!"

After that rousing nugget of leadership, Captain Parmenter astutely notices that reveille takes place at 10 A.M. and asks the Sergeant why, for it was at 7 A.M. when he was in Quartermasters back East.  O'Rourke continues to be helpful while the inexperienced commander adapts.  "The Captain is forgetting--there's a three hour time difference."

That explanation out of the way, Parmenter's inspection reveals a number of imperfections: Dobbs is missing a button ("keep looking, it's bound to be around someplace"), Duddleson (Ivan Bell) has gravy stains, and Swenson requires Agarn's very first attention getter.

Brace yourself!

Shouldn't he get two for flinching, Corporal?  Interesting notes: Duffy is nowhere to be found, Vanderbilt is unnamed (and not demonstrably blind yet) and while he and Duddleson will both return as part of the regular cast, neither has a speaking part in Scourge of the West.

Wrangler Jane (Patterson) rides through announcing mail call, which brings the inspection to an abrupt end.  Janey had that kind of effect on a lot of us teenage boys who were watching.

Miss Jane Angelica Thrift takes an immediate shine to the new Captain, betting a bucket of buzzards that they'll "be seeing something of each other."  That'll have to wait, though, as the Captain's very first letter informs him of an immediate inspection by Second Lieutenant Hawks of the I.G.'s office.  "I just got here yesterday!"  Assuring their CO one last time, the NCO's appoint the Bugler to be Parmenter's orderly while they set out to make everything "as slick as a greasy whistle" for the visit from the brass.

With their new Captain seen to his quarters by Dobbs, O'Rourke and Agarn are finally able to give us their unfiltered views.  If they were apprehensive about having a member of the esteemed Parmenter family as commander--and it sounded like they were, initially--those fears have been safely put to rest.  "I tell ya, Sarge, he's the pigeon that we always dreamed of!"

The Sergeant is in no mood for celebrating, though, and neither is his aide-de-camp.  They've been bad, bad boys: F Troop draws rations and pay allotments for 30 men, yet only 17 are actually stationed at Fort Courage.  Also, they reported knocking off two tribes in two weeks.

"If that Lieutenant finds out just how peaceful it is around here, there'll be no more Fort Courage!"  Nagging Question # 1: Wouldn't an uneventful stay for the I.G. be easily explainable by the fact that two tribes were supposedly wiped out recently?  Who would be left to attack, and if anyone was, wouldn't they be wary of doing so?
 

Never mind.  Suffice to say that the pending visit from the Inspector General is not desired, and when we reach their NCO Club (Privates Keep Out- Officers too), we find out a few more reasons why.  This is one impressive array of loot.  Two hundred genuine Hekawi war bonnets, two barrels of perfumed war paint, arrows, bows, quivers, shields, tomahawks....but one problem, only half a case of whiskey for their saloon.  Business partner Chief Wild Eagle (deKova) of the "bloodthirsty" Hekawis reported to Agarn that the still is busted.

Crafty O'Rourke--he was the man responsible for getting rid of two Captains and a Major, we learn--reasons that they ought to be able to handle one nosy Second Lieutenant.  They head up to the Hekawi camp to kill two birds with one stone: discuss the still, and secure an opponent to stage a phony offensive that the troopers (yes, even F Troopers) can easily fend off for the benefit of the I.G.

The Chief has a bone to pick before they get down to business, though.  He wants to address the "nasty rumor" that the natives aren't supposed to drink alcohol, a "nasty rumor" spread by his "blue-nose redskin" sister in law, Sparkling Water.  After Wild Eagle laughs at his own joke for the first (but again, not the last) time, O'Rourke gets to the point, suggesting that the cannon will be fired as a signal to commence the raid.

"Attack you?  You honorary Hekawi!"  Wild Eagle isn't too keen on the idea, until he realizes that a shutdown of O'Rourke Enterprises would mean the Hekawi go back to hunting, fishing--and weaving their own blankets.  "We fight!"  But first, the War Dance has to take place.  Too bad the "bloodthirsty Hekawi" have been so peaceful for so long that no one remembers how to do a War Dance.  Not even ancient medicine man Roaring Chicken (Horton).  "Very much like Rain Dance, only drier."  Well, it has been 42 years since he saw one.

42 years ago last August, to be exact.  So, August 1822?

Corporal Agarn seems to have more knowledge than anyone, so he leads the dance.  Kinda nimble on his feet, actually:

Next, we'll learn the Mashed Potato!

Unfortunately, they've got company: warriors from the Shug tribe--and O'Rourke doesn't have a treaty with them.  The Shug leader doesn't want to attack the Hekawi, even with two palefaces in uniform there.  Instead, they'll follow them back to the Fort--which the Shugs plan to ambush for real in the morning.

Well, you got your attack now, Sarge!

Top billed Forrest Tucker was the extroverted leader of the cast offscreen as well, and he wisely told everyone to "think Bilko" while the pilot was in production.  For his part, Tucker brings a bit of that insincere flattery to the O'Rourke role, but tones down the blatantly bogus air around it ever so slightly.  Also, the 6'5" Tucker is much more physically imposing than the owlish Silvers, so he is much less animated when threatening to transfer everyone to "a fighting outfit" later--he correctly surmises that his rank and physical stature provides all the menace needed.  Even at this early stage, it's easy to see why Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke became the veteran actor's signature role.

Lieutenant Hawkes (Sheffield) arrives, and immediately notices the discrepancy between the rations and pay allotments (thirty men) and those assembled--seventeen, including Private Franklin (Elias) who has sentry duty, which apparently hasn't been assigned to Vanderbilt yet.  That must have been a Parmenter idea.  Oh, and by the way, since firing the cannon is the agreed-upon attack signal, I don't think I'd want to be in Franklin's boots.....

Anyway, the other thirteen men are "Indian scouts out on patrol" according to O'Rourke and Agarn.  Hawkes strangely accepts this explanation.  Then again, the Lieutenant mainly seems interested in inspecting Wrangler Jane instead of the Fort.

Pretty pervy look there, Lieutenant!  She doesn't return the interest, but verbalizing that to him will have to wait, since a flaming arrow comes flying past them, landing on the front door of the Captain's quarters.

While the ineptitude of the bugler and the cannon crew predated the Captain's arrival, Franklin's sentry duty is notably more accurate than Vanderbilt's would be in later installments.  The lookout correctly identifies the source as Indians instead of turkeys.  "The ferocious Hekawis are about to a-tack!"

Nagging Question # 2: thirteen scouts supposedly employed, and not a single one could tell you about a pending attack?  Gonna be awfully hard to keep those guys on the payroll, Sarge!

O'Rourke and Agarn are dismayed at the error by their business partners ("Nobody fired the cannon!") but nevertheless put the plan in motion, dutifully firing over the heads of the bloodthirsty "attackers".

However, Wrangler Jane is primed for action, darting to the parapets to join the seventeen F Troopers. Miss Thrift immediately shows us she's an ace with the pistol, knocking three Shugs off their horses and alarming O'Rourke, who wonders what he'll tell the Chief about the casualties.  In addition to performing such heroics while Annie Oakley was just barely out of diapers, Janey is also the first to recognize the invaders as the Shugs.  O'Rourke and Agarn were just a little late in not recognizing their business partners, despite a good clue:

"We're for real!  IT'S THE SHUGS!"  Meanwhile, the Captain is battling a couple of Shugs who scaled the wall near his quarters, and the Scourge of the West (accidentally) lives up to the reputation that has preceded him.  One is impaled while the Captain is trying to control his swinging saber, and while he attempts to get his weapon unstuck from the first, Parmenter accidentally stabs the second warrior as he finally frees the sword.  It may not look pretty, but hey, whatever works, works, right?

Once the Captain finally stumbles up on the parapet, he continues this impressive debut with a most unconventional weapon--a ladder.  A flaming arrow lands in the lookout tower, but miraculously does not cause this notoriously wobbly structure to fall.  However, it is still burning, and Parmenter grabs the ladder in an attempt to reach it.  And as has been the case with virtually every object he's encountered, he struggles to control it, ending up tumbling over the edge with it.....

.....at the precise moment that three Shug warriors attempt to scale the front wall.  When Sergeant O'Rourke warns Parmenter by name, we quickly learn that the Parmenter name carries a lot of weight with the Shug Chief.

"Scourge of the West!  RUN!"  And retreat the Shugs do, with the three clocked by the ladder bringing up the rear.

In the coda, Sergeant O'Rourke has added some new loot, "trophies of the Shug War".  Well, at least these souvenirs are genuine.  Meanwhile, the Captain gets the statistics, indicating it was a rout:  24 Shug casualties, none for F Troop.  Janey alone was responsible for 17 of the casualties, and we saw the Captain notch two inside the Fort, leaving five for his underlings.  Which was oh, roughly five more than we would see from the Troopers during the remaining sixty-four episodes.

It's 5 PM, so it's time for retreat, which apparently isn't affected by that time difference that O'Rourke brought up earlier.  Only one problem: you fire the cannon during retreat, and there's that little matter of the Hekawis still awaiting that signal to begin their offensive.  Unfortunately, O'Rourke and Agarn are unable to stop this little military tradition.

The second attack of the day commences, and in a further setback for business, O'Rourke Enterprises suffers some heavy inventory losses from that same cannonball.  Well, hey, on this one day, at least the lookout tower durably remains standing in front of the brass.

PIONEERS OF INNOVATION:

The Hekawis would prove to be incredibly prescient over the course of the show's run, anticipating the rise of rock and roll and the need for a gentleman's club nearly a century before either became mainstream.  We learn here it started centuries before, since they invented the peace pipe.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH TREASON:

The fake Hekawi attack probably applies, and for sure, shooting over the heads of the Shugs intentionally fits the bill as well, so two.

PC, OR NOT PC?

Janey refers to an "injun" attack, and of course Wild Eagle uses "redskin" once as well, but this time the visiting officer isn't a war Hawke for once.  And really, how un-PC can that "redskin" be if her nose is blue?

BOTTOM LINE:

Hits the ground running with a superb pilot, establishing the situation very quickly, with a few of the usual awkward “introductory” speeches. They aren't too much of a distraction from the numerous belly laughs.  Scourge of the West doesn't quite have all the pieces in place yet, but Tucker, Storch, Berry, Patterson and deKova are all immediately comfortable in their respective roles, and the script is full of hilarious one-liners.  (***1/2 out of four)


F TROOP currently airs on Me-TV for a full hour each Saturday morning at 5 AM ET/4 AM CT and on Sunday mornings at 7 AM ET/6 AM CT.